Weekend in Vegas

Well, I just got back from Vegas with Wilma and Bruno. Once again it was a fab trip!
We met so many people this time. Some knotheads. Some genuine, sweet people.

The knotheads were from Canada and Austrailia. I was actually embarrassed that these asses were from Canada, however they were not from Saskatchewan and we are all nice here!

There were some fine folks that we met from Ontario, who found beer and clam in a can! Yay! Good on them. It was very hard to find Clamato. Bloody Marys are too thick and you can not pour tomato juice in beer....speaking of.....we went to a little martini bar, well actually it wasnt little but where we sat, it was quaint and Bartender Corrin was fabulous. What a nice lady.

There was also our cab driver Wally who was also just as great. We had music blaring and he too was singing along with us to Lady Gaga! When he picked us up for the ride back to the hotel, it was Thriller that was coming out of his stereo!!

The room was nice and the company was lovely! We giggled and guffawed til the wee hours in the morning....well, except for Friday....we ordered room service for supper and watched Star Trek movies....it was nice.

The shopping was superb, there were so many deals...I had a tough time keeping my hands in my pockets. The place I was hoping to get to was Victoria Secret and was about to give up hope when we stumbled on to it on our way to the Martini Bar. I did get some treats from there but the best deal I got was from Ann Taylor. I just love the clothes from there. They are girlie and the colours are so rich.

I am looking forward to another little excursion with Wilma and Bruno....always smiles and laughs.

Ramblings

The gremlin was in my office again this morning. She left me a timmy's tea. What a treat!

Nothing like the Christmas spririt. Speaking of.....

I was a little ticked off yesterday when one of the former people-that-I-hate brought in home made chocolates and gave everyone a little gift but me. I thought this person and I were getting along quite well since our talk over the summer. We discovered that the one person that I hate is actually hated by alot of people and my three then became two after our chat...I was wrong. It's back to three again.

I was quite hurt and disappointed, not that I didn't get something but, it told me that he still has a problem with me and that all the joking, and laughing or talking to me is all a facade, I know he still doesn't like me....once again, I guess we have separated the men from the cowboys. Now, I feel I have to be guarded again and I hate that.

On a happier note, I see Buster today and Wilma and Bruno tomorrow. Its pay day today from both places and I am all done Christmas shopping except for stuffers and that can wait til I get back from Vegas.

What are we gonna do in Vegas? Who are we gonna see? I hear a martini calling off way in the distance.....FAIRY MAE??? LILY????
What is my name gonna be? Any suggestions? I'm open for options.....
Did I pack enough? Whats the weather gonna be like?...Did I...

The countdown

Well, only one more sleep til Buster gets home and two more sleeps til I see Wilma and Bruno and hop the plane for Vegas.

Actually, as presents go, these three people are pretty fantastic presents to have. I don't really want anything for Christmas. I have it all right here around me.

I will be spending a pre-Christmas with my two best friends and once Christmas does hit, I will be surrounded by a new family and their traditions PLUS heading home to my own.

I am nervous when I go with Buster to his family's get-together. I am not sure what to expect. Are they a loud family? Are they a sit-around-on-the-couch-and-watch-kids-play family? Are they a kitchen table family? Are they a games family? What kind of questions are they going to ask me? Will I be able to answer them all?

My family, well, we eat, play Mexican Train, eat, play Mexican Train, eat, go to church, eat, open presents, eat.....and so on. We are a semi-loud family. We laugh alot.

As the count down to Christmas draws near, I am looking forward to it all, and a new beginning to a new year.

Laughs

Winter Fun.

Ouch! Thought it was kinda funny though....

They're WHAT?

Yes, they are lost.

My scripts are lost!

The order was placed in New York, which was then transferred to Los Angeles then the order was sent to British Columbia and now....vanished into thin air!

They say 4-6 weeks! WHAT?

If I didn't have bad luck, I would have no luck.

Sigh.

On the Phone

I was trying to log in to the new banking system at my bank on line, and was getting very frustrated because I could not get my password to log in.

Now, really whats the point in getting mad, its your own stupidity that you can't remember a simple password! I mean we have passwords for everything and I normally use just one for all, but there is that one log in that you need to use a number with your normal password and that my friends is where I get stumped.

Just having to remember which number goes with which site! Its crazy....so, I call my 1 -800 banker and he laughed at me! I phoned, said hello, the usual weather chit chat and then I told him the new site sucked and he laughed! Course, I laughed too, but the bubbly man got me through my little tantrum, told me I was a rare customer who didn't verbally abuse him and was told I made his day....and he made mine too!

Moral of the story, a little kindness with a dose of laughter goes a long way! Laughter truly is the best medicine!

Favourite Things

It's cold.

Ya, I know that it's winter, but holy hell, we went from -5 to -35 overnight?

Yes, I know even God has a sense of humour but jeezzzz Louise!

5 Favourite Winter Activities

1). Going out to count horsey noses, then standing in the middle of the herd sucking in their body heat and horsey smell.

2). Cross country skiing with my pooch...she is so much fun, you don't even know its cold out.

3). Ice Fishing...but don't ask me to touch it or gut it after I have caught it! Yuk! I will however, eat it once its cooked!

4). Down hill skiing...woohoo! What a rush!

5). Vacationing in a warm spot in Mexico, playing Tequila volleyball!

Winter Fun.

1/2 mile high club

Last night was once again a school Christmas concert. All learning lessons and all different from the one previous.

Once I got home though, I turned on the boob tube and promptly dialed Buster to "check in". Of course I woke him up and wondered once I hung up if he would remember the conversation, and how many times could I get away with talking to him during sleep if I could ask for anything I wanted in the future....this morning he remembered talking to me so there goes that out the window! No sparkly trinkets for me!

After I hung up from Buster, I turned on the computer and headed over to facebook. I discovered that Wilma was on, so she then called me and we drooled together over the hotel room...scratch that...suite, a-hem a 750 square foot suite that we are staying in when we jet to Las Vegas!

I think we will be joining the 1/2 mile high club when we get there.

We giggled and exchanged stories, ok, gossip and are ready for the trip.

Hmmmm, I wonder what kind of trouble we will all get into when we are there?

Winter Fun.

Reflection

As Christmas draws near, the more I pine for my grandparents.
If I could spend just one day each with them just one more, I would, well, I don't know what I would sell to have just one more day with them but I know something would go.

Christmas was always at Grama's house and when she got older, I would take days off, come home and help her start cooking, all the prep that needed to be done before everyone, even Santa came to the house.

I would prep and she would tell me what to add, if something needed a little more of this or to whip the meringue to that consistency.

I miss that so much. If I had just one more day with her I would ask her to give me the Sour Cream Raisin Pie recipie and to help me make her cheese bread and to go over one more time just who all were in those family pictures from way back when.

I miss her telling me what a good girl I am. I miss her smell, her smile and her wisdom.

Grapa, well if I had just one more day with him, I would ask how he could always turn a dollar into a hundred, I would ask him to show me just one more time how to build that frame for the chicken house stronger, what kind of shingles and to show me how to keep the oil shed and garage from falling down. I miss playing crib with him, the fake arm wrestling and most of all I miss dancing the polka, and waltz with him while Lawrence Welk repeats were on.

I miss going to church every Christmas eve with the family, drunk uncles or not. Grama oblivious to them and grapa looking at them with his eyebrows knitted together and my cousins and I giggling at them all.

I had three very important people in my life, my mom, my grapa and my grama, and now, now I am down to one very important person in my life and thats my mom. I went from three to one in such a short time. My mom is still so very important to me and love her dearly...eventhough she drives me nutty sometimes! I wouldn't miss it.

Christmas time is a bitter sweet time. Eventhough, I have lost two very important people in my life, my prolific cousin now has three kids, the youngest is nine months the middle one is 5 and the oldest 14. I must say that it is kinda fun to have young ones in the house excited for Santa and I am looking forward to seeing the nine month old as he has me wrapped around his little finger.

This Christmas I will be spending with Buster, his little girl and his family until the 27th, then home I go to my dear family. I am looking forward to it, as it is new chapter in my life and I am hoping it will be a chapter that lasts for a long, long time, one that when I am old and gray and nodding by the fire will think about fondly and smile.

Scrooging at work

I feel a rant coming on!

There are two things that I am not fond of and that is dance season and school xmas concert season. These two times bring out the best in parents.

Its always that one parent that is a nightmare which makes me lump them all together as "get your shit together parents".

