Yikes

YIKES!!

I have not been on the internet for about a week or more. It has been so crazy at work and at home. Moving, dance festivals, inter-office fights....WOW!

The Person that I hate is being an ass....again...surprise, surprise...just when I was ready for him too and the buggar backed down. Ahhh there will be a next time, I am sure!

I am getting ready for Full Length Theatre Festival in April. I was going to try to get to my Chiropractic Equine Course in May but that's not going to happen so hopefully in the fall I'll be able to go.
It's not that money is tight. I'm just not sure where its going to be allocated. What Buster wants me to pay for and so forth.

I am however, going to go in May to pick up my four legged kid from my mom. I am so excited to get my baby back. She has been living with my mom for 5 Christmas' and now...now I can have her back. I have missed her so much. I am hoping Buster and Dee will love her and accept her. Buster also wants.....now Wilma, Bruno...don't bug him about this....but....

a Chihuahua.

Yes, you saw correctly.

Buster had one as a kid and now wants another...two dogs...thats ok. I am happy with that. Its kinda lonely when he is gone for two weeks at a time. The hampster and the fish don't hang out with me much.

My Mom and Goddaughter came down on the weekend. They spent the night at the new house. They attended the Gala with me, eventhough I couldn't be with them very much. I think they enjoyed it.

There was one of my cast members (who is going to apprentice at Full Length) who has it in his head that he is going to be a famous actor. He was our understudy for the play. This little guy has a heart of gold but is very disillusioned. He came from out East to find his calling! Acting! In....the Border Town? Ummmm, no.

So, he is going to attend Full Length Festival as an apprentice...because according to him all actors start out on stage then head to Vancouver, then get an acting job, then make it big. I don't have the heart to tell him that it just doesn't happen that way. That when they say don't call us, we'll call you...they mean it. That when they say you are not for the part, they mean it and when they say, you got the part, if you are not a principle actor, the pay is crap and you need another job to support the "acting career". He is such an intense person too. He gives it his all at everything. Take a guess as to how old this guy is. When I finally asked him how old he was, I nearly fell over.

It should be interesting to see him there, to see him interact...no pun intended with everyone.

Dance season is upon me here at work. Its is Ukrainian Dance this weekend. Next weekend its just your regular ole jazz hands and tap along with ballet, hip hop...if you could call it hip hop....most of the hip hop ladies are a bunch of overweight girls trying to be someone they ARE NOT! It's tragically funny. I mean good for them, but oh dear! To sit and watch them do the head whip and the butt bounce...

Ahhh, I love my job.

Bringing in 2010

2009, was quite a year. It is bitter sweet. I ended a terrible, unhealthy relationsip to a boy who is and always will be a bully, manipulator and a controller. Out of that crazy time, I realized just how much a person can go through, just how much a soul can endure before the breaking point.

I have been lucky enough to have family and friends to haul me outta that mess and get me help and support.

By the end of 2009, my luck changed for the better. In August, I joined Eharmony and met Buster Brown and haven't looked back since. He makes me happy, and I am smiling all the time, which I haven't done in quite awhile. My family and friends are still there for me and now know when to give me a pep talk and when to give me a pat on the back.

Now, I am surrounded by good people, I have rid myself of any bad karma and have now started to listen to "that gut feeling".

This Christmas I spent it with Buster and his family and enjoyed myself immensely. I met all sorts of relatives and neighbours with good hearts and great humour side by side. I then went home and had a belated Christmas with my family and celebrated the New Year with my cousin and her hubby and a best friend (that I have known since kindergarten) at a dance in another little town 40 minutes away.

I think the "2009: The Year of Being Me" was a good year. I discovered many things about myself....and I like me.

Ramblings

The gremlin was in my office again this morning. She left me a timmy's tea. What a treat!

Nothing like the Christmas spririt. Speaking of.....

