Its been one week

I decided to take on a second job. I decided to go where I thought would be a fun kinda place to work. Turns out it was more dangerous than fun. I decided to work at a very well known monster chain - a chain Bruno boycots. I was put in the jewellry department - how hard can that be? Change watch batteries, take out links, organize the stands...blah, blah, blah...turns out last Saturday was my last. One paycheck and my letter of resignation. Last Saturday was hell. I find out that it is both the associates and the customers are not all there...when you seel the photos floating around through your personal emails of the people who shop there...believe it! An associate who worked in electronics came by my department with a little girl and a mom. They were looking for little girl socks....hmmm....if the electronic girl had looked to see that across from her department was the little girls socks none of this day would have transpired...not to mention it was double full moon night...ugh. After the two were dumped off in my department I took the two to the footwear section. I stopped with the mom to see the size of the girls feet...and in a split second from looking up to taking a step forward...BAMMMM I smacked head first into a cement pillar in the middle of the walking aisle. I bounced off of it and for the first time in my life my nose bled. Now, I don't know if the rest of you know this, but in a gigantic chain store like this one...if there is blood in the aisle...you literally have to suit up in a BIO HAZARD outfit!...there is protocol and procedure, bags and gloves, face masks and splash proof gear! I ran to the ladies filtting room with an armload of papertowel. Got myself cleaned up and headed to the office to write up an incident report. It is so crazy in that store, that when I slammed my face at 10:30am, I was back on the floor by 11:30 am with still no report done up. A black eye, a flattened nose, and a head ache from hell. I should have been sent to the hospital, I should have been sent home, instead I went back to work. By about 3:30 that afternoon, I was helping a customer pull off a bauble necklace from a stand. She was an elderly but fiesty little lady and we were talking jewellry....just then a fat woman riding a motorized cart came around the corner and ran myself and the lady right over. The lady fell onto me and the fat woman drove up my leg....there goes another incident report. I left work at 4pm. I. Was. Done. A broken nose and a black and blue leg...all in one day. Monday, I went to the doctor about my nose...he complimented my on putting it back in place...ugh. Its been one week now. My nose still hurts and my bruise is fading and my stint at the big chain is painfully over... I start my new second job this week.... Working for a master chocolatier!! I can't wait!

Five Alarm Pizza

Well, the girls here at work, plus myself decided to have the very hard left over pizza for dinner.
Gwen: "How long should I heat this for?"
Me: "Oh, about 3 minutes."

Gwen walks away in to her office leaving me, Blanche and Berline in the box office.

I am plating a piece of pizza for myself while the other two girls are on the phone.

Me: "What's Burning??"
ALL: OMG The pizza is on fire!"

I run over to the microwave, open the door only to pull out one piece of SMOKIN' pizza.

With smoke everywhere in the box office, Gwen running to grab...of all things the aerosol air freshner can, which was being sprayed by her, I am running the plate of fired up pizza to the tap to douse it with water and as for the college....well, at least the sprinklers didn't go off....only the fire alarms!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Well, needless to say, we cleared the college....What day is it again?

Two signs

Well, I just got off the phone with Angle and she is all freaked out.

I finally broke down and told mom about my vision. After she hung up from me on the phone they all asked her why she was crying and she told them that I saw grama and grapa. Angle spoke up and said, that she saw them too. Mom never told Angle what I said to her and told Angle to call me right away.

Grama and grapa told her too that they were here to take home their sick little boy and they too had their arms held out. I could hear mom in the background crying.

They were so real, I mean they looked so solid to me...and to Ang.

They were both smiling and they both told us the same thing.

That's pretty cool in my books.

I feel better that she too saw them.

I feel better that they really are waiting for him.

It's now only a matter of time before Uncle Billy leaves us free of pain and hurt and heads toward Grama and Grapa waiting for him on the other side.

A sign

My Uncle Billy is not well. He has been an alcoholic all of his adult life. We knew his liver was shutting down and was to go to Regina on Monday. Yesterday however, he totally stunned us all by having a massive heart attack and is now in recovery in a coma on life support. I am on pins and needles at home waiting to hear from the majority of the family who went up this morning to get the low down from the doctor.