One parent last night was pissed off because she couldnt get a seat. 548 seats in this venue and you cant get your shit together enough to get your butt over here to stand in line and wait. Your kid got here on time? Oh, you have to work....lets see, most bosses will let off early to get your kid on time to these things....excuse after excuse and then the verbal abuse starts...when did it become ok to verbally abuse anyone, anywhere? WHEN? I stepped in at that point when she satrted in on one of our elderly volunteers....I told her if she couldn't be nice, she had to leave and how proud would her son or daughter be if they found out you were kicked out for verbal abuse? What is going on here?


I went over to get my H1N1/flu shot yesterday over at the clinic and there is a big bold sign..."verbal abuse of any kind will not be tolerated". I see these signs posted everywhere, in retail stores, in restaurants, in the clinics...what the hell? Why can't anyone be polite anymore? Why does everyone have to be so angry? Why the chip on the shoulder?

Go get some help. Please!


Ahhh, I feel better now.

Leaving on a jet plane

Well, Vegas is a hop, skip and a jump away. I am heading to Sin City with Wilma and Bruno.

I am flat busted broke and can barely afford my plane fare, but I am going.

Who can pass up spending a few days with your best friends to catch up on gossip and giggles while sipping on a martini? I mean seriously. Its only money. I can't take it with me when I die and I have no one to pass it on to...so I'm going.

I am also going in January to Mexico with Buster. We are waiting on his passport and then Hola bound. I do plan on swimming, drinking free tequila, and laying in the sun...maybe not all in that particular order, but its gonna happen. This pastey white girl is gonna sit under the palapa with her hat, sunglasses, wrap and bathing suit with a margarita in her hand getting waited on hand and foot by the cute little Mexican men, with of course, Buster by my side.

Now, what to pack for Vegas?

TPB

Last week we were graced with the presence of Julian, Bubbles and Ricky.

Not impressed. The show was great...the actors themselves...meh, not so much.

I am a people person and I have been at this job now for two years. Two people have stuck out in my mind so far as the nicest most down to earth people - we're talking "celebrity status" here. They are Jason Blaine and Kalan Porter...honourable mentions go to Johnny Reid and Patrick Roach and John Dunsworth. Now if you don't know who the last two are, well, they are Randy and Lahey from TPB.

I'm not out to be their best friend, I have many. I do, however have to work with them. It is my job to make sure everything is running smoothly, any beefs or bouquets come to me. Although, there were no bouquets from the three, there were no beefs either. I asked Mike and Rob if they needed anything and though they shook my hand and introduced themselves to me, you could tell they were "of higher status"....are they joking!?

I laughed as I exited the room.

I can't be bothered.....

Brain Song 2

My Brain Song today stems back to my visit in Colombia with my extended family the Contreras'.

I love them all dearly and miss them terribly. I hope to go back one day. The weather was gorgeous, the scenery breath taking and the people...beautiful.

This song was on the Top 10 when I was there. Jorge in the back seat singing this at the top of his lungs while Genaro drives and I in the passengers seat tapping my toes and clapping. By the time I was ready to go home, I had this song memorized and both Jorge and I were singing at the top of our lungs and Genaro...still driving.

I miss them so much my heart hurts when I think too hard about my time there. The friends I made, the love I found for the people and the Country and my Contreras Family.

Show stopping

So, I am directing the play for the Gala. "The Hound of the Baskervilles".

I realize it has been many years since I have directed a full length play but I feel I have the ability to do so. I am dedicated, organized, a control freak, and I have a vision of how I want the play to be.

I was told the other day that there is doubt from the committee that I can pull this off. I was kinda stunned, firstly because I have been a thespian for years, secondly, I am the president of the gala and it was news to me and thirdly, I saw no one else step up to the plate....and I really wanted to do this play.

I have the cast picked and already have had someone start rail roading me into switching cast around. This past festival, we had an actor join our little group and he is one of the best actors I have seen in a long time and I have chosen him to be Sherlock....the set constuctor has other ideas.

I can't understand why people, and it has happened all my life, have to try to change my mind for me. If they say no or have an opinion I respect it, but when I have a say, its not good enough for them and really I am tired of it. Almost 40 and still people think I am an idiot. Maybe I am.

Let me try and if I fall then I will know but until then the show must go on.

Brain song

Lately I have been having really loud brain songs....you know, the song in your head that you wake up with, then continue to hear it alllll daaaaay.

I know I am not the only one who has them. I know that. Right? My same brain song continues for days sometimes and no matter what else you listen to, it goes right back to that three day old brain song.

At the moment, my brain song is what I posted on Utube at the top. It is by Jeff Straker and it is Sad Song. I have the doo doo doody doos in my head...thats it!

I gotta find another one soon or I fear that all my next post will be are "doo doos"!

I'm not lost.

Ohhhh my oh my. Where to start.

Well, tonight is Trailer Park Boys. Actually two nights of them...yes, Bubbles, Julian and Ricky.

I can not believe how many people have never been to our theatre before. Well, really are the Trailer Park Boys really culture? I suppose they are a culture in their own right. Not my kind of culture, but never the less....we are at least bringing in a "new" people who will be seeing the theatre...thats is one bright side.

I am actially looking forward to meeting the boys because when Randy and Lahey were here for a performance, they were really quite nice men. Intelligent and knew what side of their bread was buttered. Lahey, who in real life is a Shakespearian actor, was a very brilliant man to talk to and Randy was also very intelligent, so meeting the other three out of character will be interesting I'm sure.

Other news...well I have been jetting here and there for many Arts showcases, meeting talented singers, songwriters, actors and musicians all of whom are trying to make a living in this Country. I have met many these last few weeks and the one who still is to me a fabulous singer/songwriter is Jeffrey Straker. He is truly a hard act to follow!...and he is a prairie boy!

Another person who I have befriended is a woman by the name of Karen Fawcett. She is an opera singer who is wonderful! And I don't even like opera!!

Relationship wise, well, I have been dating for three months now, not quite three, to a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and is open and honest. He tells it like it is and this is pretty good on my part. No hidden agenda. YAY! I meet his family this weekend and I am nervous. He met my two closest friends, Bruno and Wilma. He really liked them AND he really likes the theatre!! He had never attended any theatre before and now I have made him into a monster! We are attending a black tie event this weekend. The Shumka Dancers will be performing in Edmontonia and I am super excited a). that I am going and b). I am going with someone who will enjoy it as much as I!!

I am also super excited as we (Wilma, Bruno and I) are heading to Vegas in December.

After my little nerve episode, I sat down and truly thought about who my friends are and who is really no good for me. I have found that I can only be with people who love me for me. I can not change, well I can change a few things, but my "behaviours" are a learned behaviour and I can only change to my ability. I like who I am. I have finally found me.
The people who matter to me are my family, Buster the new and improved better half, and only a handful of close friends and Wilma and Bruno are two of them. Not only do I think of my family, close friends and Buster daily, but I also wonder how they are, what they are doing and so forth.

So with this new found awareness, I am really looking forward in going to Vegas with my two of my best friends. I am looking forward in going to a hot place with Buster, I am looking forward to Christmas with my family.

With 2009, The Year of Being Me almost gone. I think I have finally found me. It took me awhile but, I am still here, I am now in relatively good health, I am in a stable relationship, my friends who have helped me through this rough spot are still here - I have not scared them off!, my family is closer to me then ever and my job is soaring to new heights.

I am back on track and will be blogging, which I missed doing, on a regular basis again....

Ohhhh by the way....

Ya, woke up this morning and I was an hour early.....everywhere.

10 best things I love about Saskatchewan
1). NO TIME CHANGE
2). The Roughriders
3). Saskatoon berries
4). The Family Farm
5). Saskatchewan hospitality
6). Tommy Douglas
7). John Diefenbaker
8). Royal Canadian Mounted Police
9). Leslie Nielson
10). McKenzie Art Gallery

I'm still here!!

Oh Heavens...where to begin!
Well, I have been seeing a great guy now for the past 2 months...finally, a quirly sense of humour!! YAY!
Legs called me last night...drunk I might add and wanted me to go with him and FIVE other women to the Hallowe'en dance...whaddya think my answer was!? I was dumbfounded (is that all one word?) whatever.

Did he seriously think I was going to go?

He has issues.

These past two months have been crazy. The Community Theatre group that I belong to is hosting a one act festival and I am finding that I can't remember things that need to be done. Even when I write it down. One more weekend then it will be all over with. I am mainly stressing about the participants arriving. Once that is done on the Thursday, it will wind down...I hope.

My mom is coming up that weekend and the "new" man in my world will also be attending and I have seated them both together...well next to Bruno and Wilma...I will be lucky to sit next to them all.

