Its been one week

I decided to take on a second job. I decided to go where I thought would be a fun kinda place to work. Turns out it was more dangerous than fun. I decided to work at a very well known monster chain - a chain Bruno boycots. I was put in the jewellry department - how hard can that be? Change watch batteries, take out links, organize the stands...blah, blah, blah...turns out last Saturday was my last. One paycheck and my letter of resignation. Last Saturday was hell. I find out that it is both the associates and the customers are not all there...when you seel the photos floating around through your personal emails of the people who shop there...believe it! An associate who worked in electronics came by my department with a little girl and a mom. They were looking for little girl socks....hmmm....if the electronic girl had looked to see that across from her department was the little girls socks none of this day would have transpired...not to mention it was double full moon night...ugh. After the two were dumped off in my department I took the two to the footwear section. I stopped with the mom to see the size of the girls feet...and in a split second from looking up to taking a step forward...BAMMMM I smacked head first into a cement pillar in the middle of the walking aisle. I bounced off of it and for the first time in my life my nose bled. Now, I don't know if the rest of you know this, but in a gigantic chain store like this one...if there is blood in the aisle...you literally have to suit up in a BIO HAZARD outfit!...there is protocol and procedure, bags and gloves, face masks and splash proof gear! I ran to the ladies filtting room with an armload of papertowel. Got myself cleaned up and headed to the office to write up an incident report. It is so crazy in that store, that when I slammed my face at 10:30am, I was back on the floor by 11:30 am with still no report done up. A black eye, a flattened nose, and a head ache from hell. I should have been sent to the hospital, I should have been sent home, instead I went back to work. By about 3:30 that afternoon, I was helping a customer pull off a bauble necklace from a stand. She was an elderly but fiesty little lady and we were talking jewellry....just then a fat woman riding a motorized cart came around the corner and ran myself and the lady right over. The lady fell onto me and the fat woman drove up my leg....there goes another incident report. I left work at 4pm. I. Was. Done. A broken nose and a black and blue leg...all in one day. Monday, I went to the doctor about my nose...he complimented my on putting it back in place...ugh. Its been one week now. My nose still hurts and my bruise is fading and my stint at the big chain is painfully over... I start my new second job this week.... Working for a master chocolatier!! I can't wait!

Rant - Intuition

Today, I am heading out with 5 other strangers to a Leadership Sypmosium. I know only 2 out of the 5. Does that mean I should not go?

I am on Twitter and have 71 people following me...I maybe know 3, I don't know the rest....does this mean I should cancel my account since I don't know the other 68 people?

I am on Blogger and have some beloved blogger friends and have not met many of you face to face, should I block you from reading my blogs? HELL NO!

Which leads me to facebook.
I am the creator or 4 pages and have over 3 hundred friends. Some acquaintances, some co-workers and some game players...some I do not know. Being the creator of 4 pages with over 6 hundred people on all four of them, some I do not know, does this mean that I make them not like the page cuz of my profile on it?

If you don't like that new people come into my life everyday, then I guess I better stay home this week and not get into a car with 5 other people. I guess I better tell my boss that I can't run 4 pages anymore and that I better stay in the house with the blinds closed and the car in the garage.

My other point is this.

I have a really good gut intuition. If my gut is telling me to run!, I run! If my gut is telling me these are good people, then they are good people.

Two people made me feel really bad about myself last night and when I defended myself and gave examples to both of them about what they do on these social networks, that what they do is essentially the same thing, this conversation made all these horrible feelings come back. Feelings that I swore I would never have again in my lifetime.

Im really hurt, that these two people, have the gall to tell me what is right and what is wrong when they have no room to talk.

I had these garbage feelings come back, the ones that landed me at the farm for a week, seeing a doctor who had to prescribe me happy pills so I wouldn't jump off the bridge.

How dare you make me feel that way!

If you don't like what I am doing then you can "de-friend, de-follow, and de-blog" me! I am doing nothing wrong. Nothing!

So, get off my back, take a look at yourself. You are no different then I am.

Get a grip!

Two signs

Well, I just got off the phone with Angle and she is all freaked out.

I finally broke down and told mom about my vision. After she hung up from me on the phone they all asked her why she was crying and she told them that I saw grama and grapa. Angle spoke up and said, that she saw them too. Mom never told Angle what I said to her and told Angle to call me right away.

Grama and grapa told her too that they were here to take home their sick little boy and they too had their arms held out. I could hear mom in the background crying.

They were so real, I mean they looked so solid to me...and to Ang.

They were both smiling and they both told us the same thing.

That's pretty cool in my books.

I feel better that she too saw them.