Last night when I went to bed, I had a rather an odd thing happen. As we all know I am a complete believer of the spirit world, have seen my fair share of ghosts, have witnesses numerous phenomenon. I was laying in bed and not quite asleep but not awake either. Not one, but both grama and grapa stood beside me last night....I knew what that meant. I asked them why they were here and both grama and grapa, grama wearing her jeans and pink sweatshirt and grapa was wearing his work pants, plaid shirt and blue ballcap, both with out stretched arms said they were ready for Bill. They had come to "take him home". I remember just laying very still in bed, hoping they would give me more. Grama smiled and said she was here to take her sick little boy home. It was his time.


That was it. Nothing more.

I am sad today because I know that he won't be coming out of his coma. I am however, content with the fact that my beloved grandparents are waiting for him.

I sit here and wait for the phone to ring. It's not quite dinner time yet and I already know the outcome.

Two weeks

Well, I just nicely got back from two weeks of holidays.

Buster, Kiddo and I headed to the mountains. This was a new thing for all of us. Our first holiday together...all three of us....together.....

We survived....Buster and his lack of communication, Kiddo and her non listening skills and me, the basket case!

We got it all ironed out and it was fabulous. I am looking forward to another adventure - minus the in law drama, their camper, their truck and their bullshit in general. We learned a lesson that we will never, never borrow anything of theirs again and actually realized that in the long run it would have been cheaper to rent a cabin with a kichenette and so forth. I did however take some fantastic pictures.

This past week I spent at the farm.
I have an uncle that is dying from alcoholism....everything is shutting down and it will be only a matter of time before I attend his funeral. In the meantime, he has three children which eventually lost contact with him because of his drinking, he preferred the bottle over his kids. One however, came home this past week to mend fences with the whole family. She brought her two kids and camped out at the farm and we had a great time. She decided that she would go in and visit her dad/my uncle. When we first walked in he didn't know her. He has had no contact with her for over 25 years....but when she told him who he was...well, the water works kicked in and it made a dying man very happy.

The last few days at the farm were very trying for me. Angle and her husband Lorne with three kids also camped out at the farm. He had a temper tantrum many times throughout the week and all those times I kept my mouth shut. The day before I went home was the day the shit finally hit the fan. He threw his last one around me. I said two words to the lot of them and they packed up and left. He was whining because he wanted to go to the lake and there was too much to do at the farm due to rain two days before. There was about 1/2 mile of fence that needed tending too and he just didn't want to be there so he made life miserable. I put my hammer down and told them all to "go". The second time I said it, tears were then streaming down my face and they then left.

This left my mom, who is 70 and my self to build and fix a fence. We worked from 10am and got into the house a little after 7pm. Of course, Angle called her mommy, who then called my mommy, who then proceeded to tell me to calm down and talk to Angle...well, I just wasn't ready to hear the sob story and the excuses....now, because I allowed myself to be mad, I am the bad guy. because I am not ready to listen to the bullshit, I am the bad guy. These past few days after pounding with the sledge over 25 fence posts and putting up a millions miles of barbed wire, page wire and pounding in staples...I am not quite ready to talk to anyone yet. My hands are still swollen and thank heaven I have a tetnus shot!

These two weeks of holidays were very eventful.....

Can't wait til next year!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Awwwww.....

So, I was complaining to Buster how he never gets me anything and it's time that he got me a present!

He did!!!!!

Two tickets to Bon Jovi and Kid Rock!!


WOOHOO!!!!


Should I dress back in the 80's to go to this with the high bang hair or should I just go "in the now"?


Thank you Buster!!!!
It's a great present!!!!

Well where do I start....

The weekend was full of....full of....ummmm. Huh, where do I start....let's start with Friday night.

Buster's mom gave me two free tickets that she won to the H2 Rodeo. Im not a big rodeo fan but like the beer gardens. Way more action in there than in the arena!

Once I got home Friday from work, I was gonna sit on the couch and watch the boob tube. I then texted Buster to see what he was doing and told him I was pondering about going to the rodeo to hook up with the Desperate Housewives of Veg. He encouraged me to go, so I did.

I drove out to H2 and stumbled around trying to find the DHV. There they were. A white truck was backed up, with the tail gate open. I know a tail gate party when I see one. So I walked up, said hi and just stood there. I'd say there was about 20 people around it, only three women that I knew. The three said hi, the one came and asked if I wanted to get a beer with her so away we went.