I also have volunteered my mom to do another one of her paintings for the silent auction. I can hardly wait to see it. She dosen't like it but then what artist is ever really happy with their work. I mean really and truly, there is always "something" not quite right or may be should have added this or taken that away and so on....

I have also been asked to go t o a black tie event on the 21st, so I MUST pick out the perfect dress. I have always enjoyed these types of events. All the networking, socializing and hoity-toitiness of it all. Ahhhh, why wasn't I born rich instead of good looking?

I am still alive, just so rotten busy. The boss has resigned here at work and I have had to take on other duties. I was informed that a raise will be in my favour in the new year! Good. I say!

I'm not going home for Thanksgiving. There is no point really. Everybody is working. I thought it was a holiday?

Well, I guess I could put my name in to work at the hell job. I don't really want to.

I often ponder why I wasn't born rich instead of good looking? I suppose if I could find my dead beat of a father and hit him up for all those years of missed child support. I could maybe clean up my credit card debt, or buy a house, or go on a luxurious vacation. If I could have asked my grandfather BEFORE he pass on..."Grapa, how is it you can turn a dollar into a hundred?" He seemed to be able to do that....I will never know. If I could oh, I don't know...predict the future or find a Sports Almanac like Biff did in Back to the Future, I could be rich too right now. If I could find a very rich, good looking, sugar daddy....well that would be alright too!

But I, am not rich....I am good looking (I guess) and that' is just the way it goes!!

Plug away, work, work, work.

Up and coming...

Well, I just spent a week in Toon Town learning how to massage a horse. Yes, some human parts apply! It was a very interesting week. I learned about muscles, bones, trigger points, stress points and how to calm myself before starting on the horse. I passed all tests with flying colours and the actual hands on was a breeze!

I am now a certified Equine Massage Therapist, and now have applied to another course on Equine Appraisals. I am hoping to take this course during the winter so then by Spring all is done and I can quit my hell job.

As for the dating scene...I have another date tonight. I have been "seeing" this certain gentleman for a couple of weeks now. He is quite nice, thoughtful and polite. He has a 4 year old daughter, which makes me a bit nervous. I haven't met her yet and have informed him that I have never dated someone with kids before! He was pretty good about it and I guess we'll take things one step at a time, which....is just fine with me.

On the other hand....I talked to Legs today and I am renting a truck to get the remainder of my belongings from his farm on Saturday so.....I have to be nice until then.....I hate being nice to people I loathe! I absolutely detest this, this creature on two legs! It goes against my every being to be nice. There are not too many people on this earth that I hate and he is one of them.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Well, the lunch date with the dude from Battletown didnt work out....this is good! Actually, things were backed up here at work and I had to cancel out. I didn't have a good gut feeling about this guy, so I was thankful that there was work to be done!



I did go last night out to dinner, then there was a movie to go to but yesterday at work, I decided to go and get a toffee coffee and I was about half done when the trigger pulled and a migraine started. Damn toffee coffee, guess I won't have that again....anyway, I cut the dinner and a movie short and just went to dinner. It was nice, the lights were low and there were no loud noises! We did make arrangements to try the movie thing again. See how it goes....

Tad turned out to be a dud! Good to find out now! Well, we just separated the men from the cowboys once again!

Carry on McDuff!

Movin' on....

Well, since Tad, fell through, I am daring to head out there again....ahh the trials and tribulations of a kitty kat in training - yup thats right, Cougar status is around the corner!

My next date is this Thursday, I head to VagueVille, which is about an hour away. I decided to meet him on his ground then that way, if the "date" goes to the crapper, I can leave. I am getting wiser in all of this.

I laughed this morning, when I checked out my two regular sites to see if I had any emails and the one man I said no to discreetly on one site, found me on another, emailed me and asked why I closed the match. I am thinking to myself...what does he care. I never even met this person! So I emailed him back and told him that he had a few things up against him. A) he lived in the city - ummmmm farm girl here...how does that work? Would you like the horse and chickens in town?? B). He had ZERO interest in animals....ummmm?? DUH? and C) He didn't like cultural events....ummmmm, the arts is my full time job, now I don't expect a person to love everything, because I sure don't, but this guy would at least have to have a tolerance for it and he didn't. Have a nice life buddy and move on.

I thought it was weird that he tracked me down...ahhh this too shall pass.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date with a man from Battletown. We have a mutual friend who decided to try matchmaking! I am not holding out for much hope as this man too, lives in the city. He may be a nice guy, but he's not for me.


This weekend I am invited to a movie premiere in Saskabush, a theatre friend and I are going to attend. Both films are filmed in Saskatchewan and have Julia Armond, Bill Pullman and Jeremy Irons acting in the one film and haven't heard yet who is in the other.

Ahhhh, what to wear?

Wonder if I should dust off my tiara?

Good news!

Well, it has been confirmed that a clothing fashion designer who designs Native Wear is branching out and is taking her talents to a new high. She has decided to branch out and do an all round ladies line. She was looking to do the photo shoot of her new line in a setting with lots of trees, rivers...well, ok and or creeks! and horses and a friend of ours recommended us to her and she is now using our farm and horses in her shoot!

We are super excited as with will show off our herd of spotted friends and the scenic valley we live in.

Too cool!

The Year of Me

I sometimes forget that there really are people like me out there. I am the person who can not stop thinking, I think and think and think and it gets exhausting. A person who does this uses up ALOT of energy. Whether we think its good for us or not and really its not good energy at all.

I have been upfront with Tad about certain subjects and have come to find out that he too over thinks. Not as much as I do, but he does. This guy is cautious and I can't say as I blame him. I am too but in a different way and on different subjects like the love for my horses and such...very touchy subject!

So when I asked Tad what was going on in his head, he explained to me that he is quite shy, and he is! I have honestly never dated someone so shy before but anyway.....he is a pretty nice guy and things are progressing.

I have also had another "date" with a....I can't say a gentleman, nor can I say a neanderthal but somewhere in between. He is polite. He is not a snappy dresser. He has not looked after himself well, and I kinda have a peeve about the pictures that are used as "profile" pics. If its a pic that you are 20 years old in and are now 35 years old....well, you don't really look 20 anymore and well, it was kind of a shock, when he introduced himself....he didn't look anything like his picture.

Turn off!

Thank Heaven it was only a coffee date. Needless to say it was short lived date.

I joined another couple of "free" sites!! SCARY!!!!!! I deleted my account about 15 minutes after I was on. Almost nightmare status!

Tad called me yesterday and came in for supper. It was a good meeting and I do think there is potential there. I am weighing the pros and cons on this one. Let me just say, I am so much wiser now.

I have another coffee date later this week. Will see how that one goes!

I can't say that things have gone wrong at all. I am not committed to anyone nor am I getting married tomorrow, but I am having fun, I am not hurting myself or anyone else, and will see how things go.

It's getting pretty busy at work now and I am sure I will once again be married to the job and the dating scene will slow down for me....

Until then the adventure continues...................


Don't worry Poopsie my friend, all is well!

what next?

So this online dating thing is different.

I have had three dates with Tad and all has gone well...except for last night.
I have been given flowers.....which I haven't had in years and years. It was a nice surprise.

Last night I was went to the movies and when he dropped me off at my place, he came inside and I guess I asked him something a few nights ago which made him think I wanted to get married tomorrow. NOW, my idea of dating...and correct me if I am wrong cuz I AM outta the loop on this, but I thought dating was talking about different subjects, past, present and future...to make sure each is on the right track and can get along. My idea is that if I get bad vibes, then were done right off the bat. If I get a good energy about that person, then I throw caution to the wind and say let's give it a try. If things go off really good the first couple of dates, then I shut down all other communication that I have with other potetial and concentrate on putting energy into the current situation.

I see things in black and white. I try to see shades of grey but that tends to get all muddled and blurry. If you can put everything out on the table, at least you know where you stand and can go from there. I refuse to sit around and hem and haw. I have a direction for myself and I think it's pretty clear. Whether or not it includes Tad, well only time will tell, but if he is not in the game then he needs to be benched.

We were sitting on the couch gabbing and Tad tells me that he wants to take things slow and not get so serious. I'm fine with that, but at the same time, if I am gonna see you, then I'm gonna SEE you and only you. I wasn't quite sure how to take it, so this morning I asked him what his deal was...

I'm still waiting on an answer.

I hate dating.

At the farm

I was at the farm this past weekend and enjoyed the heck outta myself by attending a cabaret hosted by a Pipeline outfit that has been in town for the past few months. They threw the party to thank the community for welcoming them. It was free booze and free food. Can't get much better then that! The band they hired to play was exceptional too. Not only did I have my fill on food and drink but I cut a rug a few times too!

