Apparently

I'm trying to stay positive...I really am.

I can't seem to catch up with this new job change paying me less...way less then before...Im not a wealthy person.  I do live from pay check to pay check and that has only been lately as I have been socking the so called extra money I get into a retirement plan...do I get kudos for that...nope.  Hell I could take it out and spend it!!
I was just offered a way better paying job, one that I will enjoy.  I asked if I could work a 10 hour shift instead.  I was told no because of the way the business and staff work and instead was offered a dollar more...who can argue with that...apparently that is not good enough for some people.  IT can't get any better than that...and I can take days off to help with another catering job that pays great too!!

Not good enough...apparently. 

What I do get is a verbal shit kicking.  Does this at all help any situation??  I think not.  Does this make me feel like "well, then what the fuck am I doing then?"...you bet.

I feel like I first got married at 19 again.  I feel like a 12 year old having to account for every penny of my allowance...did I realize that getting a divorce would leave me pretty much homeless with no place to live much less food on the table...oh, wait, what table....I didn't have that either!!  I did not ask for any of that.  Hell, I didn't even have enough money to move back home!!

What I did do was learn how to get a job, rent a one bedroom apartment, get a bed, a table and a deep freeze.  Learn how to pay a bill - because that I did not even know how to do - and because I was the one at fault for the divorce, I am still paying for it.  Oh, my GOD, I am still paying for it.

I'm not asking others to help me out.  Never did, never will.

Do not continue to badger me about my finances.  I did not lead a charmed life.  I was not taught how to budget or figure out finances properly until I was in my mid 30's and holy crap, I think I am doing pretty damn good.....others may not think so, but I am self sufficient.  I am not asking for hand outs.  I am not living at a shelter.  I can stand on my own two feet thank you.  Stop telling me what  crappy job I am doing and instead let me know how well I am doing.  I know I still have debt.  It may take me many years to get rid of it all, but it's my debt.  I don't harp about yours or anyone else's.  I don't tell you what you need or want. 

I know that difference between needs and wants.

What I want is some kind gentle advice or help, maybe a pat on the back. 
What I don't need is to be preached or bitched at about it.

No name

I've sent in my resume to I don't know how many people. My tranny on the escape has decided to give me grief - thank you warranty! My mother is having open heart surgery on what looks like now Tuesday, my horse died, and now my dog broke her leg. Is this my fault I ask?

Is any of this my fault? Bad karma maybe but never asked for. Im sick to fucking death of trying to please every one and trying to be the good guy. Im sick to death of others shit attitute. Hey, I'm just trying to get through one more fucking day. Get off my back, treat me with some respect. If I'm such a pain in the ass then let me know so I can fix that. If I'm such a miserable SOB to work with then let me know so I can fix that. If I'm such an idiot, then let me know so I can fix that..don't know if that can be fixed...? If I'm not pulling my weight or if I am being a burden then by all means, let me fix that.

The boss says Fairy, take the day off tomorrow and get your self together. Really? What more can I possible get together? No matter what I touch, no matter what I say or feel, I am falling apart and no happy pill in the world is gonna help me get back together.



I'm sick of having others have a shit day or shit news and treating me like this is all my doing. I'm sick of travelling with moody road partners, I'm sick of being told what is mine and what isn't . I'm sick, fed up and have had it. I double dog dare just one more person to make my day a disaster with their attitude or crap words. I demand respect and kindness. I want it and I want it from now on. Period.

I'm stressed out, a nervous wreck and ready to fly....so DON'T piss me off. I really, really, from the bottom of my heart, mean it.

..... and on top of it all...these feelings really scare the hell out of me.

The Monkey's Paw

Tonight is full dress rehearsal for a very scattered cast and crew. I've got directors coming from every which way and tomorrow is thee day!

I am at the point to where I'm not too sure about the whole thing. It seems this poor play was cursed from the very get go and nothing seems to be working for us still.

