I AM ALIVE!!

I am alive...I really am...really!
Since my last good grief post...I quit at the newspaper...$7.92/hour.  Heavens, I was going backwards again.  I am at a new job which I love.  I work for a chef/chocolatier in a dessert shoppe.  I am the front end manager/bulldog and I could'nt be happier.

I got married in July to Buster Brown and have it pretty damn good.

I joined a reletively new company - 3 years old- a jewelry company.  Stella & Dot.  Its higher end boutique style jewelry that has .925 silver, 14-18k gold plating, uses real stones, pearls and other metals.  I now have 2 stylists under me and things are really running along. 

I am also about to open a few new doors in the community too.  I am founding an Arts Council and resurrecting the community theatre.  I have the ball rolling already for the Arts Council and once that gets up and running then I will get cracking with the theatre. 

 I am about to head to the BIG city on Sunday for 3 days with 4 of my cousins.  I plan to relax, have a few drinks and lots of laughs.  While we are there, I am planning to go to the Poshy Hotel for food and drinks as I have been getting to know the chefs there through my work.  Not sure what they have in store for us but...it should be good!

Something's Got to Give....

My days turn into evenings here at work...there has been a new GM, but nothing seems to be changing.

I'm burnt out, grouchy and have started to look for other job opportunities...it makes me so sad because I really do love my job. Last night I had yet another childhood dream fulfilled and knowing that this may never happen any more literally breaks my heart.

The GM is here, but seems to not be able to stand her ground in rule changes around here. She wants to impliment them but with such a strong presence around us, it seems like the light at the end of the tunnel grows farther and farther away. I am not sure how much more of these long, long days I can put in mentally and I know the new GM, won't stand for it. My worries are now that we seem to be at a stand still, she will quit.

I have my performance review on Monday and I am skeptical at this point that there will be changes. The GM knows where I am coming from but if I don't see changes to my work schedule and a raise then I really will have to put my nose to the grind and find another job...and that, I am not looking forward to.

Ugh.

WOW!

Ok, so the Paw is officially and painfully over. The next play to be pulled off is this weekend at the seniors centre..."On Golden Pond".

I just came back from yet another year of theatre. The One act Festival called TheatreOne was held in Melfort over the weekend. 9 plays over 3 days. It was a great little mini vacation. I was able to stay with Peanut all weekend and was also able to hang out with Dave & Moe as well. The only thing that I had a wee bit of a problem with, well two problems really, was that I had a shadow who followed me most places...and the other was taht I didn't get to see a whole lot of Wilma.

I was also a little perturbed about a few things along the way as well, but this too shall pass. The great thing about is, that I only see some of these people once a year and I am not married to them which is even better, so once is enough.

There is one person there that is really starting to rub me the wrong way. He is a smart ass 24/7 and has really only stupid stories to tell. I never know if he is really serious about topics he talks about...is his home life really that bad that he has to cover as a smart ass all the time? Im not sure, but the less I ran into him over the weekend the happier I was.

Peanut and I did manage to smooze a few wee drinkies out of 4 hockey players while in the hot tub and was quite happy when it was time to get out.

All in all though, it was a fab weekend and this December its going to be Christmas at my house with Peanut and Wilma...I can't wait!

WOW!!!!
My two best friends in the world are comin!

Rocky's Paw

Well, the time is getting closer for the RHPS Party here at work. I thought that I would be able to enjoy watching it, but have ended up choreographing the time warp, running on and off stage with props and doing floor show make up.

Its been a pretty good time so far. the nights however, for rehearsal have been very late ending and I'm finding my butt is starting to drag...
The Paw rehearsal's have been very disappointing for me. The actor's are great, its the people who feel the need to give me their two cents that are driving me to the boiling point. I have the set designer who natters at me the whole time, and the lights man!! The lights man? Why is he not up in the booth? Ugh. Final rehearsal is on Tuesday and the law will be once again laid. All we can do now is go up!

This next weekend is one act festival and I can not wait for it. I have a travelling companion with me, so it won't seem like such a long drive!

This weekend will be full of tricks and treats.....hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Great day

So Buster and I headed to Edmontonius to attend an Adult trade show. We weren't sure what we were getting ourselves into but once Buster paid our entry fee, we were pleasantly surprised by all the booths, shows, chocolate!, and dildos!

There were booths from hot tubs, to blow up dolls, to lube, to a porn star autograph signing, to cars, to you name it, it was there.

It was one of the best days that I have spent with Buster.