The rest of the weekend was spent fixing fence...that is a never ending job and looking for a missing horse. This is the second horse that has gone missing. We did eventually find the first horse and discovered that a cougar was the culprit and we think that is what happened again. We called our neighbours to see if they saw our missing horse and they told us they lost a mare last month to a cougar....so we called the game warden and he told us to take the gun out with us the next time we check on horses.

While I was walking two miles of fence it suddenly dawned on me that we have a big cat roaming the pasture and by the time I thought of it, all I had to defend myself if I needed to, was a hammer, fencing pliers and three dogs. I figured I was covered so I carried on walking fence. On my way back however, I was in the slough patching fence and the two dogs started to bark and growl. My whole body tensed. The little blonde bomb dog Tammy, stuck close to me. The dogs wouldn't stop barking so I decided to arm myself with the hammer and check it out.

Theo and Effie had trapped a beaver...some relief there! I called them off and we were all happily on our way again.

Yesterday was time to head home and mom and I decided to check all the horses once more before I left. We discovered that one of our babies was so lame that she couldn't step on her front foot....we called Angle-a and her and the kids came out to help wrangle a wild filly on three legs! Well...we managed to get mom, baby and babysitter into the barn, give oats to the guardians and cornered the wild eyed filly. Good thing she was little, I would say about 3-400 pounds. We managed to get the halter on her, give her a needle full of penicillin and rinse her little foot to see what was the cause of her pain....which took all of about 15 minutes....easy!

I was on my way back to the Border Town...yippy. Note of sarcasm there...

Back to the farm in a couple of weeks....wonder what adventure lies ahead!

Just not so

Well, I was having problems with what they thought was Essential Tremor Disorder. I just couldn't control my hands. They shook all the time, so they put my on drugs to stop the shaking, then I had Restless Leg Syndrome, so more drugs for that....I couldn't understand, why all of a sudden I had this stuff. Nobody else in my family had it, I didn't know my dad's side, maybe it he had it? What do I know...

When I went back home for the week, I fell apart. Non stop crying, bad thoughts...terrible ones actually, and I then, went to the doctor. As is turns out, depression runs in the family. Grama had, it, my cousin has it, my mom has it, and I do too. He also said I have some OCD trays...meaning I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorders over "time". My time is different to everyone elses. The strange thing is, is that I knew I had a problem with time, but didn't know what or how to stop these outrageous urges. When I go to the lake with Wilma and Bruno, we all hang up our watches and I would think, and think and think about the watch hanging on the nail and tell myself to lighten up. Someone says talk to you later and if it wasn't my later which is 2-4 hours, I would drive myself into the ground pacing, looking out the window, checking the time and I would do it so much, I would lose track of time....I was slowly driving myself crazy.

For those who know me are used to me stuttering and stammering. My brain always in overdrive and can't catch up to what I wanted to say. The anxiety attacks were so severe that I literally could not catch my breath...I would be on the phone to mom or the cousin and so upset that I would gasp for breath leaving them in terror on the other end because I couldn't take in enough air and they couldn't help me from where they were...which is on the other side of the Province!

Today, is a good day. Today, I am on medication that I must stay on, and I may not be cured, but my thinking patterns are evening out, I still have the odd freak out, but they too are subsiding. When someone tells me later, it will BE later and not my later. I can put my watch on and not look at it every five minutes. I'm no longer jumping out of my skin when someone comes around the corner. Things are slowing down and I am on the mend!

Finally.

Not gonna just sit.

Well, it's been 9 days since I got the boot and I decided on about day 3 that I was not gonna sit in my little abode and feel sorry for myself. I thought about Stifler's Mom who was at my place almost every night crying on the couch feeling sorry for herself and making me feel bad about not having anyone in her life. So, on day 4, I joined an online dating service...a well respected one, and the responses I have had are great. Ihave discovered that I will no longer tolerate being treated like a piece of crap, I will no longer tolerate being yelled at or made to feel bad about myself. I am a nice person, I would give you the shirt off my back, I am loyal, trustworthy....and cute!

I also have had a couple of people whom I had meet through Legs ask me out, but I just think that is too weird, and really I don't want to have to cross paths like that. I want to cut the ties and move on, and so, it shall be done.

I managed to meet this really nice guy through this online dating service and we went out for dinner last night. It was really nice to be able to have adult conversation with someone mature, and his head on straight, a direction in life and a career! Who knew!!?

He is heading out this next week for a week of holidays so it will give us a chance to think about things and decide if we are going to continue or go in a different direction, which is good with me.

Until then, I will continue to review my matches and ......date!


Look out! Here I come!

Done like Dinner

Well, the saga is over.
Legs and I are done.

How did things go you might ask?

Well, if you had decided to log on to his facebook and see his status listed as single...you would have known the same time I did! Yup...the coward didn't even have the balls to tell me.

He called me the day before...we talked as usual, nothing struck me as odd. We talked about the upcoming weekend, what I was to get for a gift for the wedding we were to attend together...I got no indication it was over. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

I was very upset at first. But then I got am email from his Aunt....HIS AUNT!! She told me that I was a good person, that his family were nothing but mean, nasty people and took anyone they could for granted. Squeezed the life out of them and then threw them away and that I should be glad that they are no longer in my life.

That my friends......

Made me smile!

Good Grief!

Well, Legs is in a mid life crisis and I am taking the brunt of it.

Why is it I have to hook up with the guys who are going through "the change"!?

And for those men out there who say, you don't go through it, you better not say it to me! I have witnessed it not once, but twice and this little ole heart o mine is not going to be able to handle much more of it. I mean really!

Hell, I haven't even gone through it yet!! WTF!

The "ex" told me that he needed a change and wasn't ready to retire and didn't want to be married anymore, but that I could still live in the house with him! Are you kidding! You don't want me to be a part of your life, but I can still live in the same house...ummmm....NO.

NOW, "the better half" is going through his own, dealing with the family farm, selling off quarters of land, hating his job and I'm the one he's thinking of dumping! I just thought that I was the only thing stable in his chaotic life, but as it turns out, I'm not. I'm the cause of it, cuz now he is getting cold feet in having to settle down and start to make a life with someone. BUT, he doesn't want to break up cuz HE thinks that "we" will be alright, so in the mean time I am thinking...am I in or am I out?

Talk about a great weight loss regime!

....and I am a basket case.

Set it free

If you love something, set it free.
If it comes back, it is yours.
If it doesn't, it never was.
-Anonymous

Isn't it funny how life repeats itself.

First with my mom when my dad left and never came back.

The set it free poem was always present in my life. My mom had this poster on her wall in her bedroom. She said it reminded her of my dad.

I have never forgotten that day, nor the poem...as, secondly, it always seems to be ever apparent in my own life.

When is it gonna end.

Vegas...or bust.

Ohhhh, how I would love to go to Vegas, but I simply can not.
I am taking an Equine Massage Therapy course the week before and I just can't make it work. I thought I would go, and then I looked at the Calendar....not. gonna. happen....I asked the better half if he was interested...I was turned down, he said it will be harvest by then since things are so late. I get that.

I was going to the Minot State Fair to see my first ever pig show, but thats been scrapped too. Apparently what there is for hay, will need to be cut and baled so....I'm not impressed to say the least.

I honestly am getting the impression that the better half doesn't want to go anywhere with me.

He wants to go hunting in November, but nowhere with me. Well, I have played that card before in my previous marriage. If that's the case, well then it is what it is, and I will go with my friends instead.

I don't think I'm that much of a bother. I mean, I know I can't read a map worth a damn, and I can get lost without any effort, and I know I am not the brightest penny in the jar, and I might complain a time or two, but I think my travelling companions are basically happy with my presence?

Anyway, if I didn't have the course then I, yes I! would be on that plane, by myself, going.

Keep me in mind for future...I'll try not to take any more week long courses!!!

New way to exercise

Well, this past week and some I went home. To the farm. Would you like to know what I did?

I pounded about 20 posts in with a 16 pound sledge...on the second day, I found my muscles...or rather, they found me!

Along with me cousin, we fixed miles of fence, created another wood fence and pounded out a wall and then proceeded to create another.

We shovelled loads and loads of manure and that was only half the barn, we stacked bales and cleaned and mowed the yard! Im talking push mower people! No riding mower this year!

We stacked pallates for the fence mom is intending to build.

We sorted horses, and weaned two not very happy colts.

We dug out the fire pit and made it deeper!!
It was great to see a huge bon fire in the evenings!

We were very busy.