When we got back, the rodeo was over and the women were gathering things up and they all hopped in the truck leaving me and the other gal standing there. The truck stopped and Poverty opened the door and asked if T wanted a ride over to their camp....ummmm.....I was with T. They only asked T if she wanted a ride.....ummmm...can I come to?

Ok, so mood set. I knew where I stood. T told them that she would walk with me over to the camp site.

Now, really, do you think for one minute, I want to go over there and stay and partay?

So, let's recap.
1). Invited to a DHV candle/Arbonne/food/Jockey party and dissedby Arbonne lady.
2). Thinking about making good, deciding to host a party by inviting all - no one showed.
3). Getting a call from T's mom and giving me hell for not going to her jockey/candle party.
and now
4). Not being asked if I wanted to go to the campsite with them...

Am I being too black and white here?

I just don't think I fit in with these women. I really don't and I feel bad cuz Buster is friends with their husbands, but I just don't think like they do.

SO, I walked with T to the said campsite and the same 20 people were there and when I was done looking at my surroundings, I found that I was standing alone. Everyone was on one side and I, just I on the other. I felt like that out cast little kid in grade one that nobody liked. No one introduced themselves to me and when I approached them, I tried to introduce myself but that fell on deaf ears....I walked away...I left.

I felt like I was intruding.

I then told T that I was heading home and would come on Saturday night....I never went and on my facebook wall, Poverty asked where I was on Saturday and I felt like saying "who cares".

Saturday, I went to a Theatre meeting in Edmonton.
The meeting went fine until the end of it when I had to leave Edmonton.

I got lost.

I called Buster and he and his room mate talked me out of there. I was pissed off, nervous and hungry by the time I got home.

I got home about 7:30 and decided to go for the mail.

What I got in the mail was a bill from the phone company for a line that was dug on my ex's family farm...yup. I got the bill.

I don't even live there AND it was just dug this past month! We split officially in August 09 but were done wwwway before that.

Sunday, was a day of rest.

Today - Monday, I called the phone company, my lawyer, and the ex.

Now, let's see what happens.


Happy Monday to you!

The Diva and Jann

One of my good friends here in the Border Town is an avid tweeter and she follows Jann Arden. She was on Jann's twitter account and replied to a statement Jann made....they tweeted and Jann asked if she could phone the Diva to chat...be damned! Jann called The Diva and she will be airing on Jann's CBC radio talk show on July 3rd!!

Way to go Diva!!!

Our first....

Here he is...our first baby this year.

Obie!

His name is Obie for two reasons....
1). This year we are on the "o"s which means we have been breeding horses for 15 plus years. and this is the year of the "O".
2). He is named Obie after my grandfather. Our last name is Obal and when grapa was in the Canadian Army - Drill Sgt....Obie was grapas nickname.

According to Ma Kettle he is pretty sweet and very tame. Can't wait to meet him on May long weekend!




I also got news that three of my beloved horses are not well. This baffles me as they were healthy as horses...if you pardon the pun, when I dropped them off at mom's last fall.

My boy, Bosley has string halt and my other two older mares are down on weight and if they don't pick up soon on the oats, oil and beet pulp, I will have to make some very, very tough decisions. Decisions that I am not ready for yet.

Bosley has been with me since he was two and is now in his late twenties. We have been to many, many horse shows, winning left, right and center. Jeannie has back and hip problems and is in her early twenties. She too, is a show horse. She has taken me to many a championship as well. I broke her as a two year old for a neighbour and after I spent a month with her, he then sold her, I found out to who (now I know why she has back and hip problems) and about 5 years later was able to buy her back and she has been with me ever since. Tuffy is in her early thirties and has been with us for many years. We bought her from the States...Montana, I do believe....she is my mom's trail horse and has given us many a foal and many years of pleasure in the bush and along the creek.

My heart aches thinking about the future deeds. I am heading home May long weekend and with the Equine Massage Therapy under my belt, I am hoping to help them all out. Doing this type of work in the winter is useless. The cold just makes them tense up again and makes things worse. Best just to leave well enough alone til it warms up.

My horses are my best friends. They have helped me overcome sadness. They have brought me hours and hours of enjoyment, happiness and laughter. I trust them with my life. I honestly can't say that about people. Mind you, horses I can read better than anything. People...not so much!

I can't imagine my life without those four legged creatures.

Can't imagine at all.

