Apparently

I'm trying to stay positive...I really am.

I can't seem to catch up with this new job change paying me less...way less then before...Im not a wealthy person.  I do live from pay check to pay check and that has only been lately as I have been socking the so called extra money I get into a retirement plan...do I get kudos for that...nope.  Hell I could take it out and spend it!!
I was just offered a way better paying job, one that I will enjoy.  I asked if I could work a 10 hour shift instead.  I was told no because of the way the business and staff work and instead was offered a dollar more...who can argue with that...apparently that is not good enough for some people.  IT can't get any better than that...and I can take days off to help with another catering job that pays great too!!

Not good enough...apparently. 

What I do get is a verbal shit kicking.  Does this at all help any situation??  I think not.  Does this make me feel like "well, then what the fuck am I doing then?"...you bet.

I feel like I first got married at 19 again.  I feel like a 12 year old having to account for every penny of my allowance...did I realize that getting a divorce would leave me pretty much homeless with no place to live much less food on the table...oh, wait, what table....I didn't have that either!!  I did not ask for any of that.  Hell, I didn't even have enough money to move back home!!

What I did do was learn how to get a job, rent a one bedroom apartment, get a bed, a table and a deep freeze.  Learn how to pay a bill - because that I did not even know how to do - and because I was the one at fault for the divorce, I am still paying for it.  Oh, my GOD, I am still paying for it.

I'm not asking others to help me out.  Never did, never will.

Do not continue to badger me about my finances.  I did not lead a charmed life.  I was not taught how to budget or figure out finances properly until I was in my mid 30's and holy crap, I think I am doing pretty damn good.....others may not think so, but I am self sufficient.  I am not asking for hand outs.  I am not living at a shelter.  I can stand on my own two feet thank you.  Stop telling me what  crappy job I am doing and instead let me know how well I am doing.  I know I still have debt.  It may take me many years to get rid of it all, but it's my debt.  I don't harp about yours or anyone else's.  I don't tell you what you need or want. 

I know that difference between needs and wants.

What I want is some kind gentle advice or help, maybe a pat on the back. 
What I don't need is to be preached or bitched at about it.

No name

I've sent in my resume to I don't know how many people. My tranny on the escape has decided to give me grief - thank you warranty! My mother is having open heart surgery on what looks like now Tuesday, my horse died, and now my dog broke her leg. Is this my fault I ask?

Is any of this my fault? Bad karma maybe but never asked for. Im sick to fucking death of trying to please every one and trying to be the good guy. Im sick to death of others shit attitute. Hey, I'm just trying to get through one more fucking day. Get off my back, treat me with some respect. If I'm such a pain in the ass then let me know so I can fix that. If I'm such a miserable SOB to work with then let me know so I can fix that. If I'm such an idiot, then let me know so I can fix that..don't know if that can be fixed...? If I'm not pulling my weight or if I am being a burden then by all means, let me fix that.

The boss says Fairy, take the day off tomorrow and get your self together. Really? What more can I possible get together? No matter what I touch, no matter what I say or feel, I am falling apart and no happy pill in the world is gonna help me get back together.



I'm sick of having others have a shit day or shit news and treating me like this is all my doing. I'm sick of travelling with moody road partners, I'm sick of being told what is mine and what isn't . I'm sick, fed up and have had it. I double dog dare just one more person to make my day a disaster with their attitude or crap words. I demand respect and kindness. I want it and I want it from now on. Period.

I'm stressed out, a nervous wreck and ready to fly....so DON'T piss me off. I really, really, from the bottom of my heart, mean it.

..... and on top of it all...these feelings really scare the hell out of me.

Ranting: conversations in a group

Ive noticed a while ago that when I attend a function, a gathering, or a group large or small, that if I am not included in the conversation, I end up zoning out or walking away.

You can't be mad at me because I've done my best to fit in with a nod or a grunt...you can't fault me for zoning out or walking away...you've done nothing to me? I've done nothing to you!

