what the....?

The weekend was good. I did lots. I exercised, ate right and started to do some thinking! It must have been the lack of food, or oxygen, or something.... that I decided to do this....

I have been thinking for a LONG time now that I should write a book of sorts on my "adventures" of being married to the RCMP....after I divorced I realized that it WAS the RCMP I was married to, not my ex!

I started to write and decided to call my mother and tell her what I was doing and to read the first page to her. Right away, she starts...well you can't do that!

Why not?

My mother...the do-gooder! Heaven forbid I should do something not right! I was brought up better than that!!! I can just hear her...no wait....I did hear her!!

Well for starters I would be disrespecting the RCMP and the people involved....no, not really.... I never said that I would use their real names, just the places that I was stationed at and the "adventures" that I was involved in.

Why can't I do this?

I NEVER got a thank you, kiss my ass, a go to hell, or anything from "them" while I was helping my "ex" climb the ranks or giving moral support for him and others! Once I got a divorce from him, I have had phone calls from spouses telling me what an awful person I was for "deserting my husband", I have lost close friends who are in the RCMP because it is such a "tight circle" they can't associate with me. I always called them the "good mafia" because everybody watches out for everybody until you are "out", then you are "dead" to them. Done. Final.

It is crazy!

I don't know if there are other "ex's" from the RCMP out there in cyber space who have experienced this but I know what I have gone through and it was scarring. I know I am a good person, I know that things happen and people grow apart or abuse is involved or whatever and they have a voice. Why can't I? Why do I have to "keep the peace?" No pun intended!!

I am tired of it.

I still mourn the loss of some people who I had known for 15+ years. People that I loved as friends. It is sad really....

I guess that is why I am writing all of these "adventures" down on paper. We (the spouses), were all held hostage for an night, we had the calls from telecoms calling them out for stabbings, rapes, beatings and more, we were there when their buddies were shot while on duty...we were there to see how affected they were by these incidents.

That is why I am doing it...I guess to let people know that it is not just the ones on duty who are affected by the goings on in the RCMP. It is all of us.

ok...I'm done. I save the rest for the book.