As for the exercise.... I only managed to lose two pounds but lost 3 inches of my bust, 2 inches off my waist, lost most of my back fat! and lost 2 1/2 inches off my butt/thigh area!

I worked hard this past week. I played only last Friday and that was at the bar for steak night.

I did enjoy the company during the work week at home and sitting around the bon fires drinking a well deserved beer.

I think I'll do it again in about three weeks.

YAY!

I got my new passport!!!

Wanna go somewhere?

You do?

Where?

LA!

I'm in!


What are we gonna do?

Really?

Yes, yes, yes!

Shoeshopping
Our MUST Go Restaurant - le Clafoutis!
Camarillo - Clothes shopping...don't pack too much!
Venice Beach
Saddle Ranch
Rodeo Drive - Do you think we'll see Cameron Diaz again...she didn't look happy the last time we saw her!! (teehee)

Are we staying at the BW on Sunset again...what are the odds of seeing Ron Jeremy again with his crew? Maybe someone different this time eh? Calamity Jane? The Contractors? Good Grief!


Maybe we should try the Blues House again.

Where are we gonna go thats new?

Yes, let's do some research. See what we come up with!

Great! Sounds like a plan.....

Why, I ask Why?

I was working at the hell job all weekend and we have a "new" girl that just started....



She is a different sort and thats all I will say. I have never worked with someone quite like her before....



Yesterday, she was in the back and I walked through the door and she is sitting on a chair shaking and a single tear rolled down her pudgy face. I asked what is wrong? Kinda shocked, kinda interested....the nosy part of me. She told me she was sick! That she just threw up in the bathroom and doesn't know if she can stay....what the....!



SICK!!! What the H-E-double hockey sticks are you doing at work infecting all the others! GET HOME!



Today, today, I am sick. I have the flu. Am I impressed.....no.



Why do you come to work when you know you are sick? Why must you infect others with your illness? I just don't understand?



Stay home! Be sick there....I don't want your nasty flu bug!....the one that I have NOW!!



Little bitter! YES!



Get a grip Fairy....



I will say that I do get the odd...ok, I get lots of migraines, but I know where that comes from and its inherited...thanks Grama!





If you are sick....for the love of all things, stay home and let the rest of us be healthy!

We've been robbed!

My faith tells me he is in a better place, my faith tells me she won't suffer any more but really we have been robbed!






As a kid I used to play "Charlie's Angels" with friends...I was never Farrah, even though I had the blonde hair. I was usually "the other one"!








Today, in the porch closet I pass the dusty black Michael Jackson zipper jacket. Yup, I still have it! and the "glove", is in the pocket. I'm admitting that....eeegads.



I used to wear the pleather black skin tight pants and the peter pan get-away shoes with the oversized dress shirt buttoned half way down with a belt wrapped at least three times around my waist. My influence....Michael Jackson.



I never had the body of Farrah Fawcett so I workedwith what I had!! and the Pleather pants seemed to work for me....or so I thought. I looked like all that and a bag of chips!



As I hear the news of both icons passing I was saddened more about Michaels than Farrah's, she was struggling for so long..



I was working at the hell job yesterday afternoon when we all heard it, staff and customers and we all stopped in our tracks....did he just say Michael Jackson? Nahhhh, I think I heard Michael Jordan.....noooo, he said Michael Jackson!!



I watched the news this morning and had a little cry. I was reflecting on another King that I remember dying....Elvis. Two "Kings" that died way too early.



I know Jackson had some rough times but he was who he was and that's all there is to say about that, you can't argue the point. You just can't!



I am saddened that two people whom I grew up with are gone and at such a young age.

Good bye my friends.



My heart goes out to their family and friends and all the fans who feel as I do.





We have been robbed!

What are you waiting for?

GO! GO! GO SEE IT!!!

The Hangover is a hilarious movie about 4 friends going to Vegas (a.k.a. Napa Valley) for a stag.

I laughed out loud non stop in my movie seat.

Go!

GO!

What are you waiting for?

GO!!!!!

Just for YOU!

Happy Birthday Wilma!!!!

Getting outta the way

Horses have a code, or pecking order. There is the top horse all the way down to the bottom feeder.
Yesterday, I just happened to get mixed up in the pecking order.

Horses, in the fly season will also line up and one horses head faces one way and the one next to him will face the other, the reason is so that when a horse swishes his tail for flies, they also get not only their own butts, but the other horse who is standing right beside them gets their face swished as well...hope that wasn't too complicated.

Anyway, I was brushing Katie on her rump and Jay pulled up next to her, so Jay's face was by Katies rump for the tail swish...Katie did NOT want Jay standing next to her because I was there and Katie wanted all of my attention. Katie proceeded to bite Jay in the butt and Jay, who thought I was Katie, then proceeded to bite me!....now this was the question. Do I stand there and take the bite or move and let Jay bite Katie back and get kicked by Katie? I took the bite.

Jay bit me on the outside of my right thigh. I have been kicked many times, but this was my first bite.

I have a huge bruise and a hard lump in the middle of the bruise and when I walk...HOLY DINAH!


In future, I think I will take the kick.

Pet Peeve

One of my biggest pet peeves in this Border Town are drivers.

I would say the majority of drivers between 25-55 are ROAD HAZZARDS!!! Don't even get me started on the over 55's!

If a highway is marked 110 kms and you are doing 90....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD! People are leap frogging you! If the highway is marked 110kms and you are doing 130-140....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD!!! You are now leap frogging others! Can't you just do the speed limit, or can't you just go with the flow of traffic. If you are late, then YOU SHOULD OF LEFT EARLIER.......

Where did they get their license? Who gave it to them?

I am also a firm believer in people over 70, should be getting a re-test on their drivers license...in fact after 70, they should be getting re-tested every two years.

4 Way stop signs are also another bone of contention....Obviously, most of them have never lived in small town Saskatchewan or small town anywhere, where that's all they have...Berline!!!!

Or the rigs....4 huge trucks pull out on to the highway....their top speed....60! 60!...and they are all in a line so you can't pass.....once I managed to pass 3 out of the 4, the biggest truck was yet to pass....the driver, Bless him...moved over on to the side to let the 7 cars behind me plus myself, pass! Why didn't the other 3 smaller big trucks pull over! Hell, even the huge Semi drivers pull over for you! It's nuts!

Or it's two solid lines and some idiot coming towards you decides to pass and all you see are headlights coming at you!! If that doesn't make your arse tighten up a bit, then I don't know what would!

Idiots!....

It seems though, once I get started towards Battlefort people seem to get their wits about them....once I hit Toon town, all is well, and as I am driving the 8 hours to my home town...eveything seems fine. People in the larger cities are courteous and obey most rules....its just the BorderTown... where, I guess, everyone's brains have flown out the window!

I hope that doesn't happen to me!

Who knew?

NIght #1

Last night was night #1 for Farm Sitting....

No catastrophies!!

Cows good.

I went out, found the horses, brought them in and fed oats and clipped the feathers off of their feet. I then brushed everyone down and they all looked sooo shiny. All but one.

My little white mare, Tuffy is not too perky. She is really showing her age. 26 is old for a horse.
I suppose I would be showing my age too, if I were that old in horse years..which works out too...ummmm let me see....57! Ya, ok, I see her point!

She hates getting wormed....I would too. If someone came at me with a huge needle looking type thingy filled with disgusting paste (they say its apple flavoured, but it sure doesnt smell like it!) and rammed it down my yap, well, it wouldn't make me happy either. Normally I give her wormer pellets, but they didn't seem to work, SO.....tonight I have to fight with her on getting the paste into her mouth. yay.

Penny the dog helped me HAND WATER the huge a$$ed garden last night...it better rain!!!

Dear God,
Please let it rain.
Thanks,
Fairy Mae

Tonight I am planning on oh, HAND WATERING the garden again! ya, two hours of my life, I'm never gonna get back!

Dear God,
Please let it rain!
Thanks again,
Fairy Mae

Farm Sitting

Well, today is the start of an eight day farm sitting adventure!

I am at the farm looking after my horsies and the cow girls and their kids for eight days.

What do I hope to accomplish?

Well, I hope to gorge myself on fresh asparagus and chives from the garden.
I hope to get the two girls under saddle or close to it, as well as trim feet.
I hope to water the garden daily and finish planting all the flowers Grace left behind for me to do.
I hope to walk in the pasture with the horses, brushing them occasionally and talking to them non-stop with Penny the dog by my side.
I hope to lose weight and tone up while I'm out there.
I hope it rains in the evening to make the pasture a little greener.
I hope to get some computer work done in the evenings.
I hope to finish the book that I am reading!
I hope to take lots of pictures!