Our little actors have memorized until they are blue in the face. I've had committed actors memorizing the script but never showing up for practice, yet of all the rehearsals that we have had, they seem to be pulling it off when they do show, but are now throwing the other actors off because the others just got used to them not being there....sigh. Did I mention the cast before this one buggared off to do Rocky!!??

I've got one actor whispering lines to everyone and late for her own, I've got the lights man telling me which chair the main actor should sit in, I've got my props lady coming over to me and pointing out to me that the actors are not following the stage directions that are in the book! AARRGGGHHHH...too many directors and not enough actors. Oh, did I mention that the little high school student who was supposed to run lights, never did show up and when he did, he wanted me to sign the paper to his teacher saying he WAS there for all the rehearsals!! That didn't happen! I'm hoping he failed!

I am now doing sound, prompting, set construction and making damn good and sure there is a double caesar waiting for me in the wings when its all over!!!

I am praying that they will have a great run tonight.

Two weeks

Well, I just nicely got back from two weeks of holidays.

Buster, Kiddo and I headed to the mountains. This was a new thing for all of us. Our first holiday together...all three of us....together.....

We survived....Buster and his lack of communication, Kiddo and her non listening skills and me, the basket case!

We got it all ironed out and it was fabulous. I am looking forward to another adventure - minus the in law drama, their camper, their truck and their bullshit in general. We learned a lesson that we will never, never borrow anything of theirs again and actually realized that in the long run it would have been cheaper to rent a cabin with a kichenette and so forth. I did however take some fantastic pictures.

This past week I spent at the farm.
I have an uncle that is dying from alcoholism....everything is shutting down and it will be only a matter of time before I attend his funeral. In the meantime, he has three children which eventually lost contact with him because of his drinking, he preferred the bottle over his kids. One however, came home this past week to mend fences with the whole family. She brought her two kids and camped out at the farm and we had a great time. She decided that she would go in and visit her dad/my uncle. When we first walked in he didn't know her. He has had no contact with her for over 25 years....but when she told him who he was...well, the water works kicked in and it made a dying man very happy.

The last few days at the farm were very trying for me. Angle and her husband Lorne with three kids also camped out at the farm. He had a temper tantrum many times throughout the week and all those times I kept my mouth shut. The day before I went home was the day the shit finally hit the fan. He threw his last one around me. I said two words to the lot of them and they packed up and left. He was whining because he wanted to go to the lake and there was too much to do at the farm due to rain two days before. There was about 1/2 mile of fence that needed tending too and he just didn't want to be there so he made life miserable. I put my hammer down and told them all to "go". The second time I said it, tears were then streaming down my face and they then left.

This left my mom, who is 70 and my self to build and fix a fence. We worked from 10am and got into the house a little after 7pm. Of course, Angle called her mommy, who then called my mommy, who then proceeded to tell me to calm down and talk to Angle...well, I just wasn't ready to hear the sob story and the excuses....now, because I allowed myself to be mad, I am the bad guy. because I am not ready to listen to the bullshit, I am the bad guy. These past few days after pounding with the sledge over 25 fence posts and putting up a millions miles of barbed wire, page wire and pounding in staples...I am not quite ready to talk to anyone yet. My hands are still swollen and thank heaven I have a tetnus shot!

These two weeks of holidays were very eventful.....

Can't wait til next year!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......

GM

The new GM started today here at my place of lovely work!

Im not sure about her...yet.

She was inquiring about MY job a few months ago and was told that the position was filled and was not about to come open. End of that.

Now, she has applied for the GM position here and is now my new boss.

I am curious as to how this is gonna play out.
Will she tell me how to do my job? Suggestions are fine, you can ask me but DO NOT tell me.
Will she stay out of my area? If she doesnt thats ok, gimme some input, but once again, I know my job, love my job so leave me to do my job.

I am presently, working on the new brochure for this season. I am uninspired right at the moment and am scrapping the whole thing and starting over.

