Not fitting in

I'm finding new struggles all the time with this "ready made" family that I have just joined.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but didn't think I would "see" things this fast either.

I'm finding that I am left out alot of times. I don't think its on purpose just not thinking outside the box on their part. Like "Fairy Mae is working until 5 can we get together after that for that coffee?", or watching a movie together in another room while I am in the other. I feel like I am intruding alot of times. I just need to be asked is all. Maybe I should be the one asking?

Need some help here.

I can watch supernanny till I am blue in the face, but it's not the same.

I feel like I can cook the suppers, make the beds and do the laundry but not truly share together time with the three of us afterwards. I am outside looking in.

Maybe it's because I am an only child and don't know how to participate in family time? I don't know what boundaries I should have.

I see that bed time should not be asked with a question but rather said with a statement. "Do you want to go to bed?" What 5 year old in their right mind is gonna say "yes"! Instead of "bedtime in 5 minutes."

I see that when a child is hungry they will tell you rather then you asking them every ten minutes if they are and the answer the same as before..."no".

I see so many things but am scared to say for fear of an arguement. I am no child rearer, but I do see what is wrong and what is right. My mom and grand parents instilled morals and respect into me. I get it. I really do.

I guess what I feel the most that makes me sad is lack of participation or even credit given.

Over Easter when Buster was sick and kiddo and I went to grams and gramps house, when it was time to fill our plates, I knew enough that kids went first. I got Kiddo's plate and went up and she came with, helping and telling me what she wanted and didn't want. It was when Auntie came along to take the plate from ME to fill Kiddo's plate.

Did I look like I didn't know what I was doing? Hell ya, I knew what I was doing! Kiddo knew too! She took my defence...a 5 year old put Auntie in her place. I chuckled under my breath. "I am a mom and its just natural" she said....thanks lady, that makes me feel better! Now I look like an idiot infront of 20 people. Great!

I remember sittting on the couch as a child watching a brood of children fight, play and tease each other while I watched and observed. It fascinated me.

Now when I see this as an adult, it makes me feel left out. It makes me feel like a reject. Like I am not worthy of fitting in to "their" routine. I am only there for chores. Like a maid, a house servant.

I hate it.

I know its only the beginning but, holy moley, it's gotta get better!!!