I feel better that they really are waiting for him.

It's now only a matter of time before Uncle Billy leaves us free of pain and hurt and heads toward Grama and Grapa waiting for him on the other side.

The Diva and Jann

One of my good friends here in the Border Town is an avid tweeter and she follows Jann Arden. She was on Jann's twitter account and replied to a statement Jann made....they tweeted and Jann asked if she could phone the Diva to chat...be damned! Jann called The Diva and she will be airing on Jann's CBC radio talk show on July 3rd!!

Way to go Diva!!!

Why is it?

Why is it when someone gets hurt I laugh?

Like when someone bonks their head on something, or catches their foot in the door, or what really just slays me is when I see someone trip.

When I see a tripper, I laugh so hard, I cry. Even now, as I am posting this, I am giggling about watching Buster trip and stub his toe on the chair and go flying into the table....Im killing myself right now! What's wrong with me....wait, I gotta wipe the tears....


It's not like I don't warn people either. If they are doing something potentially dangerous, I will tell them, if you get hurt, I'm gonna laugh...they seem to be ok with it and when it happens, I tell them I told ya so and gut laugh.

Is this bad?

Brain song

My Brain Song today is sung by Ralph the Dog.

With dance/music festival this song comes to mind....I hope that someting better comes along.
I have had women waiting for me to clean up after their children. Your kid throws up in the hallway...you clean it!
You can't get here on time for rehearsal....change your clock to run ten minutes ahead of time.
You forget your things back stage and want to go on stage to go cback stage to get your things and its pitch black up there....go around...everyone else has to.
You come and ask us for bobby pins, safety pins and hair spray...think again!

It has been an interesting last few days and we finally went to the calendar for answers...yup. Full moon.

Nuff said.

This weekend Buster came home and I do believe will be home for the next two weeks to seed. I asked him just what all he seeds, his answer can't be written. I laughed and he then replied, Canola - formerly known as rape, Barley - also known as the beer maker and Wheat which everyone needs at the supper table....which reminds me....

Not sure what it is called everywhere else in the world, but the standing debate/joke at the office is that I am redneck....I beg to differ, because I refer to the evening meal, the meal after work , the main meal you eat before bedtime as "supper".

In my world, there is breakfast, brunch, dinner, lunch, supper and snack....then bed.
Being raised ont he farm, where I hung out with my grama, who made the meals for the men winter or summer, spring or fall. There was a schedule you followed...and the above listed is it for me and my family

I always get corrected.

Eventhough, I work with "former" farm kids who are now "citified"....please! (Snort)
They continue to tell me that it is breakfast, morning snack, lunch, snack, dinner and bed.

When I say I am going for dinner, they look at me funny as I walk out the door. Really I would be going for lunch according to them....it all makes me giggle and I continue to argue and yank their chain.

Why? Cuz I can.

I finally got my belated birthday prezzies from Buster....he did good. I think I'll keep him a little while longer. I have been wanting some nice hoop earrings...he came through...he also knows I like sparkly costume jewelry....he came through....

Yup. He is a keeper!

HSP

For years, I have been told that I am over sensitive. That I take things too personal. That I take things to heart, that I am an overthinker. Believe me, I know this. I am fully aware of these "flaws" that I possess. This is not fun for me.

I have close family and friends that tell me this on a regular basis. I KNOW that I am over sensitive...stop reminding me. Remind yourself instead!

I sat down with someone last week. Someone that is like me. This person and I have become pretty good friends and we chat about our "flaws" quite a bit. I had a light bulb moment.

He made me realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I should recognize and embrace my personal characteristics, or my "flaws".

I recognize and am affected by a persons mood or aura, well before they even do. I recognize the slightest movements or gestures before the other person realizes they are doing it. I recognize tones in the other persons voice before they ever do. I am a highly sensitive to loud noises and startly very, very easily. I get overwhelmed very easliy and need a "time out" in order to think things over and to regroup.

People misunderstand me at times when I become quiet and withdraw. It's not that I am mad, angry or afraid. I am really just assessing the situation and deciding my next course of action and how I should handle it. Me.

I overthink a situation and then assume it is my fault, I worry. Guess that's why I have an ulcer. I work well by myself so I am not scrutinized by others. I know family and friends and yes even Buster get impatient with me, but, I already have you, all of you, figured out well before you even know you do. After these "flaws" of mine were pointed out to me and was given material to read about it, it made so much sense to me. These "flaws" really aren't a flaw at all but rather a gift that I could use to my advantage.

I am who I am. I can not change this. Try as I might. I just can't .

If you love me.
You will keep this in mind.
If you care about me.
You will have patience with me as I do with you.