After we saw all we saw!, we then headed to an electronics store and picked up a HUGE tv, headed over to a great restaurant and ended the night with installing the tv while eating an ice cream treat from dairy queen!!

It truly was a fab day.

Buster has since headed back up north to work. He has been home the last almost 3 weeks getting the harvest off. Its been so nice to have him home every night.
He makes me laugh, smile and he makes me very happy.

When he returns home, Kiddo will be here too which will be fantastic as it will be Halloween. Halloween is one of my absolute favourite days. I love decorating the house, carving the pumpkins and handing out treats to kids. With Kiddo being here, it will make it all that more exciting! Kiddo has decided to dress up as a brown cow this year...this makes me giggle. She has this infectious laugh and great smile that lights up the room. I cant wait to see her in it.

Rant - Intuition

Today, I am heading out with 5 other strangers to a Leadership Sypmosium. I know only 2 out of the 5. Does that mean I should not go?

I am on Twitter and have 71 people following me...I maybe know 3, I don't know the rest....does this mean I should cancel my account since I don't know the other 68 people?

I am on Blogger and have some beloved blogger friends and have not met many of you face to face, should I block you from reading my blogs? HELL NO!

Which leads me to facebook.
I am the creator or 4 pages and have over 3 hundred friends. Some acquaintances, some co-workers and some game players...some I do not know. Being the creator of 4 pages with over 6 hundred people on all four of them, some I do not know, does this mean that I make them not like the page cuz of my profile on it?

If you don't like that new people come into my life everyday, then I guess I better stay home this week and not get into a car with 5 other people. I guess I better tell my boss that I can't run 4 pages anymore and that I better stay in the house with the blinds closed and the car in the garage.

My other point is this.

I have a really good gut intuition. If my gut is telling me to run!, I run! If my gut is telling me these are good people, then they are good people.

Two people made me feel really bad about myself last night and when I defended myself and gave examples to both of them about what they do on these social networks, that what they do is essentially the same thing, this conversation made all these horrible feelings come back. Feelings that I swore I would never have again in my lifetime.

Im really hurt, that these two people, have the gall to tell me what is right and what is wrong when they have no room to talk.

I had these garbage feelings come back, the ones that landed me at the farm for a week, seeing a doctor who had to prescribe me happy pills so I wouldn't jump off the bridge.

How dare you make me feel that way!

If you don't like what I am doing then you can "de-friend, de-follow, and de-blog" me! I am doing nothing wrong. Nothing!

So, get off my back, take a look at yourself. You are no different then I am.

Get a grip!

Two signs

Well, I just got off the phone with Angle and she is all freaked out.

I finally broke down and told mom about my vision. After she hung up from me on the phone they all asked her why she was crying and she told them that I saw grama and grapa. Angle spoke up and said, that she saw them too. Mom never told Angle what I said to her and told Angle to call me right away.

Grama and grapa told her too that they were here to take home their sick little boy and they too had their arms held out. I could hear mom in the background crying.

They were so real, I mean they looked so solid to me...and to Ang.

They were both smiling and they both told us the same thing.

That's pretty cool in my books.

I feel better that she too saw them.

I feel better that they really are waiting for him.

It's now only a matter of time before Uncle Billy leaves us free of pain and hurt and heads toward Grama and Grapa waiting for him on the other side.

Two weeks

Well, I just nicely got back from two weeks of holidays.

Buster, Kiddo and I headed to the mountains. This was a new thing for all of us. Our first holiday together...all three of us....together.....

We survived....Buster and his lack of communication, Kiddo and her non listening skills and me, the basket case!

We got it all ironed out and it was fabulous. I am looking forward to another adventure - minus the in law drama, their camper, their truck and their bullshit in general. We learned a lesson that we will never, never borrow anything of theirs again and actually realized that in the long run it would have been cheaper to rent a cabin with a kichenette and so forth. I did however take some fantastic pictures.

This past week I spent at the farm.
I have an uncle that is dying from alcoholism....everything is shutting down and it will be only a matter of time before I attend his funeral. In the meantime, he has three children which eventually lost contact with him because of his drinking, he preferred the bottle over his kids. One however, came home this past week to mend fences with the whole family. She brought her two kids and camped out at the farm and we had a great time. She decided that she would go in and visit her dad/my uncle. When we first walked in he didn't know her. He has had no contact with her for over 25 years....but when she told him who he was...well, the water works kicked in and it made a dying man very happy.