I was a little ticked off yesterday when one of the former people-that-I-hate brought in home made chocolates and gave everyone a little gift but me. I thought this person and I were getting along quite well since our talk over the summer. We discovered that the one person that I hate is actually hated by alot of people and my three then became two after our chat...I was wrong. It's back to three again.

I was quite hurt and disappointed, not that I didn't get something but, it told me that he still has a problem with me and that all the joking, and laughing or talking to me is all a facade, I know he still doesn't like me....once again, I guess we have separated the men from the cowboys. Now, I feel I have to be guarded again and I hate that.

On a happier note, I see Buster today and Wilma and Bruno tomorrow. Its pay day today from both places and I am all done Christmas shopping except for stuffers and that can wait til I get back from Vegas.

What are we gonna do in Vegas? Who are we gonna see? I hear a martini calling off way in the distance.....FAIRY MAE??? LILY????
What is my name gonna be? Any suggestions? I'm open for options.....
Did I pack enough? Whats the weather gonna be like?...Did I...

Leaving on a jet plane

Well, Vegas is a hop, skip and a jump away. I am heading to Sin City with Wilma and Bruno.

I am flat busted broke and can barely afford my plane fare, but I am going.

Who can pass up spending a few days with your best friends to catch up on gossip and giggles while sipping on a martini? I mean seriously. Its only money. I can't take it with me when I die and I have no one to pass it on to...so I'm going.

I am also going in January to Mexico with Buster. We are waiting on his passport and then Hola bound. I do plan on swimming, drinking free tequila, and laying in the sun...maybe not all in that particular order, but its gonna happen. This pastey white girl is gonna sit under the palapa with her hat, sunglasses, wrap and bathing suit with a margarita in her hand getting waited on hand and foot by the cute little Mexican men, with of course, Buster by my side.

Now, what to pack for Vegas?

Show stopping

So, I am directing the play for the Gala. "The Hound of the Baskervilles".

I realize it has been many years since I have directed a full length play but I feel I have the ability to do so. I am dedicated, organized, a control freak, and I have a vision of how I want the play to be.

I was told the other day that there is doubt from the committee that I can pull this off. I was kinda stunned, firstly because I have been a thespian for years, secondly, I am the president of the gala and it was news to me and thirdly, I saw no one else step up to the plate....and I really wanted to do this play.

I have the cast picked and already have had someone start rail roading me into switching cast around. This past festival, we had an actor join our little group and he is one of the best actors I have seen in a long time and I have chosen him to be Sherlock....the set constuctor has other ideas.

I can't understand why people, and it has happened all my life, have to try to change my mind for me. If they say no or have an opinion I respect it, but when I have a say, its not good enough for them and really I am tired of it. Almost 40 and still people think I am an idiot. Maybe I am.

Let me try and if I fall then I will know but until then the show must go on.

I'm not lost.

Ohhhh my oh my. Where to start.

Well, tonight is Trailer Park Boys. Actually two nights of them...yes, Bubbles, Julian and Ricky.

I can not believe how many people have never been to our theatre before. Well, really are the Trailer Park Boys really culture? I suppose they are a culture in their own right. Not my kind of culture, but never the less....we are at least bringing in a "new" people who will be seeing the theatre...thats is one bright side.

I am actially looking forward to meeting the boys because when Randy and Lahey were here for a performance, they were really quite nice men. Intelligent and knew what side of their bread was buttered. Lahey, who in real life is a Shakespearian actor, was a very brilliant man to talk to and Randy was also very intelligent, so meeting the other three out of character will be interesting I'm sure.

Other news...well I have been jetting here and there for many Arts showcases, meeting talented singers, songwriters, actors and musicians all of whom are trying to make a living in this Country. I have met many these last few weeks and the one who still is to me a fabulous singer/songwriter is Jeffrey Straker. He is truly a hard act to follow!...and he is a prairie boy!

Another person who I have befriended is a woman by the name of Karen Fawcett. She is an opera singer who is wonderful! And I don't even like opera!!