We have some great talent lined up.
I am trying very hard to get Wilma's birthday twin, Bif Naked to come to perform here but she is not touring the month we need her to come. We are still opimistic though....she seems to be a genuine person and that is a good thing!

We are also getting three people who I have been after to come for quite some time as well and that is Valdy and Gary Fjellgaard. Two grass roots folk singers and the brother of Nat King Cole, Mr. Freddy Cole who's voice is spellbinding! I can't wait.

We are also getting The Arrogant Worms, who I have been wanting for awhile too. My wish list this year was granted!

YAY!

Dealing

I'm not sure how to deal with a few things going on, I don't want to say in my life, cuz that sounds too dramatic, but my gut is telling me to be very, very careful.

I'm having a birthday party for Buster on Friday and I am going to be surrounding myself with alot of people that I personally do. not. trust.

My gut is almost in a knot and I am pretty close to being sick about it. I have all these people coming over who have not been very considerate of myself or Buster and still are called "friends" and "famliy".

They are trouble makers, two-facers, liars, and back-stabbers and I have personally got rid of those types of people in my life years ago. I try to surround myself with happy, positive and welcoming, sensitive humans.

I'm actually shaking as I type this, I have gotten myself in such a tizzy. I should know better, but because I offend easily by stupid people, I am on the defensive.

Instead, I will put on a happy face cuz it is for Buster and make the most of it. I only need to be nice, cordial, and only need to give as much as I am given.

I feel really bad that these people that are in Busters life, accept him, of at least I think they do, I have been fooled before, and I have tried to be courteous and polite and still get slapped in the face. They say they are happy for him, that he is finally happy and that I am a warm welcome, but they sure have a funny way of showing it, and Buster is caught int he middle and I hate it. I see in the future a choice may have to be made, but for now, all will be left....simmering.

Because everyone will be at my house, on my territory so to speak, I will give them one last chance. I only do this, because I do love Buster and these people have always been in his life good and bad. So, here goes....

I can not lose sleep over this......

Soooo......

So, what the hell was that about?

Wilma is right...

Fast as lightning!

I helped Buster's aunt yesterday. My second job is helping her cater. It was about a 240 seater and all the Ukrainian fixings were on the table. YUM!

There were cabbage rolls, head cheese, three types of salads, buns with cheese inside them and dill sauce spilled over top! There were pickles, fried chicken, and little potatoes with a dill cream sauce ontop as well as baked beet leaves! Man oh Man was it a feast!

As I was standing there at the end of the table a man walked up to me and asked me for....ketchup!

I said "Ketchup?!" My eyebrows were raised and my mouth open. Are you joking? "Ketchup, with what", I asked?

I of course said no! No Ketchup!! WTF?

So I sauntered in to the kitchen and asked the cook....is there any ketchup? In an Ukrainian accent you could hear to the post office was the reply..."Ketchup! Who's putting ketchup on my food!"

That was all I needed. Nope. No Ketchup!

I was also standing there when I heard a woman asking another woman where she was from. The woman replied that she lived in Lloydminster. The other woman asked if she lived on the Alberta side or the Saskatchewan side. Alberta was the reply. And with that there was some verbal exchange and before I knew it, the woman sidled up to me and asked where I was from.

"I live in Vegreville" was my answer....I knew what was coming.
"Oh, I have never seen you there before, are you new?" she asked
"Yes, I am an import.", thinking that I don't even know you what do you care...but I played along.

"Where are you from?" the woman said.
I said, "The Saskatchewan/Manitoba Border."

There was a slight moment of silence...and one word puked out of her mouth..."oh!"

Then she said, "Oh, that's too bad." "Your on the right side now!"

I said, "You know, its attitudes like yours that make me proud to be from Saskatchewan."

She took a quick intake of breath and walked away.

I just smiled.

Things that make ya go Hmmmmm.

Its already May 14th!

What happened?

Did I just wake up?

Where did April and the first part of May go?

This is the last weekend of dance recital! I can't wait.

