There will be more.

I'm learning new things about myself all the time.

I'm learning to tolerate and appreciate the minds of little people.
I'm learning to tolerate older people but speak my mind without feeling bad about it later.
I'm learning to tolerate Buster and Kiddo when they decide to "act up".
I'm learning to appreciate my OWN time outs.
I'm learning to relax a little under pressure.

That's all within the last week.

I'm learning to see a little more shades of gray but still struggle with the black and white.
I'm learning to stay away from toxic people and not get caught up in their poison.
I'm learning to see a little better in a "dis" functional family and know that mine is not really that bad, or at least is basically the same.

That's all within the last month.

I'm sure there will be more.

Ahhhh, Mondays!

Fast as lightning!

I helped Buster's aunt yesterday. My second job is helping her cater. It was about a 240 seater and all the Ukrainian fixings were on the table. YUM!

There were cabbage rolls, head cheese, three types of salads, buns with cheese inside them and dill sauce spilled over top! There were pickles, fried chicken, and little potatoes with a dill cream sauce ontop as well as baked beet leaves! Man oh Man was it a feast!

As I was standing there at the end of the table a man walked up to me and asked me for....ketchup!

I said "Ketchup?!" My eyebrows were raised and my mouth open. Are you joking? "Ketchup, with what", I asked?

I of course said no! No Ketchup!! WTF?

So I sauntered in to the kitchen and asked the cook....is there any ketchup? In an Ukrainian accent you could hear to the post office was the reply..."Ketchup! Who's putting ketchup on my food!"

That was all I needed. Nope. No Ketchup!

I was also standing there when I heard a woman asking another woman where she was from. The woman replied that she lived in Lloydminster. The other woman asked if she lived on the Alberta side or the Saskatchewan side. Alberta was the reply. And with that there was some verbal exchange and before I knew it, the woman sidled up to me and asked where I was from.

"I live in Vegreville" was my answer....I knew what was coming.
"Oh, I have never seen you there before, are you new?" she asked
"Yes, I am an import.", thinking that I don't even know you what do you care...but I played along.

"Where are you from?" the woman said.
I said, "The Saskatchewan/Manitoba Border."

There was a slight moment of silence...and one word puked out of her mouth..."oh!"

Then she said, "Oh, that's too bad." "Your on the right side now!"

I said, "You know, its attitudes like yours that make me proud to be from Saskatchewan."

She took a quick intake of breath and walked away.

I just smiled.

The Diva and Jann

One of my good friends here in the Border Town is an avid tweeter and she follows Jann Arden. She was on Jann's twitter account and replied to a statement Jann made....they tweeted and Jann asked if she could phone the Diva to chat...be damned! Jann called The Diva and she will be airing on Jann's CBC radio talk show on July 3rd!!

Way to go Diva!!!

This weekend

WOW!

It is busy this weekend!

Kiddo has her birthday party on Friday. I am wondering which of Busters friends will stand us up yet again.
I started a second job by helping Busters Aunt and Uncle out with their catering business. It has been busy!! AND, I have been asked to be on a Theatre Board, which for some strange reason all the meetings are in July! How strange!

I also have to go home to help mother with a few things in the house, which by the way I am not impressed with how things turned out for me on that little renovation adventure my mom just had.

Once again mommy was bailed out by "people who love her" and I am just chopped liver, I who bail her out on a regular basis...am well, I just am her daughter.

My little SUV that I just bought has also been recalled and I now have to take time off work to get it serviced.

Ahhh, so it all starts tonight...which I might add, I may or may not be home by myself...again.

I may have to call upon my old friend Mr. Polar Ice to talk to tonight.

On the bright side, since I started this online workout, I have lost 5 pounds and have toned up considerably...I think I even see and ab poking through!!! WOOHOO!!!

What next!

Dear Buster,
I'm very frustrated this morning. I was frustrated last night already and it spilled over to today.