That's what I hope to accomplish.

Only to go back to the crappy apartment to meet up with ma and her entourage, have a few giggles and spend the days at work with ma in tow.

Ma is staying up here for the Arts Without Borders weekend in which I am in one play and directing the other!! How do I get myself in these messes! It will be a great weekend with all kinds of stuff going on.

I then hope in July to go home to see my pooch and clean barn with the cousins. If I don't start losing weight this week, then July will help for sure! I would like to be a lean machine for not only the bet with Wilma and Bruno, but for the rodeo weekend as well. I can't continue this fat jean parade!!! It's nuts already!!

The weekend and more...

I actually have the weekend off! I was supposed to go home to help Ruthie Tuesday host the Wheels and Saddles Trail ride but with her in and out of the hospital, and check ups they moved the ride to another farm...which is kinda nice..less strss for mommy and less stress for me.

My friend G-girl and I are heading tot he greenhouses tomorrow to pick up flowers, then Sunday is her birtday party bash.


I am also going to be cleaning the little craphole of an apartment up as Ruthie Tuesday and an entourage come on the 8th, but from the 1st to the 8th I am farm sitting at Grace's....so, I need to get the little place whipped up before they get there.

I have been thinking alot about moving from my little apartment. I miss my dog so much. Since the house has been put on hold with Legs, this means one more stinkin Christmas in the apartment and another year will have passed without my dog Effie. That means 5 rotten Christmas' without my dog and in that apartment.

The more I think about it the more depressed I get. Never in my wildest dreams did I think at the age of 38 I would be where I am. I hate it.

I have seriously thought of moving home. My grama's house is being rented out at the moment to another couple and eventhough they would have to find another place, I could move into it and pay oh, probably even less rent for a whole house then the shithole I'm in now. The trouble is, that I love my job here. Although, they are building a new hotel on the highway at home. But in another sense, I am really getting to know people here and I have started a new theatre group and am president of this and that...ohhhhh, I don't know.


I just really feel "stuck".

Somebody put me outta my self pitied misery.

So.....

So with all that being said on my little rant yesterday...I really can't even call it a rant...anyway...

Things went super at the committee meeting!
Our four noggins came up with some brilliant, brilliant ideas. We had some stunning comments and I think we are set to relaunch this thing!!


YAH!

Today, today is a good day. It is raining here!

We are in dire need of more moisture and by golly its doing its thing out there today.

I just.....I just don't want to see any more snow.

I have my flowers planted and my veggies in their individual little pots. I have scrubbed off the barbeque and am waiting patiently for Legs to bring me some beef. (Poor Steak is heading to the butcher next week - 14 day hang time - then bring him to the barby) YUM!

If I only knew....

So I was in the Queen City on the weekend at a meeting. It was a very frustrating, yet productive one.

Now, I am an organizer as many of my close, personal friends are, and don't get me wrong, I think the girls at the "organization" are fabulous. But after being in the office for the weekend and seeing how things are being "run", well...I was kinda shocked...I think...now my opinion only...don't anyone get their panties in a knot, but I think they have too many irons in the fire and a part time person to run the Auditorium is needed...and we get our girls back to their original job criteria.

We asked them to "pull", if you will the last minutes or any other "writings" for the committee to review so our weeekend could be faster and more productive....yah, we were told that there was no paperwork of ANY KIND!....WHAT?

No documentation that this committee even existed? Bah, you're on crack? There has to be! I was on the board the first time round and I had some documentation but not much. Where are all the minutes? Where are all the programs of previous years? Where are all the inductee bios and forms?

We were told there were none.

After seeing the state of the "office"....well, no wonder nothing could be found.

After the morning was filled with trying to remember all the events and motions that were once made...Just before dinner, I just happened to "zone out" and look behind of the members and see a cabinet with a drawer marked "Hall of Fame"....I blinked a couple of times and then finally spoke up...Guess what we found in the drawer!! Yup! Nothing.

Near the end of the day when the other two members left, Peanut and I thought we might go down to the file room...I was looking around the room commenting on that state of the office when I looked up and saw...yup, the minutes! A binder that said Hall of Fame minutes!

I'm not sure how Peanut felt at that moment, but I was pretty steamed. After all that time, all those hours, all the emails and bantering going on between us and the office staff and there in black, white and yellow were the minutes!

We did go down to the file room and wade our way through the mass amounts of scripts on the floor, file boxes, dust, dinner theatre paraphernalia, cans, bottles, everything stacked for no rhyme or reason from floor to ceiling, we found one lone box of Hall of Fame papers which we immediately took up to the office and filed into the gray drawer of the file cabinet which had our name on it.

I would absolutely donate a weekend if my time to dust, organize and help put away unwanted empty boxes, pop cans, and even in the display case where all the honoured ladies of stage were, contained screw drivers, old name plates, shot glasses....OMG Blanche!...

I just think those ladies are bogged down with too much responsibilites of running the other half of the facility.

I do love them both to death, but really...

Facebook

Ahhhh, facebook.

It really is a networking system.

I am a farm towner...I enjoy pimping myself out at the Markeplace waiting for someone to hire me to harvest their crops.

In the meantime, you strike up conversations with people from all over the world. Yes, I am a talker.

I have gabbed with people from many countries where my morning is their night and vice versa and have even practiced my Spanish on a few of them. I have what is called a buddy list and when your "crops" are ready you can hit the buddy list to see if anyone is online. I use this quite alot and have made friends with three people who I talk regualrly with. One woman who is from South Carolina, one woman from West Virgina and a man from Vancouver who is actually from a town that I used to live in...Punnichy, Saskatchewan! I was on last night and the three of us gathered at my "farm" and we all talked for over an hour! It was great! We laughed, joked and even talked about our healthcare!

Since I have been on facebook I have reconnected with many, many people that I have not heard from in years and its nice to be able to "peek in" on them and see what they are up to and how they are doing, if they are married, have a family, and so forth.

I have an eclectic group of friends and I must say that alot of them are not close friends, we are however still friends and I am grateful that I have the opportunity to get to know them all over again!!

Oh, what a time!

The long weekend was one of thee best weekends I have had in a long, long, time.

After I had the snail intervention, and released the little creatures into the slough, I headed to Wilma`s for an evening of sushi making. Yes, the art of sushi is definately something a person needs to practice...but let me tell ya, they were deeelish!

The company, although most new to me, were wonderful ladies brought together for a wonderful night of wee drinkies, food and comradery.

A few young and a few young a heart, you could tell the seasoned drinkers from the non seasoned ones! A few power naps here and there which was amusing to see....ahhhh, the good ole`days!...wait....from what I can remember sleeping around a bunch of drinkers was not the best idea!

But the night was filled with fun and laughter and really, that`s what counts!

The next day we (Puffy, Wilma and I) were off the the lake to see Bruno and his better half.

When we arrived, it was boat launch weekend. We prepped the boat to glide on to the lake, once that was done, we played poker pool, sang 80`s tunes all night and ate, drank and laughed.

The whole weekend consisted of good friends, music, food, wee drinkies, movies, pool, singing, boating, fishing, tanning! Yes, tanning! and laughs, laughs, and more laughs....AND

THE BET!

Escargot anyone?

SO now that I have most of the drama out of my life..things are slowly turning back to normal..



About 3 months ago I decided to buy a snail for my fish tank. Not thinking they are hermaphrodites, in fact never even crossed my mind until this morning.

I stopped counting at 84 snails in my fish tank.

My poor little frog can't even have any of his food because of all the prolific snails!!! Its outta control!

I have to have a snail intervention before I leave for Wilma's house today.

This is the snail that started it all! Big MOMMA Snail....

In awe.

I am absolutely flippin' wild!


Apparently, I am the cause of the two women fighting... according to the one boyfriend. This is the boyfriend who's only ever done anything once but a know-it-all about it when that particular task it done.

I had a good chat with Stifler's Mom and we are cool and has sorted out just where the problem lies. Our allegiance to each other will always be there, its the third party that was causing problems.

That's it, I wash my hands of it all.

Hmmmm....If I had just listened to the warning card!

....Wilma....

Thank you.

??? of 365

1). Weenies cooked black on the barb-q.

2). Work= paycheck

3). being able to leave work and avoiding the people I hate.

4). Calling my mommy

5). being, once again calmed down by the Cuz.

Sleeping

Today, today, I am tired. Not sleepy tired, but bone weary tired.

I am mental tired.

I am physical tired.

I am emotional tired.