Relationship wise, well, I have been dating for three months now, not quite three, to a man who wears his heart on his sleeve and is open and honest. He tells it like it is and this is pretty good on my part. No hidden agenda. YAY! I meet his family this weekend and I am nervous. He met my two closest friends, Bruno and Wilma. He really liked them AND he really likes the theatre!! He had never attended any theatre before and now I have made him into a monster! We are attending a black tie event this weekend. The Shumka Dancers will be performing in Edmontonia and I am super excited a). that I am going and b). I am going with someone who will enjoy it as much as I!!

I am also super excited as we (Wilma, Bruno and I) are heading to Vegas in December.

After my little nerve episode, I sat down and truly thought about who my friends are and who is really no good for me. I have found that I can only be with people who love me for me. I can not change, well I can change a few things, but my "behaviours" are a learned behaviour and I can only change to my ability. I like who I am. I have finally found me.
The people who matter to me are my family, Buster the new and improved better half, and only a handful of close friends and Wilma and Bruno are two of them. Not only do I think of my family, close friends and Buster daily, but I also wonder how they are, what they are doing and so forth.

So with this new found awareness, I am really looking forward in going to Vegas with my two of my best friends. I am looking forward in going to a hot place with Buster, I am looking forward to Christmas with my family.

With 2009, The Year of Being Me almost gone. I think I have finally found me. It took me awhile but, I am still here, I am now in relatively good health, I am in a stable relationship, my friends who have helped me through this rough spot are still here - I have not scared them off!, my family is closer to me then ever and my job is soaring to new heights.

I am back on track and will be blogging, which I missed doing, on a regular basis again....

Up and coming...

Well, I just spent a week in Toon Town learning how to massage a horse. Yes, some human parts apply! It was a very interesting week. I learned about muscles, bones, trigger points, stress points and how to calm myself before starting on the horse. I passed all tests with flying colours and the actual hands on was a breeze!

I am now a certified Equine Massage Therapist, and now have applied to another course on Equine Appraisals. I am hoping to take this course during the winter so then by Spring all is done and I can quit my hell job.

As for the dating scene...I have another date tonight. I have been "seeing" this certain gentleman for a couple of weeks now. He is quite nice, thoughtful and polite. He has a 4 year old daughter, which makes me a bit nervous. I haven't met her yet and have informed him that I have never dated someone with kids before! He was pretty good about it and I guess we'll take things one step at a time, which....is just fine with me.

On the other hand....I talked to Legs today and I am renting a truck to get the remainder of my belongings from his farm on Saturday so.....I have to be nice until then.....I hate being nice to people I loathe! I absolutely detest this, this creature on two legs! It goes against my every being to be nice. There are not too many people on this earth that I hate and he is one of them.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch....

Well, the lunch date with the dude from Battletown didnt work out....this is good! Actually, things were backed up here at work and I had to cancel out. I didn't have a good gut feeling about this guy, so I was thankful that there was work to be done!



I did go last night out to dinner, then there was a movie to go to but yesterday at work, I decided to go and get a toffee coffee and I was about half done when the trigger pulled and a migraine started. Damn toffee coffee, guess I won't have that again....anyway, I cut the dinner and a movie short and just went to dinner. It was nice, the lights were low and there were no loud noises! We did make arrangements to try the movie thing again. See how it goes....

Tad turned out to be a dud! Good to find out now! Well, we just separated the men from the cowboys once again!

Carry on McDuff!

Movin' on....

Well, since Tad, fell through, I am daring to head out there again....ahh the trials and tribulations of a kitty kat in training - yup thats right, Cougar status is around the corner!

My next date is this Thursday, I head to VagueVille, which is about an hour away. I decided to meet him on his ground then that way, if the "date" goes to the crapper, I can leave. I am getting wiser in all of this.