So, why get annoyed with me when you don't get the answer from me you want when I have no idea what you were talking about. I may have been there in body but unless you look at me when talking to others and include me in that particular conversation, then and only then will I indulge in the gathering, group or likewise...geez

I'm getting used to not being included in conversations, gatherings and so forth...does it bother me? A little. It makes me feel invisible. It makes me feel like in not worthy of your time.
If it makes me feel like that, why stay? If it makes me feel bad about myself and makes me feel useless, why would I allow myself to stay in that situation. You don't want to talk to me and include me, thats your deal, but don't get pissy when I do it to you! Kinda hurts the soul a wee bit.

SO think about it in your next group type setting....make sure you say hi to everyone and include them in your conversation, even if you don't know their names. They are there for a reason.

Make them feel welcome too.

A sign

My Uncle Billy is not well. He has been an alcoholic all of his adult life. We knew his liver was shutting down and was to go to Regina on Monday. Yesterday however, he totally stunned us all by having a massive heart attack and is now in recovery in a coma on life support. I am on pins and needles at home waiting to hear from the majority of the family who went up this morning to get the low down from the doctor.

Last night when I went to bed, I had a rather an odd thing happen. As we all know I am a complete believer of the spirit world, have seen my fair share of ghosts, have witnesses numerous phenomenon. I was laying in bed and not quite asleep but not awake either. Not one, but both grama and grapa stood beside me last night....I knew what that meant. I asked them why they were here and both grama and grapa, grama wearing her jeans and pink sweatshirt and grapa was wearing his work pants, plaid shirt and blue ballcap, both with out stretched arms said they were ready for Bill. They had come to "take him home". I remember just laying very still in bed, hoping they would give me more. Grama smiled and said she was here to take her sick little boy home. It was his time.


That was it. Nothing more.

I am sad today because I know that he won't be coming out of his coma. I am however, content with the fact that my beloved grandparents are waiting for him.

I sit here and wait for the phone to ring. It's not quite dinner time yet and I already know the outcome.

Dealing

I'm not sure how to deal with a few things going on, I don't want to say in my life, cuz that sounds too dramatic, but my gut is telling me to be very, very careful.

I'm having a birthday party for Buster on Friday and I am going to be surrounding myself with alot of people that I personally do. not. trust.

My gut is almost in a knot and I am pretty close to being sick about it. I have all these people coming over who have not been very considerate of myself or Buster and still are called "friends" and "famliy".

They are trouble makers, two-facers, liars, and back-stabbers and I have personally got rid of those types of people in my life years ago. I try to surround myself with happy, positive and welcoming, sensitive humans.

I'm actually shaking as I type this, I have gotten myself in such a tizzy. I should know better, but because I offend easily by stupid people, I am on the defensive.

Instead, I will put on a happy face cuz it is for Buster and make the most of it. I only need to be nice, cordial, and only need to give as much as I am given.

I feel really bad that these people that are in Busters life, accept him, of at least I think they do, I have been fooled before, and I have tried to be courteous and polite and still get slapped in the face. They say they are happy for him, that he is finally happy and that I am a warm welcome, but they sure have a funny way of showing it, and Buster is caught int he middle and I hate it. I see in the future a choice may have to be made, but for now, all will be left....simmering.

Because everyone will be at my house, on my territory so to speak, I will give them one last chance. I only do this, because I do love Buster and these people have always been in his life good and bad. So, here goes....

I can not lose sleep over this......

Speaking of small town...

I actually had this weekend off!! Can you believe it? I had so much to do. I had laudry to wash, floors to sweep and mop. Bedding to be changed, beds to be made, cooking to do, a dog to be brushed, vacuuming, and a Jockey party to attend on the Sunday...which I WAS looking forward to. PLUS, my mom, aunt, cousin and her three kids are coming tomorrow.