There is an event going on here next week at my work to help those in need over in Ecuador and Haiti and don't get me wrong I know they need help and I know this is a touchy subject but what about the homeless people on my block? What about the homeless in our Country...hmmmm does the electric/heat bill get paid so there is a roof over everyone's head or do you get a few measely groceries to tie everyone over for another week?

750,000 in Haiti are homeless...How do I know the money that I donate is gonna get there? I know for a fact that when I drop goods off at the local Salvation Army its gonna get to those people/families that are here in my community.

I see that its a good thing to help all the people out over in the other Countries but shouldn't we save our community members first? Why can't more of the celebrities donate their millions? I can only name a handfull that do, there may be more, but I don't hear about it.
Vin Diesel, Will. I . Am, Oprah, Angelina, Rod, Celine, huh, I can't think of anyone else....

I have my own problems deciding which bill to pay first! Heat or food?

(thinking here)

I am a bit overweight from winter storage ( I am an easy keeper)...maybe I will pay for the electric.

Oh dear....

So, Festival is not going as planned. I won't be there....at all.

I instead, am having company and am looking quite forward to it as I have not seen these treasured friends in months...so welcome!

I am hoping we can head into Edmontus and hit the Mayfield Inn for Dial M for Murder on the Friday night or Saturday night.

The house is fairly clean, but the main thing is that the beds are made and they are clean and fresh as a daisy.

Believe it or not, I really did enjoy my first Easter with the "new" family. Buster gets frustrated with the fam sometimes, but then, who doesn't!

It was great fun to colour Easter eggs with little kids. Buster's daughter is going to be 5 soon and it has been fun so far. There has been a few bumps but nothing that can't be smoothed out. She has a great sense of humour like her dad and that is fun for us all.

I have enjoyed the eggs and decorating jars and helping do her hair, get her dressed and yes, even running the water for the bath is fun too.

Buster and the rug rat are gone now for two weeks and holy crap is it gonna be quiet. Can't wait to bring Effie, my dog home so we can pass the time together until the two week stints are done.

Well, this week is once again busy with work/performances...so off I go.

Hope you all had a great Easter!

Sicko Easter

The Easter has not been the greatest. It's been nice but I have had better. Being put into a "step mom" roll has and is an adjustment for me. I have to watch what I say. I have to share. I have to have patience. I can do this, but I also need some encouragement from the other end as well.

This weekend has been a test and right at the moment the two people who I have busted my ass for, the two sickos are right at this moment watching a movie together. After, I have cooked meals, cleaned up vomit, washed bacteria infested bedding, clean bacteria infested floors, tubs and cooked "light" meals for two terribly sensitive stomachs, I now am the outcast.

They decided to watch a new movie that the Easter Bunny brought, which I might add, I was that bunny! They are in the bedroom, both laying on the bed, engrossed in the frog prince or whatever the damn thing is called. I was in the living room watching Celebrity Apprentice. I may have turned off the TV or said ya, sure lets watch it....but I was never asked. So, here I am mulling over my next course of action.

Ya Buster said do you want to watch with us, when I poked my head in to the bedroom to see where they were and what they were doing, but come on....the movie was already on and the bed is a twin....clearly, the outsider, the maid, stays on the out side....this is not the first time....I'm guessing won't be the last.

Am I being too sensitive here, maybe, but the invite when the movie was decided to go on would have been nice right from the start....it's ok. I will carry on and finish the laundry, and go to my room and read.

Tomorrow is yet another holiday.

Seriously, is it really a holiday?

I thought not. Just another Monday.

HSP

For years, I have been told that I am over sensitive. That I take things too personal. That I take things to heart, that I am an overthinker. Believe me, I know this. I am fully aware of these "flaws" that I possess. This is not fun for me.

I have close family and friends that tell me this on a regular basis. I KNOW that I am over sensitive...stop reminding me. Remind yourself instead!