I laughed this morning, when I checked out my two regular sites to see if I had any emails and the one man I said no to discreetly on one site, found me on another, emailed me and asked why I closed the match. I am thinking to myself...what does he care. I never even met this person! So I emailed him back and told him that he had a few things up against him. A) he lived in the city - ummmmm farm girl here...how does that work? Would you like the horse and chickens in town?? B). He had ZERO interest in animals....ummmm?? DUH? and C) He didn't like cultural events....ummmmm, the arts is my full time job, now I don't expect a person to love everything, because I sure don't, but this guy would at least have to have a tolerance for it and he didn't. Have a nice life buddy and move on.

I thought it was weird that he tracked me down...ahhh this too shall pass.

Tomorrow I have a lunch date with a man from Battletown. We have a mutual friend who decided to try matchmaking! I am not holding out for much hope as this man too, lives in the city. He may be a nice guy, but he's not for me.


This weekend I am invited to a movie premiere in Saskabush, a theatre friend and I are going to attend. Both films are filmed in Saskatchewan and have Julia Armond, Bill Pullman and Jeremy Irons acting in the one film and haven't heard yet who is in the other.

Ahhhh, what to wear?

Wonder if I should dust off my tiara?

The Year of Me

I sometimes forget that there really are people like me out there. I am the person who can not stop thinking, I think and think and think and it gets exhausting. A person who does this uses up ALOT of energy. Whether we think its good for us or not and really its not good energy at all.

I have been upfront with Tad about certain subjects and have come to find out that he too over thinks. Not as much as I do, but he does. This guy is cautious and I can't say as I blame him. I am too but in a different way and on different subjects like the love for my horses and such...very touchy subject!

So when I asked Tad what was going on in his head, he explained to me that he is quite shy, and he is! I have honestly never dated someone so shy before but anyway.....he is a pretty nice guy and things are progressing.

I have also had another "date" with a....I can't say a gentleman, nor can I say a neanderthal but somewhere in between. He is polite. He is not a snappy dresser. He has not looked after himself well, and I kinda have a peeve about the pictures that are used as "profile" pics. If its a pic that you are 20 years old in and are now 35 years old....well, you don't really look 20 anymore and well, it was kind of a shock, when he introduced himself....he didn't look anything like his picture.

Turn off!

Thank Heaven it was only a coffee date. Needless to say it was short lived date.

I joined another couple of "free" sites!! SCARY!!!!!! I deleted my account about 15 minutes after I was on. Almost nightmare status!

Tad called me yesterday and came in for supper. It was a good meeting and I do think there is potential there. I am weighing the pros and cons on this one. Let me just say, I am so much wiser now.

I have another coffee date later this week. Will see how that one goes!

I can't say that things have gone wrong at all. I am not committed to anyone nor am I getting married tomorrow, but I am having fun, I am not hurting myself or anyone else, and will see how things go.

It's getting pretty busy at work now and I am sure I will once again be married to the job and the dating scene will slow down for me....

Until then the adventure continues...................


Don't worry Poopsie my friend, all is well!

what next?

So this online dating thing is different.

I have had three dates with Tad and all has gone well...except for last night.
I have been given flowers.....which I haven't had in years and years. It was a nice surprise.

Last night I was went to the movies and when he dropped me off at my place, he came inside and I guess I asked him something a few nights ago which made him think I wanted to get married tomorrow. NOW, my idea of dating...and correct me if I am wrong cuz I AM outta the loop on this, but I thought dating was talking about different subjects, past, present and future...to make sure each is on the right track and can get along. My idea is that if I get bad vibes, then were done right off the bat. If I get a good energy about that person, then I throw caution to the wind and say let's give it a try. If things go off really good the first couple of dates, then I shut down all other communication that I have with other potetial and concentrate on putting energy into the current situation.