The last few days at the farm were very trying for me. Angle and her husband Lorne with three kids also camped out at the farm. He had a temper tantrum many times throughout the week and all those times I kept my mouth shut. The day before I went home was the day the shit finally hit the fan. He threw his last one around me. I said two words to the lot of them and they packed up and left. He was whining because he wanted to go to the lake and there was too much to do at the farm due to rain two days before. There was about 1/2 mile of fence that needed tending too and he just didn't want to be there so he made life miserable. I put my hammer down and told them all to "go". The second time I said it, tears were then streaming down my face and they then left.

This left my mom, who is 70 and my self to build and fix a fence. We worked from 10am and got into the house a little after 7pm. Of course, Angle called her mommy, who then called my mommy, who then proceeded to tell me to calm down and talk to Angle...well, I just wasn't ready to hear the sob story and the excuses....now, because I allowed myself to be mad, I am the bad guy. because I am not ready to listen to the bullshit, I am the bad guy. These past few days after pounding with the sledge over 25 fence posts and putting up a millions miles of barbed wire, page wire and pounding in staples...I am not quite ready to talk to anyone yet. My hands are still swollen and thank heaven I have a tetnus shot!

These two weeks of holidays were very eventful.....

Can't wait til next year!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

Rock Star Hair

Getting ready for the Rock Concert!!
HA!
I got up this morning and half did my hair...just enough to get me to work, then when I go home this afternoon, I can finish it off forthat Rock Star look.

I was talking with my co-workers telling them about this concert and where it was. They started laughing.

Apparently, the concert is outdoors......SO.

This changes things. Eventhough, it is July, the weather here is rain. rain, and more rain. I will be taking the following:
Gloves, umbrella, winter jacket, touque, scarf, winter boots....I WAS going to wear rock star non-existant wear, but that's not going to happen...

I am however, planning on head banging it out in style though...bring on the big hair!

Well, for awhile anyway....

GM

The new GM started today here at my place of lovely work!

Im not sure about her...yet.

She was inquiring about MY job a few months ago and was told that the position was filled and was not about to come open. End of that.

Now, she has applied for the GM position here and is now my new boss.

I am curious as to how this is gonna play out.
Will she tell me how to do my job? Suggestions are fine, you can ask me but DO NOT tell me.
Will she stay out of my area? If she doesnt thats ok, gimme some input, but once again, I know my job, love my job so leave me to do my job.

I am presently, working on the new brochure for this season. I am uninspired right at the moment and am scrapping the whole thing and starting over.

We have some great talent lined up.
I am trying very hard to get Wilma's birthday twin, Bif Naked to come to perform here but she is not touring the month we need her to come. We are still opimistic though....she seems to be a genuine person and that is a good thing!

We are also getting three people who I have been after to come for quite some time as well and that is Valdy and Gary Fjellgaard. Two grass roots folk singers and the brother of Nat King Cole, Mr. Freddy Cole who's voice is spellbinding! I can't wait.

We are also getting The Arrogant Worms, who I have been wanting for awhile too. My wish list this year was granted!

YAY!

Awwwww.....

So, I was complaining to Buster how he never gets me anything and it's time that he got me a present!

He did!!!!!

Two tickets to Bon Jovi and Kid Rock!!


WOOHOO!!!!


Should I dress back in the 80's to go to this with the high bang hair or should I just go "in the now"?


Thank you Buster!!!!
It's a great present!!!!

Dealing

I'm not sure how to deal with a few things going on, I don't want to say in my life, cuz that sounds too dramatic, but my gut is telling me to be very, very careful.

I'm having a birthday party for Buster on Friday and I am going to be surrounding myself with alot of people that I personally do. not. trust.

My gut is almost in a knot and I am pretty close to being sick about it. I have all these people coming over who have not been very considerate of myself or Buster and still are called "friends" and "famliy".

They are trouble makers, two-facers, liars, and back-stabbers and I have personally got rid of those types of people in my life years ago. I try to surround myself with happy, positive and welcoming, sensitive humans.

I'm actually shaking as I type this, I have gotten myself in such a tizzy. I should know better, but because I offend easily by stupid people, I am on the defensive.

Instead, I will put on a happy face cuz it is for Buster and make the most of it. I only need to be nice, cordial, and only need to give as much as I am given.