I See.

I see the Film Society is having a screening on Meet Me in St. Louis. That is one of my favourite musicals. I would have to say that my all time favourite is Oliver Twist. The one with Oliver Reed playing Bill Sykes with his dog Bulldog.

I can even recite lines from that movie let alone singing the songs in top volume. "What?! You want MORE!!!?" I love the costumes. I actually can still lose myself and all aspects of time when that movie is on. I get tunnel vision and thats it, I tune out all other sounds around me and sit on the floor and watch.

Another of my favourites isn't a moive but a sitcom. Three's Comany. I have watched it soooo many times that I too can recite lines. I am at the moment compiling all recipies ever mentioned on the show hoping that one day, I can publish a Three's Company Cookbook. Ahhh, someday.

Are You Being Served? and Keeping up Appearances are also favourites.

The A-Team and Alf rank up there too. I remember writing a story in Grade 8 English. I loved English. I always did so well in that class....but anyway, I wrote a story about The G-Team and their adventures. I also remember getting an F because it wasn't original! Original my ass! It was a story that came out of my head but the G Team were a bunch of karate kickin' teenage girls..then out came Ninja Turtles....go figure!

I was ahead of my time I guess.

Moving...

Ahh, it has been quite a learning experience moving into another Province that for me is only 2 minutes away.

This WILL BE my last move!

The paperwork that goes with it is absolutely ridiculous and it shows me really how lax we are in Saskatchewan if someone moves into the Province. Trying to get into Alberta or to be a resident there, is like trying to get back into Canada from a vacation abroad! Its insane!!! You might as well go through a pat down!

Anyway, I think we have everything straightened out.

As of today, I have started packing to move....I have realized that I have alot of crap, ummm, I mean stuff! That I really do use. Really Buster, I do!

SO, I have loaded up the new little vehicle and when Bruno, Wilma, Ruthie Tuesday and Katie-did come to visit close to the end of this month, well, there will just be the basics here. A table, beds, and a shower.

This buy the way is the new little Utility Car, I bought....with the help of Buster!!
Let me say, that it can sure pack alot of "stuff" in it. That little vehicle has in it oodles of bags, a bookcase, a plant stand, an end table, scads of bedding, table cloths, breakables, DVD's , oh a stereo, and I can't think what else I put in there, but that baby is packed right to the top!

I think its a nifty little tool!

WOOHOO!!!

Holy Dinah!!!

The 10,000 mark has been hit!!

The Car.

Well, I decided on a Ford Escape. Its gets a little less than my car but its higher off the ground and I can put things in the back like feed, saddles etc. when I go somewhere. I'm not sure if I am excited yet. Until I actually make my first payment without holding my breath then I will be happy. That way, I know its actually mine, the paperwork has gone through and all will be well.

Change is good!

I'm not sure when I pick it up, but what I find most humiliating is that at 38, I needed a consignor.

Don't ever, ever, depend on someone so much that you have nothing when the shit hits the fan and your out.

A consignor! I'm grateful that Buster stepped up to help me out but WTF?


Bah....

I give up.

Awww...

We have performance here tonight at work and for helping out with hospitality in the green room, I was given....eggs.

You read it here first my friends!

Boot Camp and other things...

The girls and I have started boot camp last week. After the little excursion to Mexico, I had gained even more.

SO! I have been at it for 4 days....the bad thing is NO ALCOHOL for the next 12 weeks, and this week, I really could have used a shot or two, especially yesterday and so far even today yet and its only morning!!

I move my belongings from the ex's on Saturday and in the process I managed to scare the bejiggers out of Buster by having a metal breakdown.... I think I am back on track again, thank Goodness for the happy pills. Thank the Good Lord for Buster. I am truly blessed to have him in my life.

I am nervous about going out there on Saturday to pick up my stuff. I am renting a Uhaul van and that has got me nervous more than anything. I'm hoping I can handle driving it. The drive is two and so hours one way, which means 4+ hours driving time...yuck.


Yesterday morning I got into a car accident and the girl who crashed into me doesn't want to go through her insurance. I filed a police report and went to my insurance and this afternoon I have a meetingwith her and her mom. The autobody people say the damage may be worth more than the car....I'm not impressed. Im ok, just a little stiff. It was nothing like the Presidential Rollover I had with Bruno a few years back. But the same time, its a real pain in the ass to get all my bases covered. Like booking an appointment to get the car appraised for damage, then booking the autobody and having a rental car while mine either gets fixed OR buy a new one, if it gets written off.

This week has been busy with shows, rehearsals and meetings. I am looking forward to next week when things calm down a bit.

