Only Child Syndrome

My photo
The fact is this...I am a LATE thirty-something, an only child with one living parent and I hate, by the way, being an only child.

I am a drama queen and I know it, and I love it and I won't change it!

I am finally in a career that I love and I finally found someone special, just for me and my dramatic nature!

I am a horse lover. I love and ride Appaloosa horses.

I am and artsy-farts and love all aspects of the Arts and Culture. I am an Independent Stylist for Stella & Dot and love the jewels.

I have a dog who is my four legged baby, her name is Effie and I have another three legged baby and her name is Daisy.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Good news!

Well, it has been confirmed that a clothing fashion designer who designs Native Wear is branching out and is taking her talents to a new high. She has decided to branch out and do an all round ladies line. She was looking to do the photo shoot of her new line in a setting with lots of trees, rivers...well, ok and or creeks! and horses and a friend of ours recommended us to her and she is now using our farm and horses in her shoot!

We are super excited as with will show off our herd of spotted friends and the scenic valley we live in.

Too cool!

The Year of Me

I sometimes forget that there really are people like me out there. I am the person who can not stop thinking, I think and think and think and it gets exhausting. A person who does this uses up ALOT of energy. Whether we think its good for us or not and really its not good energy at all.

I have been upfront with Tad about certain subjects and have come to find out that he too over thinks. Not as much as I do, but he does. This guy is cautious and I can't say as I blame him. I am too but in a different way and on different subjects like the love for my horses and such...very touchy subject!

So when I asked Tad what was going on in his head, he explained to me that he is quite shy, and he is! I have honestly never dated someone so shy before but anyway.....he is a pretty nice guy and things are progressing.

I have also had another "date" with a....I can't say a gentleman, nor can I say a neanderthal but somewhere in between. He is polite. He is not a snappy dresser. He has not looked after himself well, and I kinda have a peeve about the pictures that are used as "profile" pics. If its a pic that you are 20 years old in and are now 35 years old....well, you don't really look 20 anymore and well, it was kind of a shock, when he introduced himself....he didn't look anything like his picture.

Turn off!

Thank Heaven it was only a coffee date. Needless to say it was short lived date.

I joined another couple of "free" sites!! SCARY!!!!!! I deleted my account about 15 minutes after I was on. Almost nightmare status!

Tad called me yesterday and came in for supper. It was a good meeting and I do think there is potential there. I am weighing the pros and cons on this one. Let me just say, I am so much wiser now.

I have another coffee date later this week. Will see how that one goes!

I can't say that things have gone wrong at all. I am not committed to anyone nor am I getting married tomorrow, but I am having fun, I am not hurting myself or anyone else, and will see how things go.

It's getting pretty busy at work now and I am sure I will once again be married to the job and the dating scene will slow down for me....

Until then the adventure continues...................


Don't worry Poopsie my friend, all is well!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

what next?

So this online dating thing is different.

I have had three dates with Tad and all has gone well...except for last night.
I have been given flowers.....which I haven't had in years and years. It was a nice surprise.

Last night I was went to the movies and when he dropped me off at my place, he came inside and I guess I asked him something a few nights ago which made him think I wanted to get married tomorrow. NOW, my idea of dating...and correct me if I am wrong cuz I AM outta the loop on this, but I thought dating was talking about different subjects, past, present and future...to make sure each is on the right track and can get along. My idea is that if I get bad vibes, then were done right off the bat. If I get a good energy about that person, then I throw caution to the wind and say let's give it a try. If things go off really good the first couple of dates, then I shut down all other communication that I have with other potetial and concentrate on putting energy into the current situation.

I see things in black and white. I try to see shades of grey but that tends to get all muddled and blurry. If you can put everything out on the table, at least you know where you stand and can go from there. I refuse to sit around and hem and haw. I have a direction for myself and I think it's pretty clear. Whether or not it includes Tad, well only time will tell, but if he is not in the game then he needs to be benched.

We were sitting on the couch gabbing and Tad tells me that he wants to take things slow and not get so serious. I'm fine with that, but at the same time, if I am gonna see you, then I'm gonna SEE you and only you. I wasn't quite sure how to take it, so this morning I asked him what his deal was...

I'm still waiting on an answer.

I hate dating.

Monday, August 24, 2009

At the farm

I was at the farm this past weekend and enjoyed the heck outta myself by attending a cabaret hosted by a Pipeline outfit that has been in town for the past few months. They threw the party to thank the community for welcoming them. It was free booze and free food. Can't get much better then that! The band they hired to play was exceptional too. Not only did I have my fill on food and drink but I cut a rug a few times too!

The rest of the weekend was spent fixing fence...that is a never ending job and looking for a missing horse. This is the second horse that has gone missing. We did eventually find the first horse and discovered that a cougar was the culprit and we think that is what happened again. We called our neighbours to see if they saw our missing horse and they told us they lost a mare last month to a cougar....so we called the game warden and he told us to take the gun out with us the next time we check on horses.

