Brain song

My Brain Song today is sung by Ralph the Dog.

With dance/music festival this song comes to mind....I hope that someting better comes along.
I have had women waiting for me to clean up after their children. Your kid throws up in the hallway...you clean it!
You can't get here on time for rehearsal....change your clock to run ten minutes ahead of time.
You forget your things back stage and want to go on stage to go cback stage to get your things and its pitch black up there....go around...everyone else has to.
You come and ask us for bobby pins, safety pins and hair spray...think again!

It has been an interesting last few days and we finally went to the calendar for answers...yup. Full moon.

Nuff said.

This weekend Buster came home and I do believe will be home for the next two weeks to seed. I asked him just what all he seeds, his answer can't be written. I laughed and he then replied, Canola - formerly known as rape, Barley - also known as the beer maker and Wheat which everyone needs at the supper table....which reminds me....

Not sure what it is called everywhere else in the world, but the standing debate/joke at the office is that I am redneck....I beg to differ, because I refer to the evening meal, the meal after work , the main meal you eat before bedtime as "supper".

In my world, there is breakfast, brunch, dinner, lunch, supper and snack....then bed.
Being raised ont he farm, where I hung out with my grama, who made the meals for the men winter or summer, spring or fall. There was a schedule you followed...and the above listed is it for me and my family

I always get corrected.

Eventhough, I work with "former" farm kids who are now "citified"....please! (Snort)
They continue to tell me that it is breakfast, morning snack, lunch, snack, dinner and bed.

When I say I am going for dinner, they look at me funny as I walk out the door. Really I would be going for lunch according to them....it all makes me giggle and I continue to argue and yank their chain.

Why? Cuz I can.

I finally got my belated birthday prezzies from Buster....he did good. I think I'll keep him a little while longer. I have been wanting some nice hoop earrings...he came through...he also knows I like sparkly costume jewelry....he came through....

Yup. He is a keeper!

Our first....

Here he is...our first baby this year.

Obie!

His name is Obie for two reasons....
1). This year we are on the "o"s which means we have been breeding horses for 15 plus years. and this is the year of the "O".
2). He is named Obie after my grandfather. Our last name is Obal and when grapa was in the Canadian Army - Drill Sgt....Obie was grapas nickname.

According to Ma Kettle he is pretty sweet and very tame. Can't wait to meet him on May long weekend!




I also got news that three of my beloved horses are not well. This baffles me as they were healthy as horses...if you pardon the pun, when I dropped them off at mom's last fall.

My boy, Bosley has string halt and my other two older mares are down on weight and if they don't pick up soon on the oats, oil and beet pulp, I will have to make some very, very tough decisions. Decisions that I am not ready for yet.

Bosley has been with me since he was two and is now in his late twenties. We have been to many, many horse shows, winning left, right and center. Jeannie has back and hip problems and is in her early twenties. She too, is a show horse. She has taken me to many a championship as well. I broke her as a two year old for a neighbour and after I spent a month with her, he then sold her, I found out to who (now I know why she has back and hip problems) and about 5 years later was able to buy her back and she has been with me ever since. Tuffy is in her early thirties and has been with us for many years. We bought her from the States...Montana, I do believe....she is my mom's trail horse and has given us many a foal and many years of pleasure in the bush and along the creek.

My heart aches thinking about the future deeds. I am heading home May long weekend and with the Equine Massage Therapy under my belt, I am hoping to help them all out. Doing this type of work in the winter is useless. The cold just makes them tense up again and makes things worse. Best just to leave well enough alone til it warms up.

My horses are my best friends. They have helped me overcome sadness. They have brought me hours and hours of enjoyment, happiness and laughter. I trust them with my life. I honestly can't say that about people. Mind you, horses I can read better than anything. People...not so much!

I can't imagine my life without those four legged creatures.

Can't imagine at all.

Mmmmm Bop - Brain song

The other day while I ws driving to work....1.5 hours one way...and I like the drive. I was thinking to myself....as I often do!

I would really like to hear Roger Miller sing Pendulum Swings...I had the urge to flip the station and holy crap! The song was playing.

Yesterday morning, I thought I would try it again. Mmmm Bop of all songs popped into my head and I turned the radio on and I scared myself...it ws playing.

Last night on the ride home, I thought I would get a chuckle and turn to Blue Collar Radio. Ron White would really pick me up. Good grief! He was on the radio talking about Marriage.

Three times it's happened.

The volume hasnt turned up on its own for quite some time now but I thought it was kinda cool how a song pops into mythoughts and be damned if it isn't on playing.

I am gonna try it again tonight when I head home from work...see what happens.

Weird!

Not fitting in

I'm finding new struggles all the time with this "ready made" family that I have just joined.
I knew it wouldn't be easy, but didn't think I would "see" things this fast either.

I'm finding that I am left out alot of times. I don't think its on purpose just not thinking outside the box on their part. Like "Fairy Mae is working until 5 can we get together after that for that coffee?", or watching a movie together in another room while I am in the other. I feel like I am intruding alot of times. I just need to be asked is all. Maybe I should be the one asking?

Need some help here.

I can watch supernanny till I am blue in the face, but it's not the same.

I feel like I can cook the suppers, make the beds and do the laundry but not truly share together time with the three of us afterwards. I am outside looking in.

Maybe it's because I am an only child and don't know how to participate in family time? I don't know what boundaries I should have.

I see that bed time should not be asked with a question but rather said with a statement. "Do you want to go to bed?" What 5 year old in their right mind is gonna say "yes"! Instead of "bedtime in 5 minutes."

I see that when a child is hungry they will tell you rather then you asking them every ten minutes if they are and the answer the same as before..."no".