I'll have gin and tonic please!

What's that saying again??

So, I went to a pretty good meeting this morning on social networking for the job. My 'temp' boss came with me as she likes this stuff too. I am the one who puts together all media advertising, social networking, you name it, if it has to be advertised, I am the one.

We watched today a video that was on UTube. Now, we have been playing with that idea for some time now, do we do a "commercial" persay, do we do a "taping" of a play rehearsal, do we do an "out takes" of funny stuff that happens here....anyway, my temp boss is also on the board of directors as well as a few others. One other board member also attended this meeting as well. After we saw this little video, he stood up and motioned to my boss that, that was something we would have to do, and that she would be the one to get it done.

What am I chopped liver? My temp boss leaned over and said to me, yes we will have to get on this and my response was...I didn't hear my name mentioned!!

I thought is was funny.

She didn't.

We got back to work and since I am directing the play for the Gala in March, and the perfectionist that I am, I want things to start getting in order. My actors are learning their lines quite nicely and now I want to incorporate the music, sound and lighting....I smell sabotage in the works.

One of the people that I hate just so happens to be in Vancouver doing lights for some of the shows for the Olympics ( We'll never hear the end of this!), I say the father away the better. He will just be getting back from there when my show really gets tight....and really, I don't want him anywhere near my set, my actors or me! But such is life.... He, in Vancouver has instructed all of the back stage crew to NOT help me. For them not to touch the lights, not to touch the sound board, not to help me with anything...how can one person have such a strong hold on others? Well, really I just got out of relationship like that so I understand, but my thing is, is if he's not here...how will he know?

I don't want this show to be some half wit, concoction. I want it to be professional, snazzy and I want people to talk about it and in a good way.

This guy really picks my a$$.

Now, I am waiting for the Artist in Residence and another woman to show up and we will be hitting the cafetieria in the college to see what we can do for the decorations. I would like the cafeteria to have an eerie, dark Englich Pub feel for the pre-gala event. I have piped in an 8 minute song from The Shining to be played down there and right before the curtain goe up. I am really getting excited about this, now if I just had some help from the tech end all would be well....

Ahhh, for tomorrow's events!!!

Feeling the blood drain

I'm in the box office gabbing to the box office gurus and this tall man came walking up to the counter....I could feel the blood drain from my face and then felt my checks get hot...it was the flee date....

A little over 4 years ago, after I separated from Millertime and was still working at Staples, a guy came in for a desk part that broke and I set him up and ordered a new one for him. He came in a few days later (to see if the part came in, eventhough I told him it would be a couple of weeks), to see about the part and to ask me out for dinner. He was nice, clean shaven, tall, dark.

I said ok.

We went out for a couple of drinks and set up for a second date at his house. Fine.

I told my girlfriend where I would be going and when and if I wasn't at work the next day, I am dead and here is the address. She laughed and that was that.

I went over to DM's house and after supper we decided to watch a movie and have a drink. He set the movie up and wandered down the hall , leaving me there to watch the preview of the movie. I thought he went to the bathroom....about oh, maybe 10 minutes had gone by and I wondered down the hall, thinking he may have fallen in the toilet.

I saw the bathroom door open and no one was in there. I turned to the right to look in a bedroom, and there he was buck naked, laying on the bed masterbating! Needless to say, I was shocked.

I turned and ran down the hallway (which seemed like forever), grabbed my jacket, purse and keys and bombed outta there, all the while he was yelling at me to stay and help him...ummmm, I don't think so.

So today, when he sauntered up to the counter, he recognized me and got this goofy grin on his face. I could feel the blood drain from mine. I slowly backed away and once again took off for my office.

Now, he knows where I work.

Eeee, gads.

Laughs

Good news!

Well, it has been confirmed that a clothing fashion designer who designs Native Wear is branching out and is taking her talents to a new high. She has decided to branch out and do an all round ladies line. She was looking to do the photo shoot of her new line in a setting with lots of trees, rivers...well, ok and or creeks! and horses and a friend of ours recommended us to her and she is now using our farm and horses in her shoot!

We are super excited as with will show off our herd of spotted friends and the scenic valley we live in.

Too cool!

Just not so

Well, I was having problems with what they thought was Essential Tremor Disorder. I just couldn't control my hands. They shook all the time, so they put my on drugs to stop the shaking, then I had Restless Leg Syndrome, so more drugs for that....I couldn't understand, why all of a sudden I had this stuff. Nobody else in my family had it, I didn't know my dad's side, maybe it he had it? What do I know...