While I was walking two miles of fence it suddenly dawned on me that we have a big cat roaming the pasture and by the time I thought of it, all I had to defend myself if I needed to, was a hammer, fencing pliers and three dogs. I figured I was covered so I carried on walking fence. On my way back however, I was in the slough patching fence and the two dogs started to bark and growl. My whole body tensed. The little blonde bomb dog Tammy, stuck close to me. The dogs wouldn't stop barking so I decided to arm myself with the hammer and check it out.

Theo and Effie had trapped a beaver...some relief there! I called them off and we were all happily on our way again.

Yesterday was time to head home and mom and I decided to check all the horses once more before I left. We discovered that one of our babies was so lame that she couldn't step on her front foot....we called Angle-a and her and the kids came out to help wrangle a wild filly on three legs! Well...we managed to get mom, baby and babysitter into the barn, give oats to the guardians and cornered the wild eyed filly. Good thing she was little, I would say about 3-400 pounds. We managed to get the halter on her, give her a needle full of penicillin and rinse her little foot to see what was the cause of her pain....which took all of about 15 minutes....easy!

I was on my way back to the Border Town...yippy. Note of sarcasm there...

Back to the farm in a couple of weeks....wonder what adventure lies ahead!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Just not so

Well, I was having problems with what they thought was Essential Tremor Disorder. I just couldn't control my hands. They shook all the time, so they put my on drugs to stop the shaking, then I had Restless Leg Syndrome, so more drugs for that....I couldn't understand, why all of a sudden I had this stuff. Nobody else in my family had it, I didn't know my dad's side, maybe it he had it? What do I know...

When I went back home for the week, I fell apart. Non stop crying, bad thoughts...terrible ones actually, and I then, went to the doctor. As is turns out, depression runs in the family. Grama had, it, my cousin has it, my mom has it, and I do too. He also said I have some OCD trays...meaning I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorders over "time". My time is different to everyone elses. The strange thing is, is that I knew I had a problem with time, but didn't know what or how to stop these outrageous urges. When I go to the lake with Wilma and Bruno, we all hang up our watches and I would think, and think and think about the watch hanging on the nail and tell myself to lighten up. Someone says talk to you later and if it wasn't my later which is 2-4 hours, I would drive myself into the ground pacing, looking out the window, checking the time and I would do it so much, I would lose track of time....I was slowly driving myself crazy.

For those who know me are used to me stuttering and stammering. My brain always in overdrive and can't catch up to what I wanted to say. The anxiety attacks were so severe that I literally could not catch my breath...I would be on the phone to mom or the cousin and so upset that I would gasp for breath leaving them in terror on the other end because I couldn't take in enough air and they couldn't help me from where they were...which is on the other side of the Province!

Today, is a good day. Today, I am on medication that I must stay on, and I may not be cured, but my thinking patterns are evening out, I still have the odd freak out, but they too are subsiding. When someone tells me later, it will BE later and not my later. I can put my watch on and not look at it every five minutes. I'm no longer jumping out of my skin when someone comes around the corner. Things are slowing down and I am on the mend!

Finally.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Not gonna just sit.

Well, it's been 9 days since I got the boot and I decided on about day 3 that I was not gonna sit in my little abode and feel sorry for myself. I thought about Stifler's Mom who was at my place almost every night crying on the couch feeling sorry for herself and making me feel bad about not having anyone in her life. So, on day 4, I joined an online dating service...a well respected one, and the responses I have had are great. Ihave discovered that I will no longer tolerate being treated like a piece of crap, I will no longer tolerate being yelled at or made to feel bad about myself. I am a nice person, I would give you the shirt off my back, I am loyal, trustworthy....and cute!

I also have had a couple of people whom I had meet through Legs ask me out, but I just think that is too weird, and really I don't want to have to cross paths like that. I want to cut the ties and move on, and so, it shall be done.

I managed to meet this really nice guy through this online dating service and we went out for dinner last night. It was really nice to be able to have adult conversation with someone mature, and his head on straight, a direction in life and a career! Who knew!!?

He is heading out this next week for a week of holidays so it will give us a chance to think about things and decide if we are going to continue or go in a different direction, which is good with me.

Until then, I will continue to review my matches and ......date!


Look out! Here I come!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Done like Dinner

Well, the saga is over.
Legs and I are done.

How did things go you might ask?

Well, if you had decided to log on to his facebook and see his status listed as single...you would have known the same time I did! Yup...the coward didn't even have the balls to tell me.

He called me the day before...we talked as usual, nothing struck me as odd. We talked about the upcoming weekend, what I was to get for a gift for the wedding we were to attend together...I got no indication it was over. Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

I was very upset at first. But then I got am email from his Aunt....HIS AUNT!! She told me that I was a good person, that his family were nothing but mean, nasty people and took anyone they could for granted. Squeezed the life out of them and then threw them away and that I should be glad that they are no longer in my life.

That my friends......

Made me smile!

Ahhhh George