I sat down with someone last week. Someone that is like me. This person and I have become pretty good friends and we chat about our "flaws" quite a bit. I had a light bulb moment.

He made me realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I should recognize and embrace my personal characteristics, or my "flaws".

I recognize and am affected by a persons mood or aura, well before they even do. I recognize the slightest movements or gestures before the other person realizes they are doing it. I recognize tones in the other persons voice before they ever do. I am a highly sensitive to loud noises and startly very, very easily. I get overwhelmed very easliy and need a "time out" in order to think things over and to regroup.

People misunderstand me at times when I become quiet and withdraw. It's not that I am mad, angry or afraid. I am really just assessing the situation and deciding my next course of action and how I should handle it. Me.

I overthink a situation and then assume it is my fault, I worry. Guess that's why I have an ulcer. I work well by myself so I am not scrutinized by others. I know family and friends and yes even Buster get impatient with me, but, I already have you, all of you, figured out well before you even know you do. After these "flaws" of mine were pointed out to me and was given material to read about it, it made so much sense to me. These "flaws" really aren't a flaw at all but rather a gift that I could use to my advantage.

I am who I am. I can not change this. Try as I might. I just can't .

If you love me.
You will keep this in mind.
If you care about me.
You will have patience with me as I do with you.

What would your mother say....

I still can't believe that drama that went on Saturday night.

I had to work Saturday night because a very well known Canadian singer and his band were going to be here with proceeds going to a AAA Bantams Girls Hockey Team.

I arrived at 4pm and the band was to come in at 5:30.

Now, I can handle most things, but then after I have had enough, I start to get rude.

The band was to go on at 7:30pm. They wanted the cheque first and refused to go on until then. The girls hockey team played a game that night and the man who booked this lovely band was their head coach AND at the game. We had to track him down and he physically had to give them the cheque.....strike 1.

There were two groupie girls with them who felt the need to light up in the NON SMOKING ANYTHING room. Our stage manager went back stage and told them to butt out. Take the weed outside please...strike 2!

During intermission they had to be told yet again, take the weed outside to smoke....and where are and why are there bottlecaps littered everywhere back stage...do they know what a garbage can is for?...strike 3!

Well, after intermission was over, the house went back in and the audience waited in the dark for about 15 minutes....why?....Oh because Mr. Man had to finish smoking his "cigarette".

So while everyone was waiting in the dark for Mr. Smoke man to finish...the bottle caps continued to breed....everywhere you looked there was more!

After the show, my boss and I decided to go "clean" the green room. The relax room. The room was a mess....what was happening was Mr. Smoke man would open a bottle of beer, pop off the lid and let it fall where it may. That held true with the chips, the salsa, the fruit...they were pigs! The man and his band are pot heads and drunks. Needless to say, this is the last time they will perform for us.

While we were trying to clean it up, they milled around in the room....were they ever going to leave? They have hotel rooms....finally I had enough and my parting words to them were "ok guys, I love you dearly, but get out!"

What would Mr. Man's mom say if she knew this is how her son carried on? What would she say if she knew that this is how he does things?

He performed here about 4 years ago and from what our back stage crew said was that from then to now...he is a very different person.

I am very disappointed in the fact that I really liked this guys music. I enjoyed singing his song infront of a crowd at the "Back to You" pilot. I cranked the volume knob on the radio when he came on, but he and his band have ruined it for me.

Now, all I can think about are a bunch of primadonna's and their groupies, booze and drugs. Now, all I can think about is having to wait on this guy to finish his weed before he would go on leaving 500 plus people in the dark wondering where he was. Now, all I can think about is standing there by the table where he was signing autographs for happy people who think he is the greatest thing since sliced bread and all he and his band are, are stoners. That they have to perform on stage under the influence.

Ya, Jim Morrison and all those guys did it too...they are dead.


This is the third time I have been disappointed by a performer from what I have seen going on back stage.

I know there will be more.

Can't help it.

"Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes."

I can't help the things I do. It's called Cultural Anthropology. I can reflect afterward and change it for the next time though....