I feel really bad that these people that are in Busters life, accept him, of at least I think they do, I have been fooled before, and I have tried to be courteous and polite and still get slapped in the face. They say they are happy for him, that he is finally happy and that I am a warm welcome, but they sure have a funny way of showing it, and Buster is caught int he middle and I hate it. I see in the future a choice may have to be made, but for now, all will be left....simmering.

Because everyone will be at my house, on my territory so to speak, I will give them one last chance. I only do this, because I do love Buster and these people have always been in his life good and bad. So, here goes....

I can not lose sleep over this......

Canada Day Weekend

Hope you all have a great Canadian Weekend!!

WOOHOO!!!!

Quite a show

Dispite his personal demons that he is fighting, I had a chance to meet and truly talk with a really fantastic children's writer Robert Munsch. He has written so many books that touch the heart of many people.

He is this little frame of a man with an infectious smile and soft spoken charm. He actually takes the time to talk to you, to look right at you and to speak to you.
I had my books signed by him and when he did so, he noticed the note that my mom put on the inside of one of them and commented to me that I must be more than just a daughter and that he would sign on the page after my moms note. I found that quite touching.

Once this man hit the stage, he transformed into this fascinating storyteller, the kind that puts you in a trance and you just can't look away. He asked all sorts of kids to come up on stage to help him tell his stories. He did two performances back to back and not one story was the same. He was on stage for two hours telling stories about all sorts of things. One story he told to a little girl in a wheelchair and after when she came up to get her books signed he posed for pictures with this little girl and her face, eventhough you knew she was mentally challenged, her face just lit up. It was really cool to see.

If you ever get a chance to see Mr. Robert Munsch....do not hesitate...go.

Moving...

Ahh, it has been quite a learning experience moving into another Province that for me is only 2 minutes away.

This WILL BE my last move!

The paperwork that goes with it is absolutely ridiculous and it shows me really how lax we are in Saskatchewan if someone moves into the Province. Trying to get into Alberta or to be a resident there, is like trying to get back into Canada from a vacation abroad! Its insane!!! You might as well go through a pat down!

Anyway, I think we have everything straightened out.

As of today, I have started packing to move....I have realized that I have alot of crap, ummm, I mean stuff! That I really do use. Really Buster, I do!

SO, I have loaded up the new little vehicle and when Bruno, Wilma, Ruthie Tuesday and Katie-did come to visit close to the end of this month, well, there will just be the basics here. A table, beds, and a shower.

This buy the way is the new little Utility Car, I bought....with the help of Buster!!
Let me say, that it can sure pack alot of "stuff" in it. That little vehicle has in it oodles of bags, a bookcase, a plant stand, an end table, scads of bedding, table cloths, breakables, DVD's , oh a stereo, and I can't think what else I put in there, but that baby is packed right to the top!

I think its a nifty little tool!

Can the day go on and on and on and on

Got in to work this morning after I sat in my car for about 15 minutes waiting for the hard frost to melt on the windshield...all of a sudden I just felt yucky. I have been fighting off the sniffles for a couple of days now. I cleaned my apartment on Saturday/Sunday and the dust while dusting almost killed me.

I haven't been the same since.

I am hoping its allergies just wearing off. I don't like to take too many drugs since I am on a few already, but today, I broke down when I got to work and took some allgery pill the college nurse gave to me.

I am very groggy. Not a good sign.

This morning, I am heading over to the Docs office for my annual physical. Ugh. Not looking forward to it, but maybe she can determine if my sniffles are allergy related or cold related, which it better not be, because Mexico is 3 sleeps away, and I refuse to be sick!

I have a lunch meeting at noon with my temporary boss and a lady whom we want to recruit for the play.

This afternoon, I am gonna try to duck out for a nap, if I still feel like crap and then this evening is play practice......the day is going to be very long!

Itchy

I wanna have a party. I am feeling blah. I feel the need to entertain, now I know that is leaving it wide open for half wit comments but I want to just do something with friends.

Many moons ago, Millertime and I hosted many a party. Sometimes an all out drunk fest...well, on his part while I wined and dined the guests, but I really enjoyed that. I especially loved hosting dinner parties. I would make about a 5-6 course meal with a lovely dessert to follow and everyone would go home full and happy.

I guess its because I love to cook, maybe thats it. I love cooking for people and seeing them full and content. I would start preparations about two days before the soiree and plan the menu about a week to two weeks ahead of time, plan the party guest list and go from there. Sometimes it would be an outdoor bbq, sometimes a quonset party, sometimes a dinner party. Whatever the case, I enjoyed planning it and seeing it through.