I see so many things but am scared to say for fear of an arguement. I am no child rearer, but I do see what is wrong and what is right. My mom and grand parents instilled morals and respect into me. I get it. I really do.

I guess what I feel the most that makes me sad is lack of participation or even credit given.

Over Easter when Buster was sick and kiddo and I went to grams and gramps house, when it was time to fill our plates, I knew enough that kids went first. I got Kiddo's plate and went up and she came with, helping and telling me what she wanted and didn't want. It was when Auntie came along to take the plate from ME to fill Kiddo's plate.

Did I look like I didn't know what I was doing? Hell ya, I knew what I was doing! Kiddo knew too! She took my defence...a 5 year old put Auntie in her place. I chuckled under my breath. "I am a mom and its just natural" she said....thanks lady, that makes me feel better! Now I look like an idiot infront of 20 people. Great!

I remember sittting on the couch as a child watching a brood of children fight, play and tease each other while I watched and observed. It fascinated me.

Now when I see this as an adult, it makes me feel left out. It makes me feel like a reject. Like I am not worthy of fitting in to "their" routine. I am only there for chores. Like a maid, a house servant.

I hate it.

I know its only the beginning but, holy moley, it's gotta get better!!!

WTF?

Never assume my friends, in anything.

If you are unsure....ask. That is the best sure fire way to not have someone mad, hurt or disappointed at/in you. There are so many types of communication now a days that there is just no excuse for it anymore. None.

Pretty black and white to me.

Respect one another.

Oh dear....

So, Festival is not going as planned. I won't be there....at all.

I instead, am having company and am looking quite forward to it as I have not seen these treasured friends in months...so welcome!

I am hoping we can head into Edmontus and hit the Mayfield Inn for Dial M for Murder on the Friday night or Saturday night.

The house is fairly clean, but the main thing is that the beds are made and they are clean and fresh as a daisy.

Believe it or not, I really did enjoy my first Easter with the "new" family. Buster gets frustrated with the fam sometimes, but then, who doesn't!

It was great fun to colour Easter eggs with little kids. Buster's daughter is going to be 5 soon and it has been fun so far. There has been a few bumps but nothing that can't be smoothed out. She has a great sense of humour like her dad and that is fun for us all.

I have enjoyed the eggs and decorating jars and helping do her hair, get her dressed and yes, even running the water for the bath is fun too.

Buster and the rug rat are gone now for two weeks and holy crap is it gonna be quiet. Can't wait to bring Effie, my dog home so we can pass the time together until the two week stints are done.

Well, this week is once again busy with work/performances...so off I go.

Hope you all had a great Easter!

Sicko Easter

The Easter has not been the greatest. It's been nice but I have had better. Being put into a "step mom" roll has and is an adjustment for me. I have to watch what I say. I have to share. I have to have patience. I can do this, but I also need some encouragement from the other end as well.

This weekend has been a test and right at the moment the two people who I have busted my ass for, the two sickos are right at this moment watching a movie together. After, I have cooked meals, cleaned up vomit, washed bacteria infested bedding, clean bacteria infested floors, tubs and cooked "light" meals for two terribly sensitive stomachs, I now am the outcast.

They decided to watch a new movie that the Easter Bunny brought, which I might add, I was that bunny! They are in the bedroom, both laying on the bed, engrossed in the frog prince or whatever the damn thing is called. I was in the living room watching Celebrity Apprentice. I may have turned off the TV or said ya, sure lets watch it....but I was never asked. So, here I am mulling over my next course of action.

Ya Buster said do you want to watch with us, when I poked my head in to the bedroom to see where they were and what they were doing, but come on....the movie was already on and the bed is a twin....clearly, the outsider, the maid, stays on the out side....this is not the first time....I'm guessing won't be the last.

Am I being too sensitive here, maybe, but the invite when the movie was decided to go on would have been nice right from the start....it's ok. I will carry on and finish the laundry, and go to my room and read.

Tomorrow is yet another holiday.

Seriously, is it really a holiday?

I thought not. Just another Monday.

HSP

For years, I have been told that I am over sensitive. That I take things too personal. That I take things to heart, that I am an overthinker. Believe me, I know this. I am fully aware of these "flaws" that I possess. This is not fun for me.

I have close family and friends that tell me this on a regular basis. I KNOW that I am over sensitive...stop reminding me. Remind yourself instead!

I sat down with someone last week. Someone that is like me. This person and I have become pretty good friends and we chat about our "flaws" quite a bit. I had a light bulb moment.

He made me realize that I am a highly sensitive person and that I should recognize and embrace my personal characteristics, or my "flaws".

I recognize and am affected by a persons mood or aura, well before they even do. I recognize the slightest movements or gestures before the other person realizes they are doing it. I recognize tones in the other persons voice before they ever do. I am a highly sensitive to loud noises and startly very, very easily. I get overwhelmed very easliy and need a "time out" in order to think things over and to regroup.

People misunderstand me at times when I become quiet and withdraw. It's not that I am mad, angry or afraid. I am really just assessing the situation and deciding my next course of action and how I should handle it. Me.

I overthink a situation and then assume it is my fault, I worry. Guess that's why I have an ulcer. I work well by myself so I am not scrutinized by others. I know family and friends and yes even Buster get impatient with me, but, I already have you, all of you, figured out well before you even know you do. After these "flaws" of mine were pointed out to me and was given material to read about it, it made so much sense to me. These "flaws" really aren't a flaw at all but rather a gift that I could use to my advantage.

I am who I am. I can not change this. Try as I might. I just can't .

If you love me.
You will keep this in mind.
If you care about me.
You will have patience with me as I do with you.