I don't get to see you for weeks, then the next thing I know is that the family gathering is without me I am ok with that. What I am not ok with is that you know where I am, you know what I am doing and that I am at home waiting for you all . Why can't you pack us both food and have supper with me, rather then me being on my own. If momma told you to jump off the bridge, would you do it? If I told you it was dangerous and not too, would you still listen to her? By the way things are looking, you would listen to her.

Which side you gonna play on?

Don't bring kiddo into this, you know better then that.

Which side you gonna play on?

Why can't you let Kiddo do whatever she needs to do there and you wait?

You want a family unit?

One last time...which side you gonna play on?

Avril's Lyrics

I have always been haunted by the words.

I was driving to work the other day and for the second time in a row, I heard it again.

It hit me like a ton of bricks.

The lyrics leave me to tears most times and I never know why. Why did this song have such an effect on me. DUH!

It reminded me of the one person whom I have never known. I will never know this man and as much as I hate him, I also love him and that my friends is my dad.

I'm With You
Songwriters: Christy, Lauren; Spock, Scott; Edwards, Graham; Lavigne, Avril Ramona;I'm standin' on the bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I'm tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
Hmm hmm hmm

I'm looking for a place
I'm searching for a face
Is anybody here I know?
'Cause nothing's going right
And everything's a mess
And no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
It's a damn cold night
I try to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
Yea yea

Oh, why is everything so confusing?
Maybe I'm just out of my mind
Yea eee yeah, yea eee yeah
Yea yee yea, yea eee yeah,yeah

It's a damn cold night
Tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, yea
I'm with you, yea

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, yea
I'm with you, yea

Take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you, oh
I'm with you
I'm with you

I thought that maybe it was the failed marriage that I had, but nope.
I thought it was cuz the family jilted me so bad over grapa's passing, nope, not that either.

On this highway that I travel twice daily, I get alot of thinking done. What has bothered me in the morning from home leaves me when I hit work and what gets to me at work is gone by the time I get home. But this one damn song played twice in a row finally got though my thick skull.

Its about the person I wish would have made the effort to find me. The person who I thought should have given a damn and for all I know maybe he did...aww hell ,what do I know about that.

What I do know is that I am kind of at piece now with this song. It doesn't haunt me so much anymore.

That's a good thing - Martha Stewart.

Didn't know? Language warning!

If I would have known that after about 3 weeks of working non stop and this being my first weekend off, IF I would have known that there would be one fuck of a moody son-of -a- bitch sitting on the deck, waiting to take his, crap out on me....well, then I would have stayed at work. Once again, I am third man out, getting the residue of what ever happened during the day. My three days off and I can tell you this, I will be getting at least one of those days to myself. Will I be getting an apology....not likely....fuck me, I've just had myself another day with Legs! One thing I have learned from that nut case is that, you don't respect me, I can guarantee that I will be giving back to you return! Sigh.

Where are my happy pills?



Hope everyone else has a great weekend!

fffffffreeezing!

I went to work today, I am inside and if you were to see me now, you would see this...

DUHHHH

Ok...I am following me and I can't figure out how to stop.

Must do some reading....

Quite a show

Dispite his personal demons that he is fighting, I had a chance to meet and truly talk with a really fantastic children's writer Robert Munsch. He has written so many books that touch the heart of many people.

He is this little frame of a man with an infectious smile and soft spoken charm. He actually takes the time to talk to you, to look right at you and to speak to you.
I had my books signed by him and when he did so, he noticed the note that my mom put on the inside of one of them and commented to me that I must be more than just a daughter and that he would sign on the page after my moms note. I found that quite touching.

Once this man hit the stage, he transformed into this fascinating storyteller, the kind that puts you in a trance and you just can't look away. He asked all sorts of kids to come up on stage to help him tell his stories. He did two performances back to back and not one story was the same. He was on stage for two hours telling stories about all sorts of things. One story he told to a little girl in a wheelchair and after when she came up to get her books signed he posed for pictures with this little girl and her face, eventhough you knew she was mentally challenged, her face just lit up. It was really cool to see.

If you ever get a chance to see Mr. Robert Munsch....do not hesitate...go.