Somedays, I would give my eye teeth, to just sleep and not wake up for a long, long while. Thats cryogenics, when I think about it. Maybe, I should talk to Michael Jackson about that stuff. He may have a few options for me...or maybe Walk Disney...no, wait, he's....yah, I can't talk to him....Oh, I know...Sleeping Beauty! I can....no can't talk to her either...hmmm, seems like Michael is my only option right now.

Dance moms

Dance moms are a NIGHTMARE!

My mom was a dance mom, but she was never and in-your-face nutball dance mom. I find the Dance moms here living their dream through their kids. Something they didn't have the chance to do when they were young...which, are all about my age! Yikes!

The kids are fantastic. The are polite, happy, courteous, I really have nothing bad to say about them. When they are in the back getting ready to go on stage, there is never any tom foolery. They are lined up and ready to go.

The dance moms....WHOLE nother story!

They are pushy, demanding, RUDE, and never have a smile on their face. They yell, holler, and scream. This is only my second dance season here at work.

My mom was always in the audience. She never HAD to be up front so I could see her. I knew she was there! She never meddled with the back stage people who helped us get into our costumes, and get our hair in place. She may have had my tap shoes a time or two and we had to get them from her, but she was NEVER, NEVER, rude.

I took 13 years of dance. Both Tap and Jazz and only two years of Ballet. Ballet was not my thing, nor was my body willowy and fragile!!

But in the 13 years I took dance, I was able to get my teaching certificate for level 1, which meant I could teach ther little gaffers. I didn't like the little kids, so I never taught.

I enjoyed my years of dance up until the time I was 16 when my teacher lied to me about rehearsals. She was changing dance times behind my back with the other kids in my group and secretly taking them to competition.....without me. One of the girls in my group thought that was wrong of my teacher to do and she called my mom. My mom was wild. I was very badly hurt and disappointed so mom yanked me out of year end review screwing up the dance numbers I was in and made that old bitch of a teacher have to redo the dance numbers.

I never spoke to that woman again.


But from what I have witnessed for far.......................
Dance moms.....they are crazy!

I got nothing...

I don't have 5 nice things today.

I am about ready to fly. I'm about ready to sell my things...horses included and head to California.

Grrrrrr......

Shuffle Board?

It's not very often I remember dreams but last it was so vivid.

Not only do I snore...yes I do! I can admit that, but I do drool the odd time and I also talk in my sleep. I don't think I was talking, butrather singing.

I was playing shuffle board with two other people, one was guy who I went to school with many years ago, he moved away in about grade 6 or 7 I think, and I am now facebook friends with him. There was also another guy and he went to Rocanville School. I would see him every Thursday when they were bussed to my school for Industrial Arts classes, he was also an Air Cadet that my mom had in her Squadron and am Facebook friends with him too...anyway, the three of us were playing shuffle board and whom ever had the least amount of points after each round had to go outside in the cold (it was winter and snow on the ground) and sing a song on a stage....for everyone!

I continued to lose and because I am a HUGE George Michael Fan, all I would sing were Wham! songs or George songs.

Faith was the first one I started with, then Wake me up before you Go Go, then Freedom....after that I was asked to leave the building....hell, I didn't want to be playing shuffle board anyway!

58 of 365

1). an email from Wilma

2). Home made Sour Cream Chicken Soup

3). Paying off debt on the car.

4). Going for lunch with an almost stranger (only met him once before)

5). Getting tasks completed

There were....

Well, I just spend 5 great days with theatre friends. Some of whom I have not seen in years, some a few months, some a few days.

I managed to stay with Bruno and his better half and their four legged kids. It was wonderful. It was peaceful, it was great to be able to laze around and gab without having to talk over someone, or look over someone to talk. I had my own room!

The meals were fab. The company was comforting.

The Festival was chaotic at times. The plays were fantastic. The adjudicator - maybe a little off her rocker...but then who isn't really.

There were egos to be stroked and time outs to be had.
There was dancing to be done (or the lack thereof).
There was drinking and round table discussions.
There were fashion do's and fashion dont's.
There were discussions needing to be discussed.
There were awards to be won.
There were smiles to be had and giggles with tearshed....
There were Tums and Rolaids to be consumed.
There were pokers games to be dealt with.
There was Green Room food to be fondled and mucked around with.
and let's not forget the bets....

Would you sooner bet on an Anything, a Something, or an Everything.


Would I do it again....you bet....on an Everything. Everything that I did these past 5 days, I would definately do again.

(even the kitties)

57 of 365

1). Resting

2). Managing to get out of anything bets

3). Still being able to breathe after 5 days of non-stop second hand smoke

4). drugs to breathe with

5). pasta and sauce for supper

Ghost Hunting

I watched Paranormal State last night.

It is a favourite of mine and they are putting out feelers for people to become a part of the team.

I would love to be able to join them, however, there is a catch. The catch is that you must be living in or around the state of Pennsylvania...that sucks.

I. am. nowhere near. that state!

And when I think about it, eventhough I would love to be a part of a group like that, in all honestly, if I came across some paranormal activity....I would run screaming the other way! Have in the past, would surely run in the present!

I mean take the courthouse where Wilma and Queen of Halloween live. I would love to venture around in there, but I know damn well that if I was to "run" into something I would pee myself.

Seeing the old lady when I was small and finding the pictures under the Christmas tree the year my grandfather passed, finding all the cupboard doors in the kitchen open in the mornings, the ornaments that were pushed off the piano, the painting that would "jump off" the wall, the dog barking down the hallway while no one was there, the ornament angel always doing the 360 degree turn....all those things scared the hell out of me....and then I want to join this ghost hunting group? I must be on the crack.

Well, now that I have talked it out, rationalized this on black and white....I've come to the conclusion that maybe I won't join....not this year anyway!

56 of 365

1). Waking up and finding out whats causing my asthma in the morning!! YAY!

2). Standing my ground and feeling better about it.

3). Homemade beef sausages

4). Watching the last episode of Corner Gas and not crying.

5). Getting in touch with a long lost dear friend of mine.

Packed

Well, I am in a better frame of mind. (Thanks Ladies) I am packed and ready to go see Wilma, Bruno and all the other theatre nuts.

The little smurf turd is cleaned inside and out and gassed up ready to go. The snow tires...on!

My suitcase is packed...it is extremely full. I never know what to pack. The weather is SOOOO unpredictable this time of year. Two hours ago it was raining. Maybe in another two hours it will be snowing, maybe in the morning it will be +15!

Do you pack shorts or long johns!!?
Do you pack sweaters for halter-tops!?
Do you pack rubber boots or winter boots?!
Do you pack your winter coat or your vest?!

Holy Dinah!

I took the afternoon off from work today. My head is just not there.

I am supposed to be packing for an event that I have been looking forward to attending for quite some time, but my heart is not there.

I don't want to go.

What I really want to do is something I can be arrested for.

"Serenity now, serenity now"!


Ahhhhhh, this too shall pass.

At the bottom...my playlist is empty

I have nothing nice to say. I am not a happy person. I do not have 5 nice things to say.

I am miserable.

My birthday was yesteday and it ranked right up there with the death of my grandfather, with my inital shock of my getting a divorce, and my coming to grips with the fact I will never know my father.

It's not quite a death bed moment, but it ranks right up there and it will not soon be forgotten.

I am angry, sad, humiliated, and very very hurt.

I have given Legs his last rights and have informed him that until I get an apology we are through.

a⋅pol⋅o⋅gy 
Spelled Pronunciation [uh-pol-uh-jee]
–noun, plural -gies.
1.
a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another: He demanded an apology from me for calling him a crook.
2.
a defense, excuse, or justification in speech or writing, as for a cause or doctrine.
3.
(initial capital letter, italics) a dialogue by Plato, centering on Socrates' defense before the tribunal that condemned him to death.
4.
an inferior specimen or substitute; makeshift: The tramp wore a sad apology for a hat.

Yesterday was plain and simple.....hell. It was all I could do to tough it out and not flee.

I am a fleer....is that spelled right...ya know what I don't even care.

If something goes very very wrong and I get very uncomfortable, I run.

I wanted very badly to run yesterday, but I didn't I stayed put until after supper, then thanked my hosts, which were Legs' dad and his girlfriend and Legs' sister. I then promptly gathered my stuff and got the hell outta dodge.

Even as I type this, my ETD (Essential Tremor Disorder) is kicking in and typing is brutal.

Legs humilated me the night before (on the 11th) at the supper table infront of all and all I could think of was the time Millertime (the ex), was drunk at a party and we were sitting around the fire in the backyard, and he hit me hard enough that he knocked me over and I fell over a chair and hit the ground. I got up dusted myself off and walked home. I was broken inside.