I see things in black and white. I try to see shades of grey but that tends to get all muddled and blurry. If you can put everything out on the table, at least you know where you stand and can go from there. I refuse to sit around and hem and haw. I have a direction for myself and I think it's pretty clear. Whether or not it includes Tad, well only time will tell, but if he is not in the game then he needs to be benched.

We were sitting on the couch gabbing and Tad tells me that he wants to take things slow and not get so serious. I'm fine with that, but at the same time, if I am gonna see you, then I'm gonna SEE you and only you. I wasn't quite sure how to take it, so this morning I asked him what his deal was...

I'm still waiting on an answer.

I hate dating.

Just not so

Well, I was having problems with what they thought was Essential Tremor Disorder. I just couldn't control my hands. They shook all the time, so they put my on drugs to stop the shaking, then I had Restless Leg Syndrome, so more drugs for that....I couldn't understand, why all of a sudden I had this stuff. Nobody else in my family had it, I didn't know my dad's side, maybe it he had it? What do I know...

When I went back home for the week, I fell apart. Non stop crying, bad thoughts...terrible ones actually, and I then, went to the doctor. As is turns out, depression runs in the family. Grama had, it, my cousin has it, my mom has it, and I do too. He also said I have some OCD trays...meaning I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorders over "time". My time is different to everyone elses. The strange thing is, is that I knew I had a problem with time, but didn't know what or how to stop these outrageous urges. When I go to the lake with Wilma and Bruno, we all hang up our watches and I would think, and think and think about the watch hanging on the nail and tell myself to lighten up. Someone says talk to you later and if it wasn't my later which is 2-4 hours, I would drive myself into the ground pacing, looking out the window, checking the time and I would do it so much, I would lose track of time....I was slowly driving myself crazy.

For those who know me are used to me stuttering and stammering. My brain always in overdrive and can't catch up to what I wanted to say. The anxiety attacks were so severe that I literally could not catch my breath...I would be on the phone to mom or the cousin and so upset that I would gasp for breath leaving them in terror on the other end because I couldn't take in enough air and they couldn't help me from where they were...which is on the other side of the Province!

Today, is a good day. Today, I am on medication that I must stay on, and I may not be cured, but my thinking patterns are evening out, I still have the odd freak out, but they too are subsiding. When someone tells me later, it will BE later and not my later. I can put my watch on and not look at it every five minutes. I'm no longer jumping out of my skin when someone comes around the corner. Things are slowing down and I am on the mend!

Finally.

Not gonna just sit.

Well, it's been 9 days since I got the boot and I decided on about day 3 that I was not gonna sit in my little abode and feel sorry for myself. I thought about Stifler's Mom who was at my place almost every night crying on the couch feeling sorry for herself and making me feel bad about not having anyone in her life. So, on day 4, I joined an online dating service...a well respected one, and the responses I have had are great. Ihave discovered that I will no longer tolerate being treated like a piece of crap, I will no longer tolerate being yelled at or made to feel bad about myself. I am a nice person, I would give you the shirt off my back, I am loyal, trustworthy....and cute!

I also have had a couple of people whom I had meet through Legs ask me out, but I just think that is too weird, and really I don't want to have to cross paths like that. I want to cut the ties and move on, and so, it shall be done.

I managed to meet this really nice guy through this online dating service and we went out for dinner last night. It was really nice to be able to have adult conversation with someone mature, and his head on straight, a direction in life and a career! Who knew!!?

He is heading out this next week for a week of holidays so it will give us a chance to think about things and decide if we are going to continue or go in a different direction, which is good with me.

Until then, I will continue to review my matches and ......date!


Look out! Here I come!

Done like Dinner

Well, the saga is over.
Legs and I are done.

How did things go you might ask?

Well, if you had decided to log on to his facebook and see his status listed as single...you would have known the same time I did! Yup...the coward didn't even have the balls to tell me.