Mmmmm Bop - Brain song

The other day while I ws driving to work....1.5 hours one way...and I like the drive. I was thinking to myself....as I often do!

I would really like to hear Roger Miller sing Pendulum Swings...I had the urge to flip the station and holy crap! The song was playing.

Yesterday morning, I thought I would try it again. Mmmm Bop of all songs popped into my head and I turned the radio on and I scared myself...it ws playing.

Last night on the ride home, I thought I would get a chuckle and turn to Blue Collar Radio. Ron White would really pick me up. Good grief! He was on the radio talking about Marriage.

Three times it's happened.

The volume hasnt turned up on its own for quite some time now but I thought it was kinda cool how a song pops into mythoughts and be damned if it isn't on playing.

I am gonna try it again tonight when I head home from work...see what happens.

Weird!

HSP

For years, I have been told that I am over sensitive. That I take things too personal. That I take things to heart, that I am an overthinker. Believe me, I know this. I am fully aware of these "flaws" that I possess. This is not fun for me.

I have close family and friends that tell me this on a regular basis. I KNOW that I am over sensitive...stop reminding me. Remind yourself instead!

I sat down with someone last week. Someone that is like me. This person and I have become pretty good friends and we chat about our "flaws" quite a bit. I had a light bulb moment.

He made me realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I should recognize and embrace my personal characteristics, or my "flaws".

I recognize and am affected by a persons mood or aura, well before they even do. I recognize the slightest movements or gestures before the other person realizes they are doing it. I recognize tones in the other persons voice before they ever do. I am a highly sensitive to loud noises and startly very, very easily. I get overwhelmed very easliy and need a "time out" in order to think things over and to regroup.

People misunderstand me at times when I become quiet and withdraw. It's not that I am mad, angry or afraid. I am really just assessing the situation and deciding my next course of action and how I should handle it. Me.

I overthink a situation and then assume it is my fault, I worry. Guess that's why I have an ulcer. I work well by myself so I am not scrutinized by others. I know family and friends and yes even Buster get impatient with me, but, I already have you, all of you, figured out well before you even know you do. After these "flaws" of mine were pointed out to me and was given material to read about it, it made so much sense to me. These "flaws" really aren't a flaw at all but rather a gift that I could use to my advantage.

I am who I am. I can not change this. Try as I might. I just can't .

If you love me.
You will keep this in mind.
If you care about me.
You will have patience with me as I do with you.

Drama and Soup

Had a wee bit of drama at the hell job yesterday. It seems that the company changed the policy on part time workers...which includes me, that if you don't work more than two days in a row, you don't get your staff discount. My lovely manager made it so that I would work every second day last month, which in retrospect I should have know this was coming and then this month got one day.

Crock! You bet.

I had a few words with the district manager, told her I was tired of being the nice guy and we all know where they end up! and told her I was stooping to her and the managers level and quit. Told them to find someone from now on who will drop what they are doing at work to go help out at the second job when they are a man down. Yup! I used to do that.

I'm not angry but disappointed yet again in the manager anddistrict manager. Why can't they grow up?

Anyway, I no longer have to worry about it and actually feel a weight lift off my shoulders.

Today, I have been asked to be a soup judge here at the college. I am looking forward to it since I am an awseom soup maker myself.

I have my mom and grama to thank for that!

I was told to have no breakfast and to bring my appetite which is exactly what I am going to do!

Gold 4 Cash - CROOKS!

I decided to send in my engagement ring and band to Gold 4 Cash. I took them in to Peoples to get them appraised and they were worth over $2200.00

I emailed this company for the package AND you have the option of sending $10 in the package if you want them to call you with a quote. If you don't like what they quote you, then they will send your gold back to you. I didn't bother with this option because I thought if they send me even $500 I would be happy.....they sent me $100.00 cheque!!! I was stunned AND in the memo it read "scrap". I was sick.

I immediately called them and asked them WTF? The dude on the phone told me that they are a scrap metal company and I was lucky to get the 100.00! I offered to send the cheque back to them and/or tear it up and would they send my rings back to me and I would pay for it. NOPE! Not an option. Did I mention I am just sick about this.....

Yup, another learning curve in life, if it sounds to good to be true, just keep walkin' cuz it is!

So, if you plan on using this company in the future...DO NOT. You would be better off to go to your local pawn shop to hawk your valuables because this company, this Gold4Cash Company, they are nothing but crooks, and con artists!