The nightmare continued the next day (on the 12th). My birthday. Yesterday, I was broken and enough was enough.

Today, I am in my own. Today, I have had a chance to think things clearly and an ultimatum was the only thing that I could think of. I can not and I will not put myself through that shit again.

Not again. My sanity depends on it.

Happy Easter

I hope you all have a very Happy Easter.
xoxo

55 of 365

1). Chocolate
2). presents from Legs
3). presents. Period.
4). Plants you kept alive through winter
5). Spring!!!

Jinxed

I think I really did it this time. I jinxed myself but good.

I got myself a credit card just in case I run into trouble.

Well, I have. My car has really been giving me a run for my money. I am seriously in the pit. I am not impressed at all. I have spend almost a couple thousand on this damn car and to think last month, I was looking at a black ford focus, fully loaded, heated leather seats, a moon roof, and sirrius radio and my payments were gonna be less then 600. SIX HUNDRED and I've spent how much on my little blue smurf turd! Heaven help me.

Can anything else possible go wrong. I am working two friggin' jobs so I can get bills paid up and there is just one thing after another!

I shoulda bought the car.

54 of 365

1). Getting ready for TheatreFest

2). b-que steak....yummmm

3). early work day

4). being in a play again

5). remembering the pleasure/nervousness of being on stage

The Building of the Vessel

Ahhh, Body Builders.

The SABBA people had their novice body building championships here in the Border Town and my employer hosted the event.

Now, that I have witnessed their rituals or rather their routines on getting buff and ready for performance day. I am happy to say that I am proud to be soft and fluffy!

I can not imagine how the loved ones of these performers put up with their "stuff", in order to get ready for these events. Many of them haven't eaten or taken in any fluids, which means they are oxygen deprived, which means some of them are not too bright, well, just not "with" it. Is this really what happens in the Body Building world? Not all of them can do that, can they? I'm guessing they all have different training schedules. I'm baffled. Great bodies, but I'm baffled.

Can't be? Anyway....

The weekend went off really well. There were many competitors and the performances were amazing.

Kudos to them, to be able to have the ability and stamina to put themselves through that.

Where to begin...

Well, first of all I am glad to be alive.....ok, so I'm exagerating a little. It was an adventure though...
Three days ago, I was startled outta my wits by a larger than normal sized coyote, who not only went after the dog who was maybe 15 feet from me, and when I realized what was going on, grabbed the pitchfork and started after the two of them, the coyote turned from the dog and started out for me!

I have never in all my farm years, ever had a run in like that before.

The dog turned back and knocked the coyote in the butt, then the two of us ganged up on the coyote, chased him back int o the bush where there was another coyote waiting. So now, it was two against two. It was truly incredible.

The dog and I managed to chase the two coyotes back on to the lake ice, we then turned back to head up to the feedlot, where we were going to continue feeding, when the big coyote turned back and started for us again. Crazy.

He followed us up to the feedlot, springing up on his back legs to watch us. He stayed put for the remainder of the time the dog, horses, cows and I were there.

I went up to the house and pulled out the 410 rifle. I went back down, cuz this time I meant business and they pair of coyotes were gone.

The rest of the two weeks I was farmsitting was unevenful....thank goodness.

I did have to spend some money on the car. I had to get a new fuel pump and was rocked by a Co-op truck and now have a spider crack on my windsheid...

And, how was your week?

53 of 365

1). two weeks of stress - gone!

2). Bologna sammies with mustard and lettuce and mayo...on WHITE!.

3). A new haircut!!

4). A great workout

5). A great cup of Java in my TheatreSask to go cup!

Weekend past

This past weekend was very stressful.

It was a dance festival this weekend and eventhough, we are adequately staffed, it could be better.

Because I am operations and promotions of this joint, I have to be here morning and night to make sure volunteer ushers, or volunteer concession show to help with our FOHouse Managers or our concession staff, and if they dont, then I have to step in. Needless to say, it was a VERY long weekend and this week is not any easier.

The good thing about it all is that I am raking in a TON of overtime! This means the summer off is looking very, very good!

This week I am farm sitting. Grace and Wilmer went to their other house in the mountains, to get it ready to the summer.

It`s nice because I can spend time with the horses and not have to worry about anyone catching me kissing their fuzzy noses, or scratching their ears while I whisper to them, or give them a smooch by the soft part of their eye and tell them that I love them.

Its nice to be able to let them hang out with me while I sit on the ground as they stand above me,(almost like they guard over me) or I will fill the trough with oats, while I have a lawn chair set up in the middle of it reading a book, while they nibble around me. They nibble over my boots, and up my leg, then nose over my lap until they hit the pages of my book. Its calming for me. I welcome it and I miss the daily doses I used to get.

Soon, I keep reminding myself.

Legs and I will have the house built by fall. Things are falling in to place by leaps and bounds since we dumped the log house idea. We had one person, then she had an episode of some sorts and then we were handed off to another person, only having to start all over again, and then in February, we were hit again with another person, who we had to start all over AGAIN with. That was the last straw.

We approached our general contractor who offered to do only the inside as he was not familiar with log houses and the chinking and all the other stuff that came with it. Since we scrapped the whole thing, he agreed to take on the house in its entirety and its now happening so fast, even Legs and I can`t keep up! It`s great!

Now, I am back from lunch, waiting for the CEO`s to arrive for this afternoons hush hush meeting with some oil company.

This evening will be a welcomed free one and you can bet, I will be outside with the horses!

52 of 365

1). Drinking water

2). Stairs at work (keeps me in shape)

3). Fried Onions with butter

4). Sitting on my unbroke 3 year old horse while she is laying down,and is trying to have a nap in the warm sun but can't cuz I'm bugging her!

5). Spending time outside in the sun with my 4 legged kids (its pure heaven)

Not much

You know, if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck.

When I think about it...I would welcome the "no luck".

This week has been crap.

I don't feel good due to these damn allergies and I just feel like if God gives me one more test, just one more stinkin' challenge, I am going to commit myself to the nearest insane asylum.



a⋅sy⋅lum 

[uh-sahy-luhm]–noun

- (esp. formerly) an institution for the maintenance and care of the mentally ill, orphans, or other persons requiring specialized assistance.

- an inviolable refuge, as formerly for criminals and debtors; sanctuary: He sought asylum in the church.

- International Law.
a.
a refuge granted an alien by a sovereign state on its own territory.
b.
a temporary refuge granted political offenders, esp. in a foreign embassy.

- any secure retreat.

51 of 365

1). Coffee (eventhough I can't drink it - I can still smell it)

2). Gin and Tonic

3). Allergy medicine

4). Easy listening CDs

5). Praise for doing a good deed

the good ol' days.

Remember Chico and the Man?

A little of this and a little of that.

Well, the car is fixed.

I am speaking to Legs again.

My allergies are outta control.
My face today feels like it is sliding off. I'm sniffling, even after I took my "nose snort" drugs.
My eyes are sore and teary, and my head is fuzzy. Drat!

On a good note, I have managed to lose 4 pounds. I am back on my protien diet. I know, I know, I still have the odd carb. No worries.

I have aerobics tonight and a birthday party to attend.

Legs and I have been invited to three weddings this year. One in June, one in July and one in August.

I am missing the one in June because I have foolishly offered to part take in a one act play and have foolishly offered my directorial skills for another. Dumb, dumb, dumb....
The play I am in is called "The Sandbox" by Edward Albee in which I will be playing "Mommy". and the other one that I am directing is a comedy.

July is the one wedding I am most looking forward to. The bride is a good friend of mine and I work with her at the hell job.

The August wedding will be an interesting one as the bridesmaids are feuding! Cracks me up.

Hopefully by then, and if Legs and I haven't killed each other by then, the house that we are planning to build will be well underway.

The blueprints are being drawn up as we speak. We initially started out with a log house, but were jacked around by the log house company for the last year and a half and we have had enough. We found ourselves a general contractor here in the Border Town and he is willing to take the project on...so now we are happy.


Things are looking up.

TheatreFest is almost here, which means I am able to take some time off from the neverending job. It feels like March is lasting FOREVER....April is going to be even worse, so the break is welcoming.

I am farm sitting this weekend, well actually for the next ten days. I am happy about that too. I will be able to spend time with my four legged kids. Maybe get in some hoof trimming, worming, and maybe even a few training sessions with the unbroke horses.
I will be able to do my homework with them too, as I have just recently started taking equine massage therapy. The last week in September is when the tests come, so I have much memorizing to do before then.

Well, updates are done, should get back to work...
We have the Ukraininan Dance Festival here at work this weekend....ugh.

Must go move some tables.