Saturday rolled around and the morning was good with getting a few things done, that afternoon there was a slight, but fun change of plans. Kiddo came over and we watched a movie together until her grandparents came back to pick her up. When they showed up, we then went out for supper. The evening I spent watching Letters from Iwo Jima....ho hum! It was nice!

Sunday morning rolled around and because I didn't get a few things done from Saturday, that had to be done, with the intensions that if I got all I needed to do in the house done, I would go to the Jockey Party. The phone rings at 9:30 and its the hostess of the said party, Darlene. Now, I only met this woman one other time and it was for a brief 15 minutes...which was at the last home party that I attended.

The woman asked me if I ws coming to the party...hmmm, ok a check up call, ok, when I told her that I would not be able to make it, she flipped like a switch. What the Hell??

She was rude, interrogating and guilt tripping me....excuse me, if you thought that I was going to attend, you are sadly mistaken...I am not...NOW!

Why can't no, just be no? Why at 39, do I still have to explain to someone, and someone whom I do not know well at all, that I am not attending a function? If you said no to me, then that would be good enough, but to a stranger? Then she told me that her daughter would be right there to pick me up....ummmm....NO. Iwas stunned. I stuttered and stammered, not knowing what to say...

Small town mentallty, I don't know. You don't want my money, fine. You don't need it. The last home party I went to in Veg with the "wives", I was also interrogated, I can see where they women would be interested in my background, but then to start in on Buster's ex wife and him, well, I just ignored them, bought nothing and got outta there! I am guessing because they are unhappy in their home life, don't get out much but to their home parties, and have never left a town of 5800, they can't see the beyond.

All I know is, is that I have been stung twice now by this group and I don't feel like sticking around for more. I will go their family get togethers with Buster and Kiddo, but as a one on one "wives" basis, this chickie, has had enough.

Kinda scary.

HSP

For years, I have been told that I am over sensitive. That I take things too personal. That I take things to heart, that I am an overthinker. Believe me, I know this. I am fully aware of these "flaws" that I possess. This is not fun for me.

I have close family and friends that tell me this on a regular basis. I KNOW that I am over sensitive...stop reminding me. Remind yourself instead!

I sat down with someone last week. Someone that is like me. This person and I have become pretty good friends and we chat about our "flaws" quite a bit. I had a light bulb moment.

He made me realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I should recognize and embrace my personal characteristics, or my "flaws".

I recognize and am affected by a persons mood or aura, well before they even do. I recognize the slightest movements or gestures before the other person realizes they are doing it. I recognize tones in the other persons voice before they ever do. I am a highly sensitive to loud noises and startly very, very easily. I get overwhelmed very easliy and need a "time out" in order to think things over and to regroup.

People misunderstand me at times when I become quiet and withdraw. It's not that I am mad, angry or afraid. I am really just assessing the situation and deciding my next course of action and how I should handle it. Me.

I overthink a situation and then assume it is my fault, I worry. Guess that's why I have an ulcer. I work well by myself so I am not scrutinized by others. I know family and friends and yes even Buster get impatient with me, but, I already have you, all of you, figured out well before you even know you do. After these "flaws" of mine were pointed out to me and was given material to read about it, it made so much sense to me. These "flaws" really aren't a flaw at all but rather a gift that I could use to my advantage.

I am who I am. I can not change this. Try as I might. I just can't .

If you love me.
You will keep this in mind.
If you care about me.
You will have patience with me as I do with you.

Feeling the blood drain

I'm in the box office gabbing to the box office gurus and this tall man came walking up to the counter....I could feel the blood drain from my face and then felt my checks get hot...it was the flee date....

A little over 4 years ago, after I separated from Millertime and was still working at Staples, a guy came in for a desk part that broke and I set him up and ordered a new one for him. He came in a few days later (to see if the part came in, eventhough I told him it would be a couple of weeks), to see about the part and to ask me out for dinner. He was nice, clean shaven, tall, dark.