I used to work for a catering company many moons ago and it was awesome. I also worked at a tea house as well, making home made soups, breads and all the fillings in between.

Im hoping that once Buster and I get moved in and settled, that once again, I will be able to start cooking like I used to. Not the party type stuff so much, but just cooking in general.

Cooking for one is no fun.

I guess we'll see what happens....

Christmas

My Christmas experience this year was a good one.

I spend from the 22-26th with Buster and his family.
I have never experienced so much Ukranian food in my life and was. it. good!

I was a little nervous going into this meet the family thing, after all, Buster has only ever met my mom, let alone the rest of the family, he has however, met Wilma and Bruno and they have given me a thumbs up and they are about as close to family as they can get in my books....but still I was nervous.

I was welcomed though with open arms and soon warmed up to Aunts, Uncles, Brothers, Sister, Mom, Dad, Cousins, In-Laws, kids....you name it, I was broke in. They also discovered that I can play a mean crib game! I love crib...and am not fussy about food choices! Yes, I do like to eat and try new things.

From there I went home from the Dec. 27-January 3rd. I needed to go to the Doctor. I was racking up various ailments, but was waiting til I got home and hoped I stayed together long enough to get there to see him....I unravelled at the Doc's office and was told that I still needed to be on my happy pills and that I had an ulcer, a sinus infection and a torn rotator cuff...WTF? What did I do to get that...I have no idea....but anyway...

I managed to get well enough to go out on the 31st. I headed to Spy Hill with my cousin and a best friend to see the cousins husband play drums in a band for a girl who won the star search contest for the local radio station. It was a great time.

The week at the farm was good, we managed to winterize the barn, bring home the main herd of horses to start feeding hay to, and we attended a few house parties.

I came home on the 3rd, welcoming the thought of work. Now, things are back to normal including my eating habits...although there is Mexico in a few weeks...

Hmmmmm

Weekend in Vegas

Well, I just got back from Vegas with Wilma and Bruno. Once again it was a fab trip!
We met so many people this time. Some knotheads. Some genuine, sweet people.

The knotheads were from Canada and Austrailia. I was actually embarrassed that these asses were from Canada, however they were not from Saskatchewan and we are all nice here!

There were some fine folks that we met from Ontario, who found beer and clam in a can! Yay! Good on them. It was very hard to find Clamato. Bloody Marys are too thick and you can not pour tomato juice in beer....speaking of.....we went to a little martini bar, well actually it wasnt little but where we sat, it was quaint and Bartender Corrin was fabulous. What a nice lady.

There was also our cab driver Wally who was also just as great. We had music blaring and he too was singing along with us to Lady Gaga! When he picked us up for the ride back to the hotel, it was Thriller that was coming out of his stereo!!

The room was nice and the company was lovely! We giggled and guffawed til the wee hours in the morning....well, except for Friday....we ordered room service for supper and watched Star Trek movies....it was nice.

The shopping was superb, there were so many deals...I had a tough time keeping my hands in my pockets. The place I was hoping to get to was Victoria Secret and was about to give up hope when we stumbled on to it on our way to the Martini Bar. I did get some treats from there but the best deal I got was from Ann Taylor. I just love the clothes from there. They are girlie and the colours are so rich.

I am looking forward to another little excursion with Wilma and Bruno....always smiles and laughs.

Ramblings

The gremlin was in my office again this morning. She left me a timmy's tea. What a treat!

Nothing like the Christmas spririt. Speaking of.....

I was a little ticked off yesterday when one of the former people-that-I-hate brought in home made chocolates and gave everyone a little gift but me. I thought this person and I were getting along quite well since our talk over the summer. We discovered that the one person that I hate is actually hated by alot of people and my three then became two after our chat...I was wrong. It's back to three again.

I was quite hurt and disappointed, not that I didn't get something but, it told me that he still has a problem with me and that all the joking, and laughing or talking to me is all a facade, I know he still doesn't like me....once again, I guess we have separated the men from the cowboys. Now, I feel I have to be guarded again and I hate that.

On a happier note, I see Buster today and Wilma and Bruno tomorrow. Its pay day today from both places and I am all done Christmas shopping except for stuffers and that can wait til I get back from Vegas.

What are we gonna do in Vegas? Who are we gonna see? I hear a martini calling off way in the distance.....FAIRY MAE??? LILY????
What is my name gonna be? Any suggestions? I'm open for options.....
Did I pack enough? Whats the weather gonna be like?...Did I...