$1800.00 back....my ass!

Why, I ask Why?

I was working at the hell job all weekend and we have a "new" girl that just started....



She is a different sort and thats all I will say. I have never worked with someone quite like her before....



Yesterday, she was in the back and I walked through the door and she is sitting on a chair shaking and a single tear rolled down her pudgy face. I asked what is wrong? Kinda shocked, kinda interested....the nosy part of me. She told me she was sick! That she just threw up in the bathroom and doesn't know if she can stay....what the....!



SICK!!! What the H-E-double hockey sticks are you doing at work infecting all the others! GET HOME!



Today, today, I am sick. I have the flu. Am I impressed.....no.



Why do you come to work when you know you are sick? Why must you infect others with your illness? I just don't understand?



Stay home! Be sick there....I don't want your nasty flu bug!....the one that I have NOW!!



Little bitter! YES!



Get a grip Fairy....



I will say that I do get the odd...ok, I get lots of migraines, but I know where that comes from and its inherited...thanks Grama!





If you are sick....for the love of all things, stay home and let the rest of us be healthy!

Pet Peeve

One of my biggest pet peeves in this Border Town are drivers.

I would say the majority of drivers between 25-55 are ROAD HAZZARDS!!! Don't even get me started on the over 55's!

If a highway is marked 110 kms and you are doing 90....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD! People are leap frogging you! If the highway is marked 110kms and you are doing 130-140....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD!!! You are now leap frogging others! Can't you just do the speed limit, or can't you just go with the flow of traffic. If you are late, then YOU SHOULD OF LEFT EARLIER.......

Where did they get their license? Who gave it to them?

I am also a firm believer in people over 70, should be getting a re-test on their drivers license...in fact after 70, they should be getting re-tested every two years.

4 Way stop signs are also another bone of contention....Obviously, most of them have never lived in small town Saskatchewan or small town anywhere, where that's all they have...Berline!!!!

Or the rigs....4 huge trucks pull out on to the highway....their top speed....60! 60!...and they are all in a line so you can't pass.....once I managed to pass 3 out of the 4, the biggest truck was yet to pass....the driver, Bless him...moved over on to the side to let the 7 cars behind me plus myself, pass! Why didn't the other 3 smaller big trucks pull over! Hell, even the huge Semi drivers pull over for you! It's nuts!

Or it's two solid lines and some idiot coming towards you decides to pass and all you see are headlights coming at you!! If that doesn't make your arse tighten up a bit, then I don't know what would!

Idiots!....

It seems though, once I get started towards Battlefort people seem to get their wits about them....once I hit Toon town, all is well, and as I am driving the 8 hours to my home town...eveything seems fine. People in the larger cities are courteous and obey most rules....its just the BorderTown... where, I guess, everyone's brains have flown out the window!

I hope that doesn't happen to me!

Who knew?

Oh, what a time!

The long weekend was one of thee best weekends I have had in a long, long, time.

After I had the snail intervention, and released the little creatures into the slough, I headed to Wilma`s for an evening of sushi making. Yes, the art of sushi is definately something a person needs to practice...but let me tell ya, they were deeelish!

The company, although most new to me, were wonderful ladies brought together for a wonderful night of wee drinkies, food and comradery.

A few young and a few young a heart, you could tell the seasoned drinkers from the non seasoned ones! A few power naps here and there which was amusing to see....ahhhh, the good ole`days!...wait....from what I can remember sleeping around a bunch of drinkers was not the best idea!

But the night was filled with fun and laughter and really, that`s what counts!

The next day we (Puffy, Wilma and I) were off the the lake to see Bruno and his better half.

When we arrived, it was boat launch weekend. We prepped the boat to glide on to the lake, once that was done, we played poker pool, sang 80`s tunes all night and ate, drank and laughed.

The whole weekend consisted of good friends, music, food, wee drinkies, movies, pool, singing, boating, fishing, tanning! Yes, tanning! and laughs, laughs, and more laughs....AND

THE BET!

In awe.

I am absolutely flippin' wild!


Apparently, I am the cause of the two women fighting... according to the one boyfriend. This is the boyfriend who's only ever done anything once but a know-it-all about it when that particular task it done.

I had a good chat with Stifler's Mom and we are cool and has sorted out just where the problem lies. Our allegiance to each other will always be there, its the third party that was causing problems.