I said ok.

We went out for a couple of drinks and set up for a second date at his house. Fine.

I told my girlfriend where I would be going and when and if I wasn't at work the next day, I am dead and here is the address. She laughed and that was that.

I went over to DM's house and after supper we decided to watch a movie and have a drink. He set the movie up and wandered down the hall , leaving me there to watch the preview of the movie. I thought he went to the bathroom....about oh, maybe 10 minutes had gone by and I wondered down the hall, thinking he may have fallen in the toilet.

I saw the bathroom door open and no one was in there. I turned to the right to look in a bedroom, and there he was buck naked, laying on the bed masterbating! Needless to say, I was shocked.

I turned and ran down the hallway (which seemed like forever), grabbed my jacket, purse and keys and bombed outta there, all the while he was yelling at me to stay and help him...ummmm, I don't think so.

So today, when he sauntered up to the counter, he recognized me and got this goofy grin on his face. I could feel the blood drain from mine. I slowly backed away and once again took off for my office.

Now, he knows where I work.

Eeee, gads.

I'm not lost.

Ohhhh my oh my. Where to start.

Well, tonight is Trailer Park Boys. Actually two nights of them...yes, Bubbles, Julian and Ricky.

I can not believe how many people have never been to our theatre before. Well, really are the Trailer Park Boys really culture? I suppose they are a culture in their own right. Not my kind of culture, but never the less....we are at least bringing in a "new" people who will be seeing the theatre...thats is one bright side.

I am actially looking forward to meeting the boys because when Randy and Lahey were here for a performance, they were really quite nice men. Intelligent and knew what side of their bread was buttered. Lahey, who in real life is a Shakespearian actor, was a very brilliant man to talk to and Randy was also very intelligent, so meeting the other three out of character will be interesting I'm sure.

Other news...well I have been jetting here and there for many Arts showcases, meeting talented singers, songwriters, actors and musicians all of whom are trying to make a living in this Country. I have met many these last few weeks and the one who still is to me a fabulous singer/songwriter is Jeffrey Straker. He is truly a hard act to follow!...and he is a prairie boy!

Another person who I have befriended is a woman by the name of Karen Fawcett. She is an opera singer who is wonderful! And I don't even like opera!!

Relationship wise, well, I have been dating for three months now, not quite three, to a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and is open and honest. He tells it like it is and this is pretty good on my part. No hidden agenda. YAY! I meet his family this weekend and I am nervous. He met my two closest friends, Bruno and Wilma. He really liked them AND he really likes the theatre!! He had never attended any theatre before and now I have made him into a monster! We are attending a black tie event this weekend. The Shumka Dancers will be performing in Edmontonia and I am super excited a). that I am going and b). I am going with someone who will enjoy it as much as I!!

I am also super excited as we (Wilma, Bruno and I) are heading to Vegas in December.

After my little nerve episode, I sat down and truly thought about who my friends are and who is really no good for me. I have found that I can only be with people who love me for me. I can not change, well I can change a few things, but my "behaviours" are a learned behaviour and I can only change to my ability. I like who I am. I have finally found me.
The people who matter to me are my family, Buster the new and improved better half, and only a handful of close friends and Wilma and Bruno are two of them. Not only do I think of my family, close friends and Buster daily, but I also wonder how they are, what they are doing and so forth.

So with this new found awareness, I am really looking forward in going to Vegas with my two of my best friends. I am looking forward in going to a hot place with Buster, I am looking forward to Christmas with my family.

With 2009, The Year of Being Me almost gone. I think I have finally found me. It took me awhile but, I am still here, I am now in relatively good health, I am in a stable relationship, my friends who have helped me through this rough spot are still here - I have not scared them off!, my family is closer to me then ever and my job is soaring to new heights.

I am back on track and will be blogging, which I missed doing, on a regular basis again....

Oh, what a time!

The long weekend was one of thee best weekends I have had in a long, long, time.