When I went back home for the week, I fell apart. Non stop crying, bad thoughts...terrible ones actually, and I then, went to the doctor. As is turns out, depression runs in the family. Grama had, it, my cousin has it, my mom has it, and I do too. He also said I have some OCD trays...meaning I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorders over "time". My time is different to everyone elses. The strange thing is, is that I knew I had a problem with time, but didn't know what or how to stop these outrageous urges. When I go to the lake with Wilma and Bruno, we all hang up our watches and I would think, and think and think about the watch hanging on the nail and tell myself to lighten up. Someone says talk to you later and if it wasn't my later which is 2-4 hours, I would drive myself into the ground pacing, looking out the window, checking the time and I would do it so much, I would lose track of time....I was slowly driving myself crazy.

For those who know me are used to me stuttering and stammering. My brain always in overdrive and can't catch up to what I wanted to say. The anxiety attacks were so severe that I literally could not catch my breath...I would be on the phone to mom or the cousin and so upset that I would gasp for breath leaving them in terror on the other end because I couldn't take in enough air and they couldn't help me from where they were...which is on the other side of the Province!

Today, is a good day. Today, I am on medication that I must stay on, and I may not be cured, but my thinking patterns are evening out, I still have the odd freak out, but they too are subsiding. When someone tells me later, it will BE later and not my later. I can put my watch on and not look at it every five minutes. I'm no longer jumping out of my skin when someone comes around the corner. Things are slowing down and I am on the mend!

Finally.

We've been robbed!

My faith tells me he is in a better place, my faith tells me she won't suffer any more but really we have been robbed!






As a kid I used to play "Charlie's Angels" with friends...I was never Farrah, even though I had the blonde hair. I was usually "the other one"!








Today, in the porch closet I pass the dusty black Michael Jackson zipper jacket. Yup, I still have it! and the "glove", is in the pocket. I'm admitting that....eeegads.



I used to wear the pleather black skin tight pants and the peter pan get-away shoes with the oversized dress shirt buttoned half way down with a belt wrapped at least three times around my waist. My influence....Michael Jackson.



I never had the body of Farrah Fawcett so I workedwith what I had!! and the Pleather pants seemed to work for me....or so I thought. I looked like all that and a bag of chips!



As I hear the news of both icons passing I was saddened more about Michaels than Farrah's, she was struggling for so long..



I was working at the hell job yesterday afternoon when we all heard it, staff and customers and we all stopped in our tracks....did he just say Michael Jackson? Nahhhh, I think I heard Michael Jordan.....noooo, he said Michael Jackson!!



I watched the news this morning and had a little cry. I was reflecting on another King that I remember dying....Elvis. Two "Kings" that died way too early.



I know Jackson had some rough times but he was who he was and that's all there is to say about that, you can't argue the point. You just can't!



I am saddened that two people whom I grew up with are gone and at such a young age.

Good bye my friends.



My heart goes out to their family and friends and all the fans who feel as I do.





We have been robbed!

Pet Peeve

One of my biggest pet peeves in this Border Town are drivers.

I would say the majority of drivers between 25-55 are ROAD HAZZARDS!!! Don't even get me started on the over 55's!

If a highway is marked 110 kms and you are doing 90....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD! People are leap frogging you! If the highway is marked 110kms and you are doing 130-140....YOU ARE A ROAD HAZZARD!!! You are now leap frogging others! Can't you just do the speed limit, or can't you just go with the flow of traffic. If you are late, then YOU SHOULD OF LEFT EARLIER.......

Where did they get their license? Who gave it to them?

I am also a firm believer in people over 70, should be getting a re-test on their drivers license...in fact after 70, they should be getting re-tested every two years.

4 Way stop signs are also another bone of contention....Obviously, most of them have never lived in small town Saskatchewan or small town anywhere, where that's all they have...Berline!!!!

Or the rigs....4 huge trucks pull out on to the highway....their top speed....60! 60!...and they are all in a line so you can't pass.....once I managed to pass 3 out of the 4, the biggest truck was yet to pass....the driver, Bless him...moved over on to the side to let the 7 cars behind me plus myself, pass! Why didn't the other 3 smaller big trucks pull over! Hell, even the huge Semi drivers pull over for you! It's nuts!

Or it's two solid lines and some idiot coming towards you decides to pass and all you see are headlights coming at you!! If that doesn't make your arse tighten up a bit, then I don't know what would!

Idiots!....

It seems though, once I get started towards Battlefort people seem to get their wits about them....once I hit Toon town, all is well, and as I am driving the 8 hours to my home town...eveything seems fine. People in the larger cities are courteous and obey most rules....its just the BorderTown... where, I guess, everyone's brains have flown out the window!

I hope that doesn't happen to me!

Who knew?