I can't help the fact that when a person says "we", talking about two people and there is a third in the room, makes you feel like a third wheel. I need to be invited and to feel like "we" too.

I can't help asking where you are in an empty house when it's only me I hear. If you can find my dad ask him why he left us alone.

I can't help the fact you don't like change.

I always thought change was a good thing.

Still sick..

Well the troupes have rallied and have called mom and are paying her, but it was me who let them know just exactly what was going on. Why do I have to be the bitch all the time? Why do I always have to have them mad at me? It's their fault I am emailing them.

I facebooked them all and told them exactly how it was. I chose this method so it would be on black and white and they would have to read and absorb rather then glaze over my voice when I called.

I hate being the bad guy. At home they call me "the intimidator" and that's not fair.

Mom has made arrangements to have checks sent to her monthly...let's see if it happens shall we?

Now, everyone is pissed at me cuz once again FairyMae has stirred the pot.

Well, it was either that or find me literally in the nut house. Then who would bail them out!

Well, today starts off rather yucky. Let's see how the rest of it goes.

At least they all know what is what and what I am NOT willing to do anymore...Yay for me!

Gold 4 Cash - CROOKS!

I decided to send in my engagement ring and band to Gold 4 Cash. I took them in to Peoples to get them appraised and they were worth over $2200.00

I emailed this company for the package AND you have the option of sending $10 in the package if you want them to call you with a quote. If you don't like what they quote you, then they will send your gold back to you. I didn't bother with this option because I thought if they send me even $500 I would be happy.....they sent me $100.00 cheque!!! I was stunned AND in the memo it read "scrap". I was sick.

I immediately called them and asked them WTF? The dude on the phone told me that they are a scrap metal company and I was lucky to get the 100.00! I offered to send the cheque back to them and/or tear it up and would they send my rings back to me and I would pay for it. NOPE! Not an option. Did I mention I am just sick about this.....

Yup, another learning curve in life, if it sounds to good to be true, just keep walkin' cuz it is!

So, if you plan on using this company in the future...DO NOT. You would be better off to go to your local pawn shop to hawk your valuables because this company, this Gold4Cash Company, they are nothing but crooks, and con artists!

$1800.00 back....my ass!

On the Phone

I was trying to log in to the new banking system at my bank on line, and was getting very frustrated because I could not get my password to log in.

Now, really whats the point in getting mad, its your own stupidity that you can't remember a simple password! I mean we have passwords for everything and I normally use just one for all, but there is that one log in that you need to use a number with your normal password and that my friends is where I get stumped.

Just having to remember which number goes with which site! Its crazy....so, I call my 1 -800 banker and he laughed at me! I phoned, said hello, the usual weather chit chat and then I told him the new site sucked and he laughed! Course, I laughed too, but the bubbly man got me through my little tantrum, told me I was a rare customer who didn't verbally abuse him and was told I made his day....and he made mine too!

Moral of the story, a little kindness with a dose of laughter goes a long way! Laughter truly is the best medicine!

Scrooging at work

I feel a rant coming on!

There are two things that I am not fond of and that is dance season and school xmas concert season. These two times bring out the best in parents.

Its always that one parent that is a nightmare which makes me lump them all together as "get your shit together parents".

One parent last night was pissed off because she couldnt get a seat. 548 seats in this venue and you cant get your shit together enough to get your butt over here to stand in line and wait. Your kid got here on time? Oh, you have to work....lets see, most bosses will let off early to get your kid on time to these things....excuse after excuse and then the verbal abuse starts...when did it become ok to verbally abuse anyone, anywhere? WHEN? I stepped in at that point when she satrted in on one of our elderly volunteers....I told her if she couldn't be nice, she had to leave and how proud would her son or daughter be if they found out you were kicked out for verbal abuse? What is going on here?