That's it, I wash my hands of it all.

Hmmmm....If I had just listened to the warning card!

Shuffle Board?

It's not very often I remember dreams but last it was so vivid.

Not only do I snore...yes I do! I can admit that, but I do drool the odd time and I also talk in my sleep. I don't think I was talking, butrather singing.

I was playing shuffle board with two other people, one was guy who I went to school with many years ago, he moved away in about grade 6 or 7 I think, and I am now facebook friends with him. There was also another guy and he went to Rocanville School. I would see him every Thursday when they were bussed to my school for Industrial Arts classes, he was also an Air Cadet that my mom had in her Squadron and am Facebook friends with him too...anyway, the three of us were playing shuffle board and whom ever had the least amount of points after each round had to go outside in the cold (it was winter and snow on the ground) and sing a song on a stage....for everyone!

I continued to lose and because I am a HUGE George Michael Fan, all I would sing were Wham! songs or George songs.

Faith was the first one I started with, then Wake me up before you Go Go, then Freedom....after that I was asked to leave the building....hell, I didn't want to be playing shuffle board anyway!

Ghost Hunting

I watched Paranormal State last night.

It is a favourite of mine and they are putting out feelers for people to become a part of the team.

I would love to be able to join them, however, there is a catch. The catch is that you must be living in or around the state of Pennsylvania...that sucks.

I. am. nowhere near. that state!

And when I think about it, eventhough I would love to be a part of a group like that, in all honestly, if I came across some paranormal activity....I would run screaming the other way! Have in the past, would surely run in the present!

I mean take the courthouse where Wilma and Queen of Halloween live. I would love to venture around in there, but I know damn well that if I was to "run" into something I would pee myself.

Seeing the old lady when I was small and finding the pictures under the Christmas tree the year my grandfather passed, finding all the cupboard doors in the kitchen open in the mornings, the ornaments that were pushed off the piano, the painting that would "jump off" the wall, the dog barking down the hallway while no one was there, the ornament angel always doing the 360 degree turn....all those things scared the hell out of me....and then I want to join this ghost hunting group? I must be on the crack.

Well, now that I have talked it out, rationalized this on black and white....I've come to the conclusion that maybe I won't join....not this year anyway!

At the bottom...my playlist is empty

I have nothing nice to say. I am not a happy person. I do not have 5 nice things to say.

I am miserable.

My birthday was yesteday and it ranked right up there with the death of my grandfather, with my inital shock of my getting a divorce, and my coming to grips with the fact I will never know my father.

It's not quite a death bed moment, but it ranks right up there and it will not soon be forgotten.

I am angry, sad, humiliated, and very very hurt.

I have given Legs his last rights and have informed him that until I get an apology we are through.

a⋅pol⋅o⋅gy 
Spelled Pronunciation [uh-pol-uh-jee]
–noun, plural -gies.
1.
a written or spoken expression of one's regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another: He demanded an apology from me for calling him a crook.
2.
a defense, excuse, or justification in speech or writing, as for a cause or doctrine.
3.
(initial capital letter, italics) a dialogue by Plato, centering on Socrates' defense before the tribunal that condemned him to death.
4.
an inferior specimen or substitute; makeshift: The tramp wore a sad apology for a hat.

Yesterday was plain and simple.....hell. It was all I could do to tough it out and not flee.

I am a fleer....is that spelled right...ya know what I don't even care.

If something goes very very wrong and I get very uncomfortable, I run.

I wanted very badly to run yesterday, but I didn't I stayed put until after supper, then thanked my hosts, which were Legs' dad and his girlfriend and Legs' sister. I then promptly gathered my stuff and got the hell outta dodge.

Even as I type this, my ETD (Essential Tremor Disorder) is kicking in and typing is brutal.

Legs humilated me the night before (on the 11th) at the supper table infront of all and all I could think of was the time Millertime (the ex), was drunk at a party and we were sitting around the fire in the backyard, and he hit me hard enough that he knocked me over and I fell over a chair and hit the ground. I got up dusted myself off and walked home. I was broken inside.

The nightmare continued the next day (on the 12th). My birthday. Yesterday, I was broken and enough was enough.

Today, I am in my own. Today, I have had a chance to think things clearly and an ultimatum was the only thing that I could think of. I can not and I will not put myself through that shit again.

Not again. My sanity depends on it.