After I had the snail intervention, and released the little creatures into the slough, I headed to Wilma`s for an evening of sushi making. Yes, the art of sushi is definately something a person needs to practice...but let me tell ya, they were deeelish!

The company, although most new to me, were wonderful ladies brought together for a wonderful night of wee drinkies, food and comradery.

A few young and a few young a heart, you could tell the seasoned drinkers from the non seasoned ones! A few power naps here and there which was amusing to see....ahhhh, the good ole`days!...wait....from what I can remember sleeping around a bunch of drinkers was not the best idea!

But the night was filled with fun and laughter and really, that`s what counts!

The next day we (Puffy, Wilma and I) were off the the lake to see Bruno and his better half.

When we arrived, it was boat launch weekend. We prepped the boat to glide on to the lake, once that was done, we played poker pool, sang 80`s tunes all night and ate, drank and laughed.

The whole weekend consisted of good friends, music, food, wee drinkies, movies, pool, singing, boating, fishing, tanning! Yes, tanning! and laughs, laughs, and more laughs....AND

THE BET!

Dance moms

Dance moms are a NIGHTMARE!

My mom was a dance mom, but she was never and in-your-face nutball dance mom. I find the Dance moms here living their dream through their kids. Something they didn't have the chance to do when they were young...which, are all about my age! Yikes!

The kids are fantastic. The are polite, happy, courteous, I really have nothing bad to say about them. When they are in the back getting ready to go on stage, there is never any tom foolery. They are lined up and ready to go.

The dance moms....WHOLE nother story!

They are pushy, demanding, RUDE, and never have a smile on their face. They yell, holler, and scream. This is only my second dance season here at work.

My mom was always in the audience. She never HAD to be up front so I could see her. I knew she was there! She never meddled with the back stage people who helped us get into our costumes, and get our hair in place. She may have had my tap shoes a time or two and we had to get them from her, but she was NEVER, NEVER, rude.

I took 13 years of dance. Both Tap and Jazz and only two years of Ballet. Ballet was not my thing, nor was my body willowy and fragile!!

But in the 13 years I took dance, I was able to get my teaching certificate for level 1, which meant I could teach ther little gaffers. I didn't like the little kids, so I never taught.

I enjoyed my years of dance up until the time I was 16 when my teacher lied to me about rehearsals. She was changing dance times behind my back with the other kids in my group and secretly taking them to competition.....without me. One of the girls in my group thought that was wrong of my teacher to do and she called my mom. My mom was wild. I was very badly hurt and disappointed so mom yanked me out of year end review screwing up the dance numbers I was in and made that old bitch of a teacher have to redo the dance numbers.

I never spoke to that woman again.


But from what I have witnessed for far.......................
Dance moms.....they are crazy!

There were....

Well, I just spend 5 great days with theatre friends. Some of whom I have not seen in years, some a few months, some a few days.

I managed to stay with Bruno and his better half and their four legged kids. It was wonderful. It was peaceful, it was great to be able to laze around and gab without having to talk over someone, or look over someone to talk. I had my own room!

The meals were fab. The company was comforting.

The Festival was chaotic at times. The plays were fantastic. The adjudicator - maybe a little off her rocker...but then who isn't really.

There were egos to be stroked and time outs to be had.
There was dancing to be done (or the lack thereof).
There was drinking and round table discussions.
There were fashion do's and fashion dont's.
There were discussions needing to be discussed.
There were awards to be won.
There were smiles to be had and giggles with tearshed....
There were Tums and Rolaids to be consumed.
There were pokers games to be dealt with.
There was Green Room food to be fondled and mucked around with.
and let's not forget the bets....

Would you sooner bet on an Anything, a Something, or an Everything.


Would I do it again....you bet....on an Everything. Everything that I did these past 5 days, I would definately do again.

(even the kitties)

Ghost Hunting

I watched Paranormal State last night.

It is a favourite of mine and they are putting out feelers for people to become a part of the team.

I would love to be able to join them, however, there is a catch. The catch is that you must be living in or around the state of Pennsylvania...that sucks.

I. am. nowhere near. that state!

And when I think about it, eventhough I would love to be a part of a group like that, in all honestly, if I came across some paranormal activity....I would run screaming the other way! Have in the past, would surely run in the present!

I mean take the courthouse where Wilma and Queen of Halloween live. I would love to venture around in there, but I know damn well that if I was to "run" into something I would pee myself.

Seeing the old lady when I was small and finding the pictures under the Christmas tree the year my grandfather passed, finding all the cupboard doors in the kitchen open in the mornings, the ornaments that were pushed off the piano, the painting that would "jump off" the wall, the dog barking down the hallway while no one was there, the ornament angel always doing the 360 degree turn....all those things scared the hell out of me....and then I want to join this ghost hunting group? I must be on the crack.

Well, now that I have talked it out, rationalized this on black and white....I've come to the conclusion that maybe I won't join....not this year anyway!

At the bottom...my playlist is empty

I have nothing nice to say. I am not a happy person. I do not have 5 nice things to say.

I am miserable.

My birthday was yesteday and it ranked right up there with the death of my grandfather, with my inital shock of my getting a divorce, and my coming to grips with the fact I will never know my father.

It's not quite a death bed moment, but it ranks right up there and it will not soon be forgotten.

I am angry, sad, humiliated, and very very hurt.

I have given Legs his last rights and have informed him that until I get an apology we are through.

a⋅pol⋅o⋅gy 
Spelled Pronunciation [uh-pol-uh-jee]
–noun, plural -gies.
1.
a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another: He demanded an apology from me for calling him a crook.
2.
a defense, excuse, or justification in speech or writing, as for a cause or doctrine.
3.
(initial capital letter, italics) a dialogue by Plato, centering on Socrates' defense before the tribunal that condemned him to death.
4.
an inferior specimen or substitute; makeshift: The tramp wore a sad apology for a hat.

Yesterday was plain and simple.....hell. It was all I could do to tough it out and not flee.

I am a fleer....is that spelled right...ya know what I don't even care.

If something goes very very wrong and I get very uncomfortable, I run.

I wanted very badly to run yesterday, but I didn't I stayed put until after supper, then thanked my hosts, which were Legs' dad and his girlfriend and Legs' sister. I then promptly gathered my stuff and got the hell outta dodge.

Even as I type this, my ETD (Essential Tremor Disorder) is kicking in and typing is brutal.

Legs humilated me the night before (on the 11th) at the supper table infront of all and all I could think of was the time Millertime (the ex), was drunk at a party and we were sitting around the fire in the backyard, and he hit me hard enough that he knocked me over and I fell over a chair and hit the ground. I got up dusted myself off and walked home. I was broken inside.

The nightmare continued the next day (on the 12th). My birthday. Yesterday, I was broken and enough was enough.

Today, I am in my own. Today, I have had a chance to think things clearly and an ultimatum was the only thing that I could think of. I can not and I will not put myself through that shit again.

Not again. My sanity depends on it.

Not much

You know, if it wasn't for bad luck, I would have no luck.

When I think about it...I would welcome the "no luck".

This week has been crap.

I don't feel good due to these damn allergies and I just feel like if God gives me one more test, just one more stinkin' challenge, I am going to commit myself to the nearest insane asylum.



a⋅sy⋅lum 

[uh-sahy-luhm]–noun

- (esp. formerly) an institution for the maintenance and care of the mentally ill, orphans, or other persons requiring specialized assistance.

- an inviolable refuge, as formerly for criminals and debtors; sanctuary: He sought asylum in the church.

- International Law.
a.
a refuge granted an alien by a sovereign state on its own territory.
b.
a temporary refuge granted political offenders, esp. in a foreign embassy.

- any secure retreat.

Changes.

I remember when I was about four and my mom dropped the babysitter and I off at the new Flintstones' movie at the theater uptown. I had serious abandonment issues when I was little, with "the father" dumping us and plus I was on meds that were not "meshing", so I was not only messed up emotionally, but my drugs were working against me as well.

After mom dropped us off, she had some shopping to do uptown. I knew she would be at the Co-op. The babysitter and I went in, bought tickets, sat down, and she took off her jacket and was about to take off mine, when I went into this "fit". I bolted. I ran out of the movie theater and ran, and ran. Now this is small town Saskatchewan and everybody knew everybody.

I ran, and ran scream crying down the sidewalk, screaming for my mom. My arms were outstretched in front of me and it seemed like I ran forever. My babysitter caught up with me and I was hysterical. She caught me at the corner of the 4-way stop. I remember people just staring at me like I was nuts. I was hollering for my mom and for her not to leave me.

At 37, in my head, I still feel like I am running. Scream crying with my arms out infront of me, not knowing where to go, having no idea on how to get there. I am not sure "where" is.

Lost.

I always feel lost.



I gotta make some changes 'round here.

Today is the day.

Funny

Yesterday was the day that "J" was going to have me fired.

Well.

I am still here.

"J", however, made an ass of himself infront of us all, including the board members.

He is not a happy camper today.


Awwwww.....

Its Legs' turn....

Borrowed this from Wilma, who inturn, borrowed from someone else and I thought it was cute.


1. He’s sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
House

2. You’re out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
nothing, plain Jane for him.

3. What’s one food he doesn’t like?
Onions

4. You go out to eat and have a drink. What does he order?
Double Gibson's on the rocks

5. Where did he go to high school?
St. Wallyburg, Saskatchewan

6. What size shoe does he wear?
10.5

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Guns

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Ham on white...NO MAYO!

9. What would this person eat every day if he could?
candy...any kind of candy

10. What is his favorite cereal?
Rice Krispies

11. What would he never wear?
Twenty X Jeans

12. What is his favorite sports team?
Doesn't like sports

13. Who did he vote for?
Green Party....likes to be different

14. Who is his best friend?
Dusticle

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do?
Nag

16. What is his heritage?
Kraut all the way!

17. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind of cake?
Chocolate with candies on top

18. Did he play sports in high school?
Football and Hockey

19. What could he spend hours doing?
Cleaning and adding things to his rifles

20. What is one unique talent he has?
Has bionic type strength in his arms and can lift the front end of a car. Its crazy...and really why would you do it? Guess that's why its unique!

Hearing, listening

There is a difference between hearing someone and listening to someone.

I would rather be listened to than heard.

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.

-Dr. Joyce Brothers

That's the way the day started out and continues....I hope the weekend gets better.

Wrinkles

So I am concerned.

I have very prominent wrinkles across my forehead.

I need a haircut soon.

Do I keep growing my bangs out to expose my forehead OR do I continue to cut my bangs, therefore hiding my forehead?

I am very selfconscious about my wrinkles. I hate the thought of wrinkles everywhere. I have a tattoo of horsesn running across my lower back. I must continue to exercise or the horses will be running across my butt. I have a few tattoos and I have put them specifically in places that will not sag. There are none on my chest. There are none on my belly.

But I do have wrinkles and I have considered other alternatives to get rid of them, but then I would have to continue to get these little inperfections corrected month after month.

Maybe I should get my bangs back.

And another thing....

Why can't I have the body of Angelina Jolie? or Cate Blanchett? Oh, yes, I remember....it just isn't going to happen when you wrist bone is as big as Angelina's thigh...I come from good German breeding stock...that's right, I'm built like a brick $h!t house!!!

Ah, I'm nicer anyway. I may not have their money or good looks, but I have a heart of gold.

"Never compare your inside with somebody else's outside." - Hugh McLeod.