I went over to get my H1N1/flu shot yesterday over at the clinic and there is a big bold sign..."verbal abuse of any kind will not be tolerated". I see these signs posted everywhere, in retail stores, in restaurants, in the clinics...what the hell? Why can't anyone be polite anymore? Why does everyone have to be so angry? Why the chip on the shoulder?

Go get some help. Please!


Ahhh, I feel better now.

TPB

Last week we were graced with the presence of Julian, Bubbles and Ricky.

Not impressed. The show was great...the actors themselves...meh, not so much.

I am a people person and I have been at this job now for two years. Two people have stuck out in my mind so far as the nicest most down to earth people - we're talking "celebrity status" here. They are Jason Blaine and Kalan Porter...honourable mentions go to Johnny Reid and Patrick Roach and John Dunsworth. Now if you don't know who the last two are, well, they are Randy and Lahey from TPB.

I'm not out to be their best friend, I have many. I do, however have to work with them. It is my job to make sure everything is running smoothly, any beefs or bouquets come to me. Although, there were no bouquets from the three, there were no beefs either. I asked Mike and Rob if they needed anything and though they shook my hand and introduced themselves to me, you could tell they were "of higher status"....are they joking!?

I laughed as I exited the room.

I can't be bothered.....

I'm not lost.

Ohhhh my oh my. Where to start.

Well, tonight is Trailer Park Boys. Actually two nights of them...yes, Bubbles, Julian and Ricky.

I can not believe how many people have never been to our theatre before. Well, really are the Trailer Park Boys really culture? I suppose they are a culture in their own right. Not my kind of culture, but never the less....we are at least bringing in a "new" people who will be seeing the theatre...thats is one bright side.

I am actially looking forward to meeting the boys because when Randy and Lahey were here for a performance, they were really quite nice men. Intelligent and knew what side of their bread was buttered. Lahey, who in real life is a Shakespearian actor, was a very brilliant man to talk to and Randy was also very intelligent, so meeting the other three out of character will be interesting I'm sure.

Other news...well I have been jetting here and there for many Arts showcases, meeting talented singers, songwriters, actors and musicians all of whom are trying to make a living in this Country. I have met many these last few weeks and the one who still is to me a fabulous singer/songwriter is Jeffrey Straker. He is truly a hard act to follow!...and he is a prairie boy!

Another person who I have befriended is a woman by the name of Karen Fawcett. She is an opera singer who is wonderful! And I don't even like opera!!

Relationship wise, well, I have been dating for three months now, not quite three, to a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and is open and honest. He tells it like it is and this is pretty good on my part. No hidden agenda. YAY! I meet his family this weekend and I am nervous. He met my two closest friends, Bruno and Wilma. He really liked them AND he really likes the theatre!! He had never attended any theatre before and now I have made him into a monster! We are attending a black tie event this weekend. The Shumka Dancers will be performing in Edmontonia and I am super excited a). that I am going and b). I am going with someone who will enjoy it as much as I!!

I am also super excited as we (Wilma, Bruno and I) are heading to Vegas in December.

After my little nerve episode, I sat down and truly thought about who my friends are and who is really no good for me. I have found that I can only be with people who love me for me. I can not change, well I can change a few things, but my "behaviours" are a learned behaviour and I can only change to my ability. I like who I am. I have finally found me.
The people who matter to me are my family, Buster the new and improved better half, and only a handful of close friends and Wilma and Bruno are two of them. Not only do I think of my family, close friends and Buster daily, but I also wonder how they are, what they are doing and so forth.

So with this new found awareness, I am really looking forward in going to Vegas with my two of my best friends. I am looking forward in going to a hot place with Buster, I am looking forward to Christmas with my family.

With 2009, The Year of Being Me almost gone. I think I have finally found me. It took me awhile but, I am still here, I am now in relatively good health, I am in a stable relationship, my friends who have helped me through this rough spot are still here - I have not scared them off!, my family is closer to me then ever and my job is soaring to new heights.

I am back on track and will be blogging, which I missed doing, on a regular basis again....