He called me the day before...we talked as usual, nothing struck me as odd. We talked about the upcoming weekend, what I was to get for a gift for the wedding we were to attend together...I got no indication it was over. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

I was very upset at first. But then I got am email from his Aunt....HIS AUNT!! She told me that I was a good person, that his family were nothing but mean, nasty people and took anyone they could for granted. Squeezed the life out of them and then threw them away and that I should be glad that they are no longer in my life.

That my friends......

Made me smile!

Changes.

I remember when I was about four and my mom dropped the babysitter and I off at the new Flintstones' movie at the theater uptown. I had serious abandonment issues when I was little, with "the father" dumping us and plus I was on meds that were not "meshing", so I was not only messed up emotionally, but my drugs were working against me as well.

After mom dropped us off, she had some shopping to do uptown. I knew she would be at the Co-op. The babysitter and I went in, bought tickets, sat down, and she took off her jacket and was about to take off mine, when I went into this "fit". I bolted. I ran out of the movie theater and ran, and ran. Now this is small town Saskatchewan and everybody knew everybody.

I ran, and ran scream crying down the sidewalk, screaming for my mom. My arms were outstretched in front of me and it seemed like I ran forever. My babysitter caught up with me and I was hysterical. She caught me at the corner of the 4-way stop. I remember people just staring at me like I was nuts. I was hollering for my mom and for her not to leave me.

At 37, in my head, I still feel like I am running. Scream crying with my arms out infront of me, not knowing where to go, having no idea on how to get there. I am not sure "where" is.

Lost.

I always feel lost.



I gotta make some changes 'round here.

Today is the day.

Shy

Well, I look back and I was shy, yes shy. I still am to a degree. Some people take me for being bitchy, but basically, it is just being shy. I'm quiet until I get to know you, then you can't shut me up. I'm not smart. I'm not completely stupid. I think I am just regular. Nothing exceptional, nothing dissappointing.


Shy
–adjective
1.
bashful; retiring.
2.
easily frightened away; timid.
3.
suspicious; distrustful: I am a bit shy of that sort of person.
4.
reluctant; wary.


I am one of those people who don't normally go into a crowded room, guns a-blazin', making everyone aware that I have arrived. I am also not one of those people who go running to see the attention getter either. I am also not one of those people to start a conversation. I will join in, but will never start one.

I am one of those people who will not eat by themselves. I will order room service instead and eat in my room, or order take out and go back to my office.

I have just recently started to venture out on my own. I did go to a movie by myself. Kinda scary, but liberating too. I do go walk on the track at the gym by myself. I go with my MP3 player and listen to music as I walk. I'm not comfortable doing it, but I go.

Last week, I went by myself to a ladies workout class. I knew no one and it was really scary. I'm not sure I'll do it again.

I am supposed to go to Festival in April. I am meeting up with my friends but am not able to sit with them. In fact, I have no idea where they will be sitting and it scares me. I will be arriving late on Wednesday night and will most likely meet them at the green room. I love them to death, and I know its good for me to go by myself, but I know they just don't get it. They don't get that I would sooner curl up in a ball in the corner than have all eyes turn and watch me walk in. I know that doesn't happen, but that's what I perceive happens.
They are very confident people, at least to me they are, and I just don't know if they don't get it (cuz they don't think like that) or just don't have the patience for it.

It IS different on stage or infront of a camera. You are not you. You are your character, and if you do your homework right on your character, it is easy to be someone else. You "become" that character. Some people may beg to differ, but I have been on stage for many years, in many different costumes, some I would not be caught dead in, in "real" life!

Anyway, Since I have been on my own now for a few years, I am kinda getting set in my ways, and this is one way I am really not fond to be in. Not liking large crowds, not liking a sense of not being found. Getting lost. Never being found. Its a horrible feeling.

Must work on getting out by myself more. I guess going in April to Festival, may be a good start.

I know some people would say that I don't project those feelings at all. Well, I may not look it on the outside. Its a pretty good front! But on the inside, I am about ready to die a thousand deaths.

Well, gotta start somewhere! Right?!

Hearing, listening

There is a difference between hearing someone and listening to someone.

I would rather be listened to than heard.

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.

-Dr. Joyce Brothers

That's the way the day started out and continues....I hope the weekend gets better.

Your word

Today was it.

Saturday was hell as I worked with the F.O.H nightmare. She managed to piss off a whole lot of volunteers and, as for me....I have had it too.

On another note...

I bought two...BOUGHT...rather than comp them at my work place, bought two tickets for Legs to go see a world class guitarist and one of his buddies who he was taking backed out. SO I have an extra ticket...I may even use it and let the boss do my job backstage for a change!

On another note...

I talked to a couple of girlfriends to see if they wanted to go view a classic movie on the big screen and one has backed out. Not sure about the other, quite frankly, I am scared to ask.

I don't do that to other people. Why does it continually happen to me? Well, I guess we will chalk it up to the Year of Being Me and changes will implement there too. Boy, I have just had an ah-ha moment....let me ponder....ya see, that's the thing, a person gets three tries with me. You strike out and you get no more effort on my part, and the girlfriend just threw her last strike.

I've had it with people giving me their "word". From now on I want to see "your word" written in blood! I am sick of arranging things for people who express interest and give me a thumbs up to continue to arrange these certain things and then they back out. Well, I've had it. I am not doing it anymore!

I see a pattern here....

You wanna go, you make the arrangements.

I'm done.

Nuts

Apparently I am the one who needs professional help. Yup. Me.

I became unglued last night when I had supper made and no phone call from Legs to say he was going for drinks with the guys after work and then showing up at 8pm. He has done this before. I thought it was nipped in the bud....I guess it's not.

Its disrespectful. I don't do it to him and I expect the same treatment....but I am not getting it and then I am the bad guy for raining on his parade when he walks through the door.

Then, he gets mad at me cuz I am mad at him. This makes no sense to me. Can someone out there in blogland pleeeeeze explain it to me. Have I missed something. I know his cell is hooked up to Sasktel!

Seeing as how this is the Year of Being Me, I decided last night when I was told that I needed professional help to deal with my outbursts, to stop giving a damn and to only think of me.

Thursday, the girls and I are going to dinner and a movie. I'm wanting to not call him to tell him what's going on, but yet I do want to tell him so he then knows that at least one of us can be accountable, and make an example of it.

This is the Year of Being Me.

There are gonna be some changes. And some people may or may not like it.

The Yes Man

Its just easier to say yes.

I can't be bothered to fight, argue or try to make a point. I usually just say yes and fume inside.

Yesterday, we had an "emergency" marketing meeting. There are a couple of shows that are lacking in ticket sales.

First of all, it is February. People are still cleaning up from Christmas bills and those that are not, are in Mexico or somewhere hot...

Secondly, I can only do so much free advertising on shows. It drives me! I was grilled about all the places I do free advertising. All that were suggested, I said yes to.

Thirdly, if they think they can do a better job, then go for it. I'm not stopping them.

I think what really puts me in a twist are the people who are doing the suggesting. These people who are telling me where I should be going are the ones who are house wives, who's husbands pull in hundreds of thousands of dollars, while they go to the gym for the morning, or go to the spa for the morning, or get their nails done in the morning, then in the afternoons, they go shopping, then pick up the kids from school. Full bloody day for them doing dick all.

They are spewing the suggestions...well, I say...go, go. You do it. You're driving by there anyway, on your way to get your hair done.

One woman who's on the Foundation committee asked me if I could go around to one of the sponsor places to get a wine list for the upcoming Gala that is being held here. I asked her why she couldn't do it. SHE goes to the gym every morning. I asked her if she goes all morning? She said yes!

My eyes nearly popped out of my head. So, I said yes. Its just easlier sometimes.

If your gonna do a job right the first time, just do it